u/-BB_-

For me….

Both journeys it was watching the IPs with my children.

A specific memory was with my second set of IPs. We were at dinner, my IF is high profile, and he kept singing, joking, and laughing with my kiddos. He didn’t care who saw, who knew who he was, or how “silly” he was being. He was just there…in the moment…with my babies, they both were. I knew right then that I made an amazing choice.

So, what’s your moment?

One thing that cracks me up about surrogacy is how normal my kids think it is to have “extra families” in our lives.

Like… FaceTiming people in other states/countries? Normal.
Getting baby updates from a child you helped bring into the world? Normal.
Randomly saying “remember the baby(s) mommy carried for them?” at dinner? Also normal 😂

I’m a 2x surrogate and now work professionally in the surrogacy world as well, so I spend a lot of time talking about matching, support, and relationships throughout journeys. But honestly, one of the most unexpected and meaningful parts for me has been seeing the relationships formed outside of just me and the IPs, but with our children. Both of my journeys turned into really beautiful, ongoing friendships. My kids have built their own little bonds with both sets of intended parents and their children, and it’s honestly been such a sweet thing to watch unfold naturally, and one of the best parts of the whole experience.

They don’t see it as anything complicated. To them, it’s just:
“We helped them have a baby and now they’re part of our lives”

They’ve gotten to:
• FaceTime and check in
• See the babies grow up
• Visit and spend time together
• Feel proud of being part of something bigger

And I love that they’re growing up seeing compassion and connection play out in real life, not just something we talk about.

Every journey is different of course, but when the relationship is strong, it really can turn into something lifelong.

For those of you who had a great relationship with your IPs, what are some of your favorite things you’ve seen in your kids’ relationship with them?

As a 2x surrogate, I’ve learned there are certain questions that live rent-free in everyone’s head once they find out what I do 😂

So here’s today’s episode, and maybe a reason to giggle today:

Q: “Omg how do you give the baby away??”
A: I don’t “give a baby away”… I help someone become a parent. Very different vibe, I promise.

Q: “Don’t you get attached?”
A: I get attached the same way an auntie or babysitter gets attached… I care, I protect, but I know from day one this baby isn’t mine.

Q: “I could NEVER do that.”
A: And that’s okay! Good thing not everyone has to 😄

Q: “Is it your egg?”
A: Nope. I’m basically the world’s most committed Airbnb or babysitter (joking! It’s a big responsibility I take very seriously 🥰)

Q: “Is your husband okay with that??”
A: Yes… he’s aware. I didn’t mysteriously decide to have someone else’s baby without mentioning it first 😂

Q: “So like… you’re just pregnant for strangers?”
A: Not strangers for long. These are some of the most meaningful relationships I’ve ever had.

And then there are the sweet ones that actually make me pause for a second 🥹

Q: “What made you want to do something like this?”
A: Honestly? Seeing what it means to the parents… it’s hard to put into words.

Q: “Do you still get updates or see the babies?”
A: Yes, and it’s one of the best parts!! Watching them grow is so special!

Q: “What’s your favorite part of being a surrogate?”
A: That moment when the parents meet their baby… nothing compares.

Q: “Do your kids understand what you’re doing?”
A: They do, and it’s pretty amazing watching them learn empathy and what helping others looks like.

Q: “Would you do it again?”
A: Already planning on it! 😄

I swear there’s a secret handbook somewhere because the questions are always the same lol

Alright, your turn:
What’s the funniest, weirdest, or sweetest question you’ve gotten about surrogacy?