My wife is currently 8 months pregnant and we’re both very excited.

My wife is American but I’m from Germany and circumcising my son was literally never something I considered for a second. Not only would my parents be disgusted by this but I also in no way want to do this.

My wife’s parents on the other hand are VERY pro circumcision and are really pressuring us to do it. We won’t and that’s final but it’s getting to the point where I feel like I don’t want them involved at all because of how they’re approaching this.

The first time they asked was around 3 weeks after we announced our pregnancy. We both told them our decision and they blew up and left the house.

About 6 months into our pregnancy it was discussed again and she claimed that uncircumcised penises are disgusting and that she will never change the diaper of a deformed baby (ironic Ik).

Her rambles about how men in her family are cut and have been for a hundred years disgust me and I quite frankly have no idea where this obsession is coming from.

I’ve never liked her but this is really taking the cake for her shitty behaviour. I’m so close to outright banning her from being there on the day because I can’t trust her to not do something rash. My father in law is kinda stuck in the middle of all this but he’s said some really gross stuff too.

I don’t know what to do here, my wife obviously wants her mom around but i genuinely don’t know if I can trust this woman around my child. She absolutely is capable of doing unforgivable stuff I just don’t know how to convey this.

I’m so glad to share my experience! I was 18 when I resolved my phimosis; it took me 1–2 months, and I had stage 3 phimosis (according to the index adopted in North America - and in this subreddit - it's the second worst phimosis type, the first one would be number 4, "pinhole phimosis"). If you’re interested in the idea behind this post, read on to the end.

On this subreddit (r/phimosis) you’ll find a lot of useful information and read of different experiences (we aren’t all the same, after all); I read many threads when I had the problem of phimosis. Anyway, I’ll tell you the basics you need to know, which are really THE ONLY THINGS THAT HELPED ME achieve the result.

First of all, many people will mention ‘steroid creams’; I’m not a doctor, so I don’t know whether they’re good or bad for you, but they seem unnecessary to me, and I’d personally avoid using them – stretching exercises were more than enough for me. Of course (and this applies to all the advice I’m about to give), we’re all different, so they might make a difference for some people; in any case, I would recommend starting without them, and if after a month or two you don’t notice any progress, you can, after doing some research, assess whether they might be useful. It seems to me that those creams should only be used in very specific cases, perhaps on a doctor’s advice; I know that they are generally used for redness or skin irritation, however.

Then, many will mention ‘phimosis rings’ (I believe one brand is ‘Phimocure’, for example…). These are rings of progressively increasing sizes; basically, the idea is that depending on how tight your phimosis is, you start with a ring that fits inside the foreskin to stretch it. When your skin stretches to the point where a ring no longer widens the foreskin, you move on to a wider one, and so on. It is exactly the same type of device used by those who want to significantly enlarge the holes in their earlobes for specific ring shaped earrings – you may have seen them before – and this is the principle on which the treatment of phimosis is based. The rings are quite expensive and many people find them difficult to use (they don’t stay in the right position, they hurt, they fall out, etc.), so they cannot be recommended as a suitable method for everyone. I personally haven’t used them myself.

This principle, which also underlies the use of rings, is the same one we’ll be applying in our exercises, and it’s simple: you pull on the skin to stretch it, and it stretches, adapting to the strain. It’s like training a muscle: you challenge it with increasingly heavier weights so that it adapts and grows; the skin works in the same way – it adapts too. If you’re interested, you can look into how the cells work, and so on.

The key point is this: don’t pull too hard when stretching; if you feel pain, stop. Instead, you should feel tension; you should feel the skin straining a little, but without severe pain. It’s like doing push-ups at the gym: you should feel your muscles working; after the push-ups, you feel the effort and sense the fatigue, but you do NOT feel any pain in your tendons, bones or elsewhere; if you do, it means you’ve done something wrong. It is, however, fine to feel your skin getting tired from the stretching, it means you worked well; this is what the rest periods are for whilst you’re stretching. Don’t do it for 20 minutes straight; stretch, and when you feel tired, don’t just reduce the force – let go of the foreskin and start again after a few seconds or minutes. In short, the important thing is to feel tension and, after a while, the skin becoming fatigued, but never ‘bad’ pain.

What worked for me

First of all, I HAD STAGE 3 PHIMOSIS (see image below: it’s not the most advanced stage – ‘pinhole phimosis’ – but it’s close).

