4 month into R and a major blow
I (M35) am 4 months into R with my WW (F35) of 16 years. It's not been the smoothest of R and I have had to combersomly guide her through a lot of it, but she has been trying. She's been very good on a surface level but not much in the way of deeper work.
We had all the standard timeline conversations at the begining. I caught the affair in the 'friend stages' and she said she would block him. 6 months later I found that 'friendship' had escalated to a full on emotional affair in secret. She has completely cut the AP off now and I am very confident this is the case.
The timeline was that they began talking again three months after I initially discovered and it grew from there until DDay 6 months later
I now have found out through chance that it never stopped at the initial 'friend stage' discovery it just continued on straight away - which is probably why she couldn't tell me the exact timeframes.
So it feels like the whole R was built on a lie.
I'm so gutted. Exhausted. I'm trying my best at R and this just feels so gut wrenching. I don't want to leave her and split up our family. She said she was worried to say as she felt that I would have left her.
I'm so numb. I feel just lost. 8 months now of mental torture while I try to patch it up and make it all ok to save my family.