How are you guys doing?
For me life is pure hell and agony every waking moment of every day, almost 2 years after the breakdown, hospitalzation, manic delusions, psych meds, severe insomnia and akathisia, losing every bit of connection with reality and relationship of 8 years.
Full blown PSSD, DPDR, mitochondrial dysfunction, complete anhedonia for everything, not able to feel calm, all I feel is hate and inner torment towards this miserable existence with an endless cycle of the same thoughts and negativity inside.
I know that my life already ended, my inner world only consists of apathy and frustration with destroyed cognition and unexplainable pain, not even simple breathing works without pain and destroyed body functions (cant smell, taste, feel body sensatlons normally) - and it's impossible to escape this depressed hell as it already hollowed and destroyed everything in me, the damage is just too huge and nervous system etc. just one... there is no sign of real recovery noticeable.
Needed to type this out, I know noone really cares and has own struggles, life is shit, but hope you guys are having better days than me.
Peace!