I was carrying the emotional load and didn't know it.
I spent a long time being overwhelmed and thinking I was bad at managing my life and my family's. Looking back, I was the one remembering everything for everyone, keeping track of everyone's needs. Managing emotions. Cheering up, smoothing things over. I didn't question it. I thought that's how it was for women. I thought that I was being a good partner.
It took complete burnout for me to blow up my life and marriage in the most insane way. One day I decided things were never going to change and I asked for a divorce. Problem was I never gave him a chance to fix things. I left and let him deal with everything that I had been doing for years. He came back to me and acknowledged all I had been doing all these years and promised to take care of me like he was meant to from the beginning. We will see but I am open to giving him that opportunity.
Anyone here just learning of the term emotional load? I finally have the language for it! Yes! That is what it was! I am not crazy!