u/-Kitten_Mittenz-

I (25F) have been living in hell (student apartments) with these two girls (both below 20) for almost a year. They've been dirty, disrespectful, loud at night, and ignorant to ever request ive given to be respectful and nothing has changed. My lease ends in july and I wont physically be living there for the remaining months until I can move into my new apartment. The lease stays in my name and ill continue to pay it until my lease ends.

Problem time: Theyre claiming i should keep the account in my name even after ive moved out to a new apartment so they dont have to pay the security deposit. Transferring account holder names comes with a deposit of about $230 and its proof the new holder has money to uphold the next continuing bills. I already payed the deposit when I took over the account from my last roommate who moved out. What these girls are claiming is that for them to avoid paying anything, I should just keep the account in my name for... the rest of my life? And if I miss any days paying THEIR bills, its going to reflect negativily on me. Their other option is having ME pay the deposit (proof of THIER credit) because im the one moving out. Which is not how that works anyway, because to transfer it, they have to call and put in their information. All of us are refusing to pay. The last option is having me cancel it and we all get a $50 charge and they open a new account. Which i want to avoid because 1) i dont think i should be paying anything and 2) i dont want to put the other girl who hasnt been a problem through having to pay for something she wasnt involved in. It shows my frustration through the texts, I know I may be in the wrong for that. But for this situation alone, am I overreacting?

Edit for more info: if i cancel, we all are given fees of $50. I want to avoid thst because I dont want to make it my other roommates problem (the other girl ive been good with.) Also to add, $50 is a lot to me since I budget and rarely have enough to pay random fees. It might not sound like a lot to some people, but its rare for me to just having extra money to spend on fees I could avoid.

Final edit: glad I didnt cancel the account like I was told to do because the new apartment im moving to uses the same company. So if I had canceled it I would have been affected negativily anyway which I am glad I didnt. When I move, the account moves with me and they'll have to open their own account and pay the deposit anyway. Thanks for all the advice and comments though.

Info: I did say previously "My lease ends in july but me, along with the only other roommate ive liked, will not be paying the months of june and july since we wont be there. Im not staying in the apartment if I dont have to, especially since its summer break." This was very poor wording on my part. What i meant was, previously (before the post and texting), me and another girl would not pay the energy bill because we wouldnt physically be there. This has since changed, and i, along with her, will continue paying regardless. But I am not breaking my lease nor leaving the others to pay the rent. I will still pay the rent and energy until my lease ends in july, I just physically wont be there and will be with my parents until I can officially move out. Thank you for all the comments bringing this up, and I apologize for wording it so badly at first.

Someone ive been friends with a little under a year is about to be 40 years old and she's dating an 18 year old guy?

I told her that 18 years olds are basically kids at our age.

she tried to justify it by saying "I've always viewed him as a man."

I was really grossed out when she said that so I just blocked her number and on all social media platforms.

Apparently she's never dated anyone close to her age.

Edit: it seems most of you agree that I am NOR. I really was second guessing myself because yes 18 is a legal but doesn't make it right IMHO. I have asked many people i know IRL they all agreed it's weird (even the men i know) but i do live in a pretty conservative state which is why i asked reddit. I am sticking to my decision and keeping her out of my life.

P.S in the comments somewhere i posted the screenshot of the conversation

update

Legally in our state he can't buy tabacco or any smoking products till 21 same with alcohol.

In my state you can't even legally marry under the age of 19 it requires specific legal requirements or parental consent

He has not reached the legal age of majority in our state. Meaning in the laws of our state he is still a minor

However him being 18 makes him fair game for people like her

Final answer before I turn off my notifications for good I am glad I blocked her. I could never be friends with someone who dates minors. I no longer feel guilty about just blocking her mid conversation. I won't delete this post or anything in case some younger people read this, maybe it could safe a life.

I understand humans are not perfect... I don't expect my friends and loved ones to be perfect but I damn sure expect them to not date minors.

EDIT: after reading some replies I should add some additional details for clarity.

1. Very key detail I forgot to add is that my brothers daughter will be a flower girl as long as she is able and comfortable to walk herself down the aisle. This is another part of her being an “exception” is that she’d be IN the wedding.

2. My sister regularly visits the state with her entire family just to come see her in laws. They often stay with the inlaws for up to a month at a time without seeing my family. I do love my sister but it’s a very very complex family dynamic. My sister has also missed multiple other big events of mine over far more petty things so I fully expected her to say she wouldn’t come if it was kids free. My brother just really came outta left field.

I called my oldest sister today and told her that my wedding (in March 2027) will be a kid free wedding. She lives out of state but her in laws are nearby to the wedding and are more than willing to watch her kids. My sister is currently pregnant and will have a 7-8 month old by the time the wedding rolls around and said she feels okay leaving her two oldest kids with the grandparents but not the youngest. I then asked if her husband would be willing to stay with the kids in that case and she said she wouldn’t leave them alone with him either. So basically she’s not coming which is her decision to make, I don’t fully get it but I’m not mad at her either.
The texts are from a conversation with my brother after I talked to my sister. To be clear his daughter (who will be roughly 1.5) is the only kid that is invited to the wedding, honestly because she’s the only kid really in my life (complicated family dynamics and distance). Anyways so his daughter is coming to the wedding but this entire text chain was prompted by me telling our sister (who neither of us are super close with) that she can’t bring her kids.

I’m 18F and I have a close friend (also 18F) that I’ve known since high school. We tell each other pretty much everything, or at least I thought we did.

A few days ago we were hanging out and I was venting about another girl in our friend group. I wasn’t being nice, I’ll admit that. I said she comes off fake sometimes and that I don’t really trust her.

I didn’t think much of it because it was just me venting in what I thought was a private conversation.

Yesterday though, that girl confronted me out of nowhere and basically repeated almost word for word what I had said. So obviously the only way she would know is if my friend told her.

I asked my friend about it and she didn’t even deny it. She said she felt “weird keeping it from her” and thought she deserved to know.

Now things are awkward in the whole group and I feel kind of betrayed, but at the same time I did say those things.

I just thought there was an unspoken rule that when you vent to a close friend, it stays between you.

Now I’m being made out to be the problem because “I said it in the first place.”

I don’t know if I’m more upset at her for repeating it or at myself for saying it at all.

AIO for being mad at her for telling, even though I said it?