I'm sorry if this is not a good place to post to and if not please let me know where I could.
So I'm freaking out as per the title and need an outside opinion. I've also never really posted to reddit so bare with me.
I'm a 26F artist from a very small town and I've been trying to get into professional mural painting full time. I have a few murals under my belt. Some small scale, one large scale (not of my design) but not a whole lot right now. I've been getting really frustrated trying to figure it all out on my own and trying to find opportunities. I've been putting in application after application for and been running into expensive mentorships that cost 10 grand or more, emerging artist opportunities with the age limits of 24, multiple rejection letters, and so on.
So I stumbled upon an apprenticeship that pays $1000 and I applied for what I thought was a week or 2. It's halfway across the country, so I figured the money would basically pay for a plane ticket and some lodging. I have some savings that I was prepared to dish out a little extra if needed for food and such. Well I got a call today that I got accepted. She gave me a mini interview basically and told her I was willing to travel. But I find out that it's a month-long instead of the initial week or two long that I thought, and they want me to fly out/start in the next few days.
In the moment I was so excited that I got accepted that all I could really say was thank you. She told me I need to let her know if I can make it by the end of day today and I said okay. I did some some quick shopping around of what it would cost and it's way out of my budget. Almost triple what I was prepared for. I don't even have the money in my account. I don't even know if I'd have time to take out a personal loan, which I don't want to do. I'm also kinda mad it's so last minute. I think I know I should say no, but I'm just having a hard time with the fact. I'll either call or email them back and say no thank you.
I've been wanting to travel, learn, and have some guidance and feel like I've been working so hard to get there and I'm afraid if I say no it'll not only look bad on me but I'll be throwing away a good opportunity. So I guess what I'm asking for is someone to give me a slap in the face and help me in the right direction.
I know this is super long winded, thanks for reading.