r/pregnantover35

Been with SO 3 months, on mini pill for 6 months. I've been feeling really sick and bloated last week and decided to do a pregnancy test, which came back positive. I tested four more times over four days, all positive.

Boyfriend is sweet, we have good chemistry and treats me with kindness but we still don't know each other that well. He has always been scared of unplanned pregnancy and every now and then checks that I take my BC on time (only contraception we use), which I do religiously. The only possible error I can think of was when we got really drunk and I threw up repeatedly the next day but it was three hours after taking the pill which is right on the border and the information I found said that it takes about 3 hours to get absorbed, so I assumed it wouldn't count as a missed pill. I was wondering if I should take plan B but I thought it is unnecessary. I am so angry with myself for not doing that. I am so scared, scared of ending the pregnancy, scared of continuing, scared of telling my boyfriend, scared of being tied to a man I barely know (I am also just out of a long term relationship and finally starting to enjoy living by myself). I don't even know how to break the news to him, he will be absolutely terrified and probably angry. I've been absolutely paralysed with anxiety since finding out 6 days ago. A small part of me is curious about this new chapter. Strangely, I am more scared of telling him and forcing the relationship to advance than the actual baby aspect. I was previously in a toxic relationship and all the bad stuff started happening after moving in and I am really not looking forward to living with a partner again.

Because I had so much pain my doctor referred me to do a scan. Up until the scan I was hoping it was ectopic or not developing, but today at the scan I found out I'm 5 weeks along, and the pregnancy is intrauterine and progressing normally.

Financially we are both stable and this would not destroy my life or my career. I've always wanted children but this is not how I want to start a family. I worry that I will regret either choice I make. I can't stop crying because I don't know what to do and how to tell him.

I have become unexpectedly pregnant at 37 years old. Please don’t give me the third degree about how babies are made. I know and accidents happen.

I don’t know how to navigate my feelings. I was at peace with my family being complete and very content with where I am in life right now.

I have always been pro choice however now I feel myself in this position I don’t know if I can go through with an abortion.

Any advice welcome from women in their late 30’s who have found themselves in my position?

Hello,

I'm 40 years old. I had a miscarriage with a D&C three weeks ago at 10 weeks.

I still haven't had my period, and my HCG level was 97 last week.

I'd like to try again, but I'd like to know if any of you have managed to conceive after a D&C without a period returning, and close to 10 weeks of miscarriage.

I've read some accounts, but they were about earlier miscarriages than mine and younger women.

Thank you.

25 WEEKS pregnant! I am low key freaking out because yesterday I got results I am boarderline anemic, now I have BV- they gave me medications. Has anyone gone through this and had successful babies? I see things online for pre-term etc which is just making me sick to my stomach. Send me your stories! Thanks so much

36 and found I was pregnant yesterday. I have had 2 miscarriages 5yrs ago 6 weeks and 9 weeks. The pain was unbearable and I was going to accept another route maybe fostering or adoption due to my age. I feel blessed and absolutely terrified.

I’m currently 5weeks 2days, I live 400 miles away from family and I only have a couple friends 🫂 I will find comfort in your stories 💜

positive energy and prayers welcome 🥹 thank you much 🫂💜💜!!!

38, first pregnancy, waiting to tell family until after NIPT. At my initial OB consult, my doc said week 9, but I’m learning that’s the earliest as there may not be enough genetic matter to give a result. For this reason, they suggest 10 weeks. We have an opportunity to see family about 7 days after that mark and it’d be perfect to share our news then. Wondering if you did NIPT at 9 or 10 and how quickly you got your results back? Ty for your time and love to you all

Hey y’all. I just had my first scan at 8 weeks and all was great Thank God. Baby measured perfect and heartbeat was 170! The nurse did tell me i will need baby aspirin from week 12-16 due to my Age. Did it happen to anyone? Thanks.

I am approximately 7 weeks pregnant with my first pregnancy. The problem is I just finished a PhD and am unemployed in a country where I am not yet fluent in the language yet. My husband has pulled out $70k (most of it was for taking care of us financially) for our wedding and for me to be able to finish the PhD. Although I have been living here for the past two years, I won’t receive the normal benefits of someone who has worked here. For example, people receive between 65-80% of their monthly paycheck for parental leave, but since I haven't worked here, I will only receive the base of €300 per month for up to a year. On top of this, we will receive €250 per month from the government until the child reaches 18 or finishes college, as long as they live with us and we’re in the country.

I’m still looking for a job, but the fact that my language skills are not up to a business level has made it extremely difficult. Being pregnant will make it that much harder, as pregnant women get extremely good legal protections here. I’ve applied to over 200 jobs and have only received 4 interviews. In addition, our parents are back in the U.S., so we will not have free help whenever we want. However, I know that my mom would come for 3 months at a time (the length of her tourist visa) to help whenever she could.