Initially, I used a mobile app designed for HIIT fitness training. Basically, I set a timer for 3 minutes of stretching with 20 seconds’ rest; 2 mins of stretching plus 30 seconds’ rest made up one repetition, and I did 6–7 repetitions. So, 18–21 minutes of stretching in total, excluding rest. Now, this is a great method, you can use it, but I didn’t like it because I had to concentrate on the exercises; it felt like a tedious task, I almost felt obliged to do it…

So, this is what I did and what I highly recommend: every day, in the evening or the afternoon, I would sit at the computer (or on the sofa watching TV) watching a TV series, for about an hour in total, and do the exercises at the same time. So, I did much more stretching but at the same time I was watching a series and enjoying a good time; I actually enjoyed doing the exercises.

Basically, without using a timer, just keep the foreskin stretched for as long as you like (though at least a couple of minutes at a time, I’d say); when you feel too much strain, the skin is tired or anything else, then take a break for one, two or more minutes and start again when you feel ready (like doing sets of push-ups: when your arms are tired and you can’t go on any longer, you stop; when you feel rested, you do another set). This way, doing the exercises won’t be stressful; although you’ll need to pay attention at first to find the right position for your fingers (see below), it soon becomes quite automatic, as if you were playing with a stress ball whilst watching TV.

IMPORTANT POINTS (see the images below to understand how to do the exercises):

