r/okmatewanker

Two timing bitch! Tinder is dead to me.

Had a brief interlude between Teams calls when working from home in my role as a strategic advisor to the cheese industry, when I thought I could pop to the local Marks and Sparks to pick up some inoffensive knitwear. My fold-up bike was folded-up so I put on my favourite gilet, jumped in the wife's mini SUV, loaded up my favourite Rory Stewart podcast, and set off for the retail park. "Do I fancy navy blue, or grey" I thought to myself, whilst driving under the speed limit and giving a minimum 10m gap to any cyclists that I shared the road with. Luckily this Sparkies also has an M&S food, better voice note the wife to see what ethnicity of food we're having this evening. I buy my wears, shame I can't leave a tip as the foreign lady at the counter was very polite. "we're having spag bol" the missus replies back - excellent, I can grab some alcohol free peroni while I'm out (I know it's Friday but I need to be fresh for the park run in the morning). Gosh I love my life as a centrist dad, my only regret is that I pay too little in tax. Quick pit stop for a latte from the drive through Costa, need to get back for the 2pm call.

What's your favourite part of being a centrist dad? Is it the moral superiority for never having too strong an opinion? Or the middle class sensibility to invest in the right cash ISA to see the kids through Uni?