My husband is convinced we will need to move back home for help and that he will have to quit his postdoc work, which could otherwise lead him to a professorship. I disagree and think that our child should at least first get the right to German citizenship, and that we could live off of very little if we optimized our budget. I am not willing to move back home, as this environment is ideal for raising a child: it is safe, there’s plenty of social support, and life is built with children in mind. Our child would have everything they need growing up, including free education. If I can’t find a job, staying might be harder, but I think my husband will eventually see the benefits of staying; right now, I feel his stance is just a panic response to get me to abort. I also have about $100k of student debt back home that I have been unable to pay. Moving back home would not be ideal.

My husband is naturally responding to the fear and the fact that he has already graciously taken care of us for the last two years while I finished school. While I understand this, I don’t know how easy it will be to get pregnant again since I have PCOS and thought I couldn’t get pregnant at all. I believe that these financial difficulties are just temporary. I’m still looking for a job and am sure I will eventually find one.

Did you have trouble getting your husband on board? How did you get him to see that the hardship was temporary but the abortion could be permanent to you? I understand his worries and am not minimizing them, but I do see that letting go of this choice could have permanent consequences. I really want to be a mother. I feel selfish asking for this though given how much my husband has given up of his own savings (that he made prior to knowing me). Since getting pregnant, I have had worries about my own career, but I have mostly been happy and grateful that my body can do this except for when thinking about abortion. I do not want an abortion but also want my husband to be on board without backing him into a corner.

I found out last week that I am pregnant! I am 35 years old and have always wanted to be a mother but wasnt sure if it was in the cards for me or not. Now that I am pregnant I am really worried about having a healthy baby, I hadn't been eating very healthy and would've prepared my body more had I planned for this. I worry about my egg quality and that being older and not eating healthy will cause my baby to have genetic issues. Would love to hear experiences that may be similar to mine!

Hi all

First U/S yesterday. Measured intrauterine with yolk sac 6w 1d and a SCB (hemotoma). They want me to go back in 2 weeks but my issue is my LMP was 5/3/26 , I only had sex on 5/20 5/22 5/23 and 5/24 with a positive test on 5/31. I feel like there’s no chance this is viable.

Any similar experiences or anyone who can confirm via my dating that I am not wrong to think this is too far behind and probably has stopped advancing.

As the title says, I have suffered secondary infertility since my son’s birth 11 years ago (basically 12 as he’s 12 on Monday) . I’ve never came close to being pregnant again until Monday. I realised I had been having cramps for a few days and thought my period was coming, I usually have 28-32 day cycles and was cd30 and decided to do a test on a whim, it never crossed my mind it would be positive so imagine my shock when it was, my lines got darker on Tuesday and Wednesday but yesterday and today’s are slightly lighter. The cramp I was having is also gone. It feels like a sick joke. I’m 4 weeks 5 days and just waiting for the bleeding to start.

Has anyone else been through this or similar. I don’t know what to do next.

Well, I haven’t told anyone except my husband yet, but we finally conceived…the month after my uterine polyp removal. I am 39 and a year ago my AMH was at 0.5. We started trying immediately after that test. Had a chemical the 2nd cycle we tried. Then tried for another 6 months before deciding to have a polypectomy. Shockingly, we conceived the very next cycle. I’m 6 weeks and 2 days and having all kinds of pregnancy symptoms I’ve never experienced before, like lots of nausea and fatigue and sore breasts. However yesterday morning, I had a scary bleed. I thought I was miscarrying again. I went to the hospital and turns out I have a small subchorionic fluid collection (7.4 × 4 mm). It will hopefully resolve on its own but also carries a small chance of miscarriage. The good news is, I saw the gestational sac and embryo on the ultrasound for the first time in my life and there was already evidence of a heartbeat at 6 weeks!! I’m actually glad I experienced the bleed yesterday, because now I know it’s possible to bleed during pregnancy without miscarrying. I won’t absolutely freak out next time I see blood. The blood actually turned brown by the end of the day and totally came to a halt. It was an interesting experience. No pain or cramping at all. I’ll keep you all updated about how this pregnancy progresses. I don’t have my hopes up yet, although I have discussed with my little angel that I hope they are able to stay this time.

I have been prescribed Adderall for years. I am on a pretty low dose 10mg per day (anything more messes with my sleep). I also don’t take it on the weekends. I have two kids and both pregnancies I went off it cold turkey. And I was fine, I definitely struggled to be productive but I had a pretty good handle on my job both times and was actually living with my mom while I was pregnant with my second (we were renovating our home) and she did everything for us cooked cleaned did laundry etc so life was easy.