1. First of all, I suggest doing a bit of research into what phimosis is; it’s awful to read about doctors telling parents that their one-year-old son has phimosis, or about fourteen-year-olds who are 100% certain they have it because they can’t (yet) retract their foreskin. Wikipedia contains some useful information, such as the age at which one can start to say they have phimosis and how the foreskin develops (from when it is fused with the glans in early childhood onwards). Try to do your research and, if you have consulted a doctor, do not listen to them as if they were a disinterested guru speaking with the voice of ultimate truth. Always use common sense and make sure you are properly informed.
2. It’s very basic, but remember to wash your hands before doing the exercises if they’re dirty, and if your nails are causing you discomfort, trim them.
3. Every day, when you sit down and start the exercises, you’ll feel a bit of pain and it’ll hurt to stretch vigorously straight away. You need to start by pulling GENTLY, as if it were a warm-up, and then gradually increase the pressure until the skin is taut and properly stretched. Remember that it shouldn’t ‘hurt’, but you must feel the tension; you need to use some consistent force, otherwise the skin will never stretch.
4. After doing a lot of stretching, I couldn’t apply tension anymore because I was straining my arms (I know it sounds ridiculous, maybe I’m the only one, but I was applying force the wrong way, with my arms raised etc., so staying like that for tens of minutes each time tired my arms out) and I couldn’t keep going for long. SO, do this: you need to insert the tips of two fingers into the foreskin and pull outwards, keeping your fingertips pointing outwards; the secret is to press the knuckles of the two fingers against each other so that you can use them as a lever by pushing the knuckles against each other and thus apply force much more effectively.
5. Do the exercises with a flaccid penis. It’s not impossible to do them when it’s hard, but it’s definitely difficult, uncomfortable, etc. If your penis keeps getting hard, do ‘what you need to do’ and do the exercises a few hours later (from experience, shortly after masturbating I didn’t feel like doing the exercises at all and doing them caused me physical discomfort, so do the exercises without masturbating first or hours after masturbating if you couldn’t avoid doing so).
6. Given that you have phimosis, your glans (the head of the penis) has probably never come into contact with external surfaces (hands, water, etc.). Therefore, two things: a) it will be full of smegma, which isn’t harmful but is still best cleaned (like any other part of the body). Phimosis makes this very difficult, so if you see that whitish paste-like substance the first few times you start retracting the foreskin, don’t be alarmed; it’s normal and it also builds up on those without phimosis if they don’t wash for several days. It’s not a sign of infection or anything else. b) your glans, for the reason mentioned above, will be very sensitive; which means that the first few times you happen to touch it (accidentally or not) with your fingers, it will be uncomfortable, to a greater or lesser extent depending on how sensitive it is (they often call it hypersensitivity); this too is entirely physiological and normal; the sensitivity will decrease and set to normal, fine levels as you continue to touch it (even accidentally), wash it with shower water, etc.
7. Speaking of washing, try to avoid using soap, and if you do use it, use only intimate one; generally, water is more than enough. Soap can cause a stinging sensation (if it’s not suitable) or, if used frequently, it kills various beneficial bacteria that protect the genitals (these are present in both males and females; if you want to find out more, do some research).
8. (And speaking of water, bear in mind that many people suggest doing the exercises in a bath filled with hot water because the hot water opens and ‘softens’ the pores of the skin. I didn’t need to do this, but if you’re interested, ask someone who has tried it what their experience was.)
9. This is also important: you won’t be able to insert your fingers and position them correctly for the stretch if your penis and fingers are completely dry; to manage this, what I did at the start was to moisten my fingers with water (some people also use oil, but then it can be a hassle to wash off, it’s slippery, you get dirty, etc.). The problem, however, was that the water dried out quickly. SO, the best way (for me) was to moisten the tips of my fingers with saliva (saliva is more viscous than water and keeps the skin moist for longer and more effectively). This makes it very easy to insert your fingers inside the foreskin and position them correctly (see next point) to perform the exercises. The saliva will then dry out, but this will actually be helpful now, as dry fingers will slip less and, now that they are inside the foreskin in the correct position, it will be easier to keep them there. If you need to rest, remove them and wet them again when you start again.
10. Regarding the BEST POSITION FOR YOUR FINGERS: the ‘PHIMOTIC RING’ is the narrowest part of the foreskin (think of a foreskin with phimosis as an hourglass: the narrowest part of the hourglass is its phimotic ring), and is therefore the part that prevents you from retracting the foreskin. It is on that part of the skin that pressure should be concentrated; therefore, to place your fingers in the correct position, you must locate the ring (it is very easy, just give it a try) and position the centre of your fingertips on it. Generally speaking, you should position your fingers so that your fingertips point in opposite directions, with your knuckles pressed against each other, in order to apply pressure to the ‘phimosis ring’. Don’t forget to stretch beyond the phimosis ring as well (you may need to use your arms to push the knuckles apart to reach all the points), but it is the phimosis ring that causes most of the problem.
11. If you have (or have reached) a very low stage of phimosis (for example, stage 2, where you can almost retract the foreskin but not completely), you can ALSO try stretching by pulling the foreskin back (towards your body) as if you were retracting it, BUT be careful of paraphimosis: this is a risk you run AT EVERY STAGE OF PHIMOSIS if you try to retract the foreskin whilst the penis is erect OR before it becomes erect but then does become erect. With paraphimosis, the foreskin remains tight under the glans (head of the penis) like an elastic band, as if it were constricting it, and you can no longer cover the glans. This is DANGEROUS; it can cut off the blood supply to the head of the glans (even for just a few minutes) and cause SERIOUS PROBLEMS: so it is best to AVOID retracting the foreskin if you are not sure it is wide enough to slide back when your penis is erect, and, if you do retract it whilst the penis is flaccid, cover the glans immediately if you feel an erection coming on. IF PARAPHIMOSIS OCCURS, even if it hurts, try pressing on the glans and covering it with the foreskin, or apply plenty of ice to make the erection subside. In extreme cases, obviously seek medical help. (I have never experienced paraphimosis; you just need to take a minimum of care, but it is something to always bear in mind).
12. The exercises should be done EVERY DAY, unless they cause you significant discomfort – for example, because you are ill (flu or even foreskin infections can occur in certain cases, especially in younger men; in such cases, let it heal naturally, limiting yourself to rinsing it with water in the morning to keep it clean) or tired; in that case, you can take a break for one, two or three days. In any case, the skin stretches better if you do the exercises daily.
13. A problem sometimes encountered by those with phimosis is the ‘frenulum breve’; in this condition, the frenulum (a ‘string’ of skin located beneath the glans and connecting it to the foreskin; look online for images or diagrams to understand where it is and what it looks like) is slightly shortened, and therefore does not allow the foreskin to be fully retracted. HOWEVER, if you have it, you’ll usually only notice it after resolving the phimosis, which remains the most important thing to deal with first and foremost. It isn’t that common, and in any case, to resolve it, you simply need to do a specific stretching exercise (I didn’t need to do it myself, but see the image below for reference). If you want to avoid having to deal with it after resolving the phimosis and finding out you have frenulum breve, you can start doing the stretching exercise for the frenulum anyways (see image below; it’s really simple – you can even do it for just a few seconds every time you urinate) whilst doing the exercises for the phimosis. In any case, it’s up to you; just bear in mind that you should focus primarily on the phimosis and that ‘short frenulum’ can also be overcome with a very simple stretching exercise, which, as I said, you can do whenever you like without any special preparation.

So, to recap briefly (but do read all the suggestions I just wrote): - watch a TV series or a film (or YouTube, or listen to a CD, whatever you prefer, of course) every evening whilst doing the exercises. Stretch until the skin starts to feel uncomfortable, then rest for a few seconds or minutes and start again. Insert your dampened fingers and position them so as to apply pressure to the phimosis ring. Be careful of paraphimosis. Do the exercises when the penis is flaccid; if it keeps getting hard, try again a few hours later or masturbate and then try again a few hours later.

