r/japanresidents

Dealing with bullies in school

Kinda knew this day would come, and the way I dealt with bullies when I was a kid isn't exactly kosher here so I'm asking the JapanResidents community for input here.

Our kid just started elementary school. Neither me nor my wife are Japanese, but he looks "ha-fu". He went to a 認可 kindergarten for 4 years being the only non-Japanese kid for all 4 years. He speaks Japanese at roughly the same level as his peers, but he does have some difficulties expressing his feelings in all three languages that he speaks.

While we've done our best to make sure he doesn't have prejudice, it's hard growing up around Japanese kids (and parents, let's be honest) that drill it into their kids' heads that "pink is for girls, blue is for boys, dolls are for girls, cars are for boys" etc. I say this because:

We recently went to a pop-up thrift store and found a ton of super cheap clothes. One of these was a black zip-up hoodie with mickey mouse on it. He loves it. It's super-comfy, and he thinks it's cool because he likes black and red. The hood itself has 2 ears on it, but since they're black too and he never wears it with the hoodie up, they're barely visible. He liked it, so we bought it, he was super happy to have new clothes for the new school year.

He has two other boys in his class that initially he said were friends. When he wears the hoodie, these guys call him "mickey". Initially I didn't think much of it since, you know, he has mickey mouse on his shirt and so they're probably just saying that because they see mickey and react to it. Turns out they are calling my kid mickey. He says he told them to stop calling him that because he doesn't like that. They don't stop and keep doing it. So while the comment itself is fairly innocuous it's the fact that he does not like them calling him mickey, that he tells them to stop, and that they keep doing it regardless, is the issