One of the reasons I’ve decided to be child free is to protect myself from a huge imbalance of labor.
I work in food service as a server and a host. And time and time again I see mothers being in charge of the children. And every time I ask if they want a highchair or a booster seat a lot of the time the father will just look at the mother and she’ll answer.
This has really bothered me for a while and I had a particularly uncomfortable example yesterday. Two parents came in with their children, and when I brought over the first booster seat, the mother got one of her sons adjusted into the seat. The father was just sitting there so when I got the second booster seat, I tried to hand it directly to him, but he didn’t even reach to grab it. He kept his hands on the table and then he just looked at his wife and then she rapidly scrambled over and took the booster seat from me thanking me and got her son in the seat.
Time and time again, I see the mother being the default parent and men not even knowing if their kids need a damn seat. It’s the mother pushing the stroller. It’s the mother holding her child’s hand as she takes them to the restroom. It’s her feeding the toddler during dinner.
I’ve seen good fathers, but it really bothers me that it’s not the norm. And in so many of these situations couples will go into a union thinking it’s gonna be 50-50, but then the mother can’t catch a break.
With past boyfriends I’ve also seen them thinking something that’s still dirty is ‘good enough’ if they’re cleaning.