In November, I got pregnant with what would have been my third. I stopped the Adderall and it was a disaster. I’m in a much more demanding job now and I commute into NYC 2-3x per week. I was just in a bad spiral November December and January of not being able to get anything done around the house and I was not performing well in my job (I had to disclose my pregnancy earlier than planned because my boss was asking me what was going on). It was causing me horrible anxiety. I also felt like a horrible mom, my kids are 2 and 4 and while I was pregnant and spiraling I felt like I wasn’t the happy mom they are used to. I felt paralyzed and yet I had a laundry list of things that needed to get done and I couldn’t do them. I ended up having a MMC mid January at 11.5 (which was extremely traumatic - a story for another time). As soon as I healed I started my medication again and it was like my whole life turned back around. I felt happier and like I could actually do things again.

All this to say, I’m terrified of going off Adderall if I get pregnant again. Some people have said to talk to the doctor and maybe he will keep me on a low dose, but I feel horrible taking it knowing it’s not recommended. I really want to have another baby, that’s priority. But I have been putting off getting pregnant again because I don’t want to go through that really dark time again. Probably something to talk to my therapist about but wanted to share and see if anyone has gone through this or has thoughts.

Well, I was very happy to find out I was pregnant. I am 38 years old, and this was my first pregnancy ever. We got pregnant on our second try, so we were pretty happy. Unfortunately, I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks and 2 days, after seeing a heartbeat at my very first scan at 7 weeks. I actually was just told 2 days ago.
I am now waiting to decide on my options going forward, since I haven’t miscarry yet. but my only worry is that all of my remaining eggs have issues… which is what the fertility clinic has made me scared of. (I understand they want money too , but they made me very scared of my age )I’m just here because I’m looking for hope, and to see if anyone who had a similar experience ended up having a healthy baby. Please note that I’ll be 39 soon, so this loss feels especially cruel, and of course I’m just here now wondering and thinking of the worst

I’ve literally only known I’m pregnant for 2 days and I’m worried sick already.

Bit of backstory I had my son 12 years ago and have suffered secondary infertility ever since. I was about to start fertility testing with my current partner of 4.5 years and noticed i had been getting cramp since 4-5 days ago, my cycles are 28-32 days but they tend to come mostly on cd 28, it was cd 30 so I took a test not expecting anything, but a second line popped up, since then I’ve done multiple tests checking for progression (there is some) but I’m still worried sick, I had a chemical pregnancy before I had my son and I can’t stop thinking about it happening again, or just anything bad happening in general.

It’s weird because even though we were going for fertility testing I had already sort of came to terms with the fact I probably wouldn’t have more kids, to then randomly fall pregnant naturally before our testing, honestly my heads in a spin.

I’m trying to keep busy to avoid taking multiple pregnancy tests a day, my partners so excited and while I am, I’m not matching his excitement and he’s probably picking up on it, but it’s because I’m so scared somethings going to get wrong and it’s going to get taken away.

I want to download a pregnancy app etc but at the same time I don’t incase I’m jinxing things.

I also think I’m in a bit of denial about it.

FTM. 39F. 17.5 weeks along now. Last night, I woke up at 4am with the worst case of the spins. I messaged my OB’s nurse and she says I need to stop sleeping on my back since it was likely caused by pressure from my uterus that could have been reducing blood flow. When did you stop sleeping on your back?

I’m 36, and already have a 12 and 9 year old. Divorced and dating an AMAZING man, and the idea of having a baby together is on the table once we are married. So we are possibly looking at in the next 2-3 years.

I worry about the age gap between my current kids and future baby, and also “starting over” as a mom at nearly 40. Anyone here been through/going through something similar?

Hi everyone, I’m 38 and currently 4w6d based on LMP. Apart from occasional headaches (which could just be dehydration) and some intermittent lower abdominal sensations, I’m hardly having any symptoms. Some days I feel nothing at all.
This is my third pregnancy overall, but my first was almost a decade ago, so I honestly don’t remember what early pregnancy felt like. I also had a second-trimester loss last year, which has made me extra anxious this time around.
I know symptoms (or lack thereof) don’t necessarily mean anything, but I’m feeling a little panicky while waiting for my first ultrasound at 7w2d.
Anyone around 4–5 weeks and not experiencing many symptoms? When did your symptoms start, if at all? What symptoms to expect in the next few weeks
Thanks ❤️

So every couple days there’s a time in the day where my baby is down low in my abdomen and it’s like a small vibratory movement kinda between a kick and a stretch but it happens every 2 seconds like very methodical for about 5-10 min.

It really freaks me out it’s possible that it could be hiccups but when my son had them it was like super obvious idk

Does anyone else feel this???