r/u_ParsleyVisible5516

Hey all I’m using a throwaway account. I am having an issue at work and I’m not sure how to deal with it. I don’t wanna go to HR or my manager about it. Basically I (34f) have a lesbian coworker (32f). I promise this detail is relevant. Basically we’ve been working together for about four years now and we are both married. I am married to a man and I am heterosexual and my coworker is married to a woman and she is completely gay. We have been Work friends For about three years, but things lately have been taking a turn for the worse. And now I feel extra uncomfortable around her. She basically confessed to me that she had a crush on me and that happened about one month after one of my family members died. During the time when that family member died, my coworker decided to google the obituary of my family member and then she proceeded to watch the funeral online through the link provided in the obituary. I did not send her the obituary and I did not invite her to the funeral. I purposely told everyone at work that I do not want any of them showing up to the funeral. She has a tendency to feel entitled to other people‘s personal information and she pays for one of those websites where you can look up people either Spokeo or fast people search. She pays for a membership and she frequently does all these weird deep dives on different coworkers Looking up where they live with their mortgage payment is etc. etc. it’s pretty creepy. She also was Facebook stalking my sister and liking my sister‘s post and then commenting about my sister to me. I did not invite her to do this and I was not happy about it because I’m actually a very private person. Lately I decided to distance myself from her because she is just creeping me out with how she feels entitled to my personal life and her confessing her crush on me didn’t make anything better. We’re both married and she knows I’m straight so I’m not sure what her goal was with confessing her crush on me. Also, when I kept reiterating to her that I am straight and not interested in women, she kind of gaslighted me and was saying “I’m sorry that my preference makes you uncomfortable.” I’m really not sure what to do. I don’t wanna go to HR and I don’t wanna go to my manager. In the past when I’ve had to go to HR nothing ever comes of it and our HR department is kind of useless. I don’t know what else to doabout this situation and I don’t know how to get my information off the Internet so she can stop stalking me. One of the other coworkers told me that last week this lesbian coworker was asking her why am I acting weird and distant.