r/sadstories

I’m looking for advice on how to move on from losing this person.

It during November 2023.
I met this girl on Instagram. (19 Female)
She discovered a band page of mine full of videos of me and my cousin playing a bunch of KISS songs etc on that page and she was a huge fan of Kiss.
She followed it. I then DM’d that person.
I introduced myself and we talked about Kiss songs and other kinds of music etc.
We then started video chatting each other on instagram.

We became closest of friends.
She happened to be the greatest friend I’ve ever had.
She loved my music, she loved my singing.

We then texted and video chatted each other every day for almost a year.
Until around December, she flew out of the country to visit her family to grieve her dead dog.
I stopped hearing from her for a several weeks.
She stopped answering my texts.
I started worrying about her.
I then made the stupidest mistake I ever made.

I messaged her mother on Facebook, introducing myself to her, letting her know I’m close friends with her daughter.
And that was when I destroyed the friendship altogether without realizing it.

I didn’t know it was a red flag to contact their family member. I didn’t know any better.

That was when she stopped answering my texts and calls altogether.
She wanted nothing to do with me because of one mistake I didn’t know I made.

I tried calling her off and on until until one day her mother contacts me on messenger telling me to back off and leave her alone.

That was when I realized I screwed up bad.

Two years have passed. She still wants nothing to do me.

I even met other girls after her just to try and move on from her.

But none of them were even close to her or couldn’t help get my mind off her at all.

No matter how much time I take to heal, it just comes back to haunt me.

I just want her to be friends with me again and trust that I’ll do better. And I will.

I don’t know how to recover from this.

Any advice?

TL;DR

Comment below

For me, when I was in elementary school my friend got hit by a car and died 😞

I went through a really intense emotional phase in college (first time feeling something this deep for someone). It started as kind of an “enemy to something more” dynamic, and over time I ended up getting her pretty attached to me.

Then when things were about to get real, I wasn’t ready.

At the same time I had other stuff going on (another situationship ending terribly, family stress, Placement etc), and I developed pretty bad anxiety. Instead of handling it like a man, I just avoided everything.

I didn’t communicate properly, didn’t give her clarity, didn’t even end things properly. I just kind of disappeared emotionally, ghosted her.

So now it doesn’t feel like I “lost her.”

It feels like I messed it up myself.

It’s been 3 years. She’s probably moved on (I think she has a boyfriend now).

But I’m still stuck in that phase mentally.

I keep replaying everything, thinking what I should’ve done differently. My confidence dropped a lot, and I don’t trust my own decisions anymore, especially with girls.

Also being honest — I sometimes check her profile from time to time, and it makes me feel like she’d probably just be angry at me if she knew how I handled things.

Big Part of me wants to apologize, not to get her back, just to fix that unfinished feeling.

But I don’t know if that’s genuine or just me trying to reduce guilt.

Has anyone else screwed something up like this and stayed stuck for years?

How do you actually move on when you know it was your fault?

A 17 year old asks his dad what he will get for his 18th birthday, his dad has no answer.

A month later, the boy collapsed and was rushed to the hospital. His dad was told by a nurse that his heart was failing, he might not make it.

A week later, the boy recovered. Now 18, he went back to his house and found a letter from his dad that said:

"If you're reading this, than you're recovered, Remember when you asked me what you were going to get for your 18th birthday? Well, I gave you my heart."