r/longform

Chris Gifford, 21, was nearly killed by his 7-foot green mamba in Raleigh, NC, in 2021. Exotic snakebites are rare, just 57 from nonnative species in 2024, but deadly. Zoos and the Antivenom Index supply life-saving antivenom, often via helicopter, bridging gaps in U.S. medical readiness.

CitriniResearch’s raison d’etre is taking complex topics of interest for investors and explaining them in a way that’s intuitive. That’s why our work spans so many asset classes, and it’s why sometimes we write in-depth sector primers, macroeconomic missives and, occasionally, hypothetical scenarios that result in us receiving death threats (only semi-credible ones).

Talking about something confusing is what gets us excited. It’s also where great investment ideas are born.

The situation in the Strait of Hormuz is nothing if not confusing right now. So, CitriniResearch sent our incredibly capable field analyst – dubbed Analyst #3 in order to avoid emotional attachment – on assignment to the Strait of Hormuz. Armed with a fluency in four languages including Arabic, a Pelican case full of equipment, a pack of Cuban cigars, $15,000 in cash and a roll of Zyn, #3 set out to fulfill the itinerary we’d planned in our Manhattan offices the week prior.

We figured we’d leave with an impression that was basically “The strait was closed or open.” We also were quite aware that the trip might be a flop and we would learn nothing at all. However, we came away with a much more nuanced understanding of the current environment and the transition to a multipolar world.

If David Foster Wallace were alive today, he’d be reporting from the bar in a beachside town on the Omani coast– taking notes on a napkin about the particular quality of silence in a hundred-room hotel with three guests, watching tankers drift towards, but never quite reach, the Strait of Hormuz. That’s our inspiration here, if DFW was also concerned with finding alpha.

This is a story about the most consequential place on Earth right now — the fifty-four-mile passage between Iran and Oman through which the global economy flows, or doesn’t. There was no shortage of alpha on the Strait, including concrete information on the new rules, being written as we speak, on how the Iranian Revolutionary Guard is deciding who can, and can’t, pass.

Analyst #3 decided – against the counsel of an Omani border agent, the implicit counsel of God, and the extremely explicit counsel of two Coast Guard officers holding assault rifles – that he was going to the center of the most consequential waterway on earth, during a live war, in a speedboat with no GPS, captained by a man he met three hours ago at a port inlet by pulling out a wad of cash. For investment research purposes.

Here’s the story.

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