I resolved my problem in 1–2 months by doing the exercises every evening (apart from a few days’ rest for various reasons), often at other times of the day too, and I even enjoyed it, to some extent, seeing the daily progress. If you’re young, the skin adapts better and you’ll make faster progress. You can use an app to keep track of your progress and stay motivated.

 

It’s all about doing something very simple to improve your life. Be consistent and you’ll be just as successful as I’ve been. Start TODAY!

 

Useful pictures

How to do the exercises (images from the WikiHow website, see note below):

1 – If the foreskin is too tight and you cannot insert your fingers, simply pull on the upper edges; this does not effectively engage the phimosis ring but widens the foreskin so that you can insert your fingers and perform the exercises in the correct position.

IF YOU HAVE PINHOLE PHIMOSIS, many people suggest inserting two cotton swabs into the foreskin instead of your fingers. However, you can also simply try pulling with your fingers from the outside, as shown in the image.

PICTURE 1 | https://www.wikihow.com/Do-Phimosis-Stretching#/Image:Do-Phimosis-Stretching-Step-2.jpg

 2 – If you can insert your fingers, however, do so and focus on the phimotic ring. The position shown in the image is merely illustrative and schematic. I recommend resting your knuckles against one another, as in step 1, and then spreading your fingers by using your knuckles as a lever (see explanation above); furthermore, DO NOT try to copy the image exactly; you must insert your fingers deeper if your frenulum is lower down (this depends on you, depending on where the frenulum is on your foreskin and also on how long the foreskin is).

https://preview.redd.it/bzd6t306nr0h1.png?width=904&format=png&auto=webp&s=42f6d8bd2f4be92513a71621ebcfed1a12ae41a3

3 – (If you stretch it incorrectly or have dirty fingers, you may develop an infection; it’s not serious, and it can happen even to those without phimosis for various reasons, but if it does happen, you should obviously wait a few days for it to heal on its own, perhaps rinsing the foreskin daily. In rarer and particularly serious cases, you should, of course, contact your doctor).

PICTURE 3 | https://www.wikihow.com/Do-Phimosis-Stretching#/Image:Do-Phimosis-Stretching-Step-14.jpg

4 – If you have a ‘short frenulum’, you can try this very simple exercise:

PICTURE 4 | https://www.wikihow.com/Do-Phimosis-Stretching#/Image:Do-Phimosis-Stretching-Step-4.jpg

Images taken from WikiHow as they are quite useful for showing the basic hand position. However, do NOT simply try to copy the images; follow my tips to find your phimotic ring and get into the position that works best for you.

Warning: I strongly advise against following the advice to use products such as steroid creams; try for at least a month or two (or even three or four, depending on your age, how much stretching you do, etc.) before resorting to doctors or such remedies; remember that quick fixes are often harmful or ‘snake oil’. Finally, if you wish to resort to circumcision as recommended in the article, bear in mind that it comes with MANY disadvantages and discomforts, so remember that it is ONLY a LAST RESORT. It’s up to you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S.: This post may be updated if you suggest useful, constructive tips, or anything else. If I said any stupid things please let me know. Sorry if I had to link the images instead of inserting them but Reddit/this subreddit wouldn't allow me to insert more than one picture.
If you want to print it out, it worked very well for me and I’d like you to give it a go; and then, instead of spending hours or days searching for explanations on how to resolve phimosis, get started!

I wrote this post because someone asked me for advice in private messages on Reddit after reading that I’d resolved my phimosis problem.

Actually, the reason I did this rather than replying privately is that I mainly wanted to provide a fairly accurate description of the methods and tips that helped me resolve my problem, and to offer a good starting point for anyone who, like the person who contacted me, doesn’t know how the exercises work or needs advice, or for those who read about the many experiences of different people (from rings to steroid creams, from eighteen-year-olds to sixty-year-olds with specific medical conditions) and want to hear from someone who has taken the time to talk properly and in some depth about their experience and what they’ve learnt after actually achieving the result that everyone here is aiming for.

I would also like to thank this Reddit community, which not only helped me discover that I had phimosis and understand what it is, but also accompanied me for a short period of my life, helping me to improve it.

I have a friend who recently had a son and he had him circumcised shortly after he was born and I found out about it through a phone conversation with a mutual friend where he said that he played a part in convincing him to circumcise his son and how if he had a son he would probably do it to him too because he says he's circumcised and he is fine (typical).

I'm intact and I know the loss that circumcision has on a person and obviously they are ignorant of it because they both are circumcised.

Ever since I found out that my friend circumcised his son, I've basically been ghosting them because I just have a hard time being friends with someone who would do that to a child and I've known them for like over 10 years now, whenever I think of them I just think of disgusting monsters.

30 from the US here, and I was on the wrestling team in high school. I was the only uncut guy on my team in a very white suburb lol

I got a few comments and questions from friends on my team about it, but mostly just noticed guys staring at it in the showers haha

Anyone else have the same experience?

Feel free to send a chat too if you want

Growing up, did anyone else question whether they were actually cut or intact?

My parents always told me I was circumcised, but honestly I’m not convinced they really know what they’re talking about. When I’m soft, I’m mostly covered except for the urethra unless it’s cold outside. But when I’m hard, the head is exposed and I still have some movable skin to play with.

I’ve gone down internet rabbit holes trying to figure it out, and now I’m more confused than before. I feel like I’m somewhere in between what people describe as “cut” and “intact.”

Is anyone else in the same boat? Am I overthinking this or should I actually ask a doctor or something?

I‘m uncircumcised and wanted to ask if other uncut guys also feel the same or a similar way. My foreskin completely covers my head and even when I‘m hard. I don’t have phimosis I can retract it. Does anyone else not feel fully nude unless their foreskin is retracted. I feel totally different walking around with my foreskin back and my head exposed than just leaving it forward.

Guys, you uncircumcised men, do you usually wash your foreskin? I've noticed that after many months of letting my bush grow, it's been awakening peculiar urges in me, like smegma buildup, golden showers, and a dirty penis without washing it.

i went through a frenuloplasty operation couple months ago. ask me anything!

My wife and I decided not to circumcise our boys even though I am. That said, I don’t know anything about having an uncircumcised penis or what to teach my boys about it. One is 8, one is 4. My biggest question involves peeing while standing. They only pee while sitting down right now but I need them to be able to stand for practical purposes. My 8 year old tried to pee outside and soaked his underwear that were down at his ankles. So do you pull your foreskin back when you pee? If so, How far do you pull it back? Do you pull it back in the shower to clean it? Should my 8 year old be pulling his back in the shower yet?

This is super random, and probably a dumb question, but I was at a nude beach recently and it got me curious.

For intact guys that tan naked, do you get a tan line where you pull your foreskin back? Do you tan with it retracted to even it out?

It seems like a lot of people are confused about the skin.

I went to the doctor a few days ago and he checked there, he said I have phimosis and if I want I can get cut. The thing is that I know I don’t have that, my foreskin is pretty loose. Should I just ignore him or ask him if he’s sure (I have to go back anyways)

I remember having some overhang but that went away when my foreskin separated from the head during puberty. However I do see several adults with a decent amount of overhang or at least full coverage albeit when soft. What has your experience been?

im a 21 year old male and im currently trying to find a solution to my balanitis ive had it for about I think 2 months first it started off as a yeast infection with an itch and redness on my shaft and ive went to a urgent care they gave me some cream (clotrimazole 1%) I’ve used it for about 2 weeks from the first time I left the urgent care and I haven’t seen any improvement it would just keep coming back after I stopped using it and I don’t use any shampoo or soaps on my shaft or head of my penis as I’ve read online and what the doctors have told me. So the second time I went to a urgent care they gave me 3 pills of Fluconazole and Clotrimazole and Betamethasone Dipropionate Cream and it would stop the itch and heal the redness but after I thought it was healed for about 2 weeks it came back after I stopped using the cream and I went to a urologist about what I can do to fix it and he straight up told me it was balanitis and would have to be circumcised for it to permanently go away but I’m still wanting to find out if there’s anyway I can fix it without being circumcised but I’ve seen ups and downs of people saying it’s fixed there balanitis and some say it’s just not worth it. Also I’d like to know how would it come back if I’ve always used shampoo and soaps to clean my self way before I had this balanitis and yeast infection I’m not a doctor but to me it doesn’t make any sense how now since I’ve got it balanitis using these soaps would make it come back. I hope I’m able to find a solution this is bothering me mentally and I just want to feel normal again

Uncut white 30 year old here from the US

I grew up in a very preppy white suburb and was on the wrestling team in high school.

I was the only uncut guy on our team and in my friend group other than the few Latino guys at our school.

Did anyone else have a similar experience? Or feel free to send me a chat if anyone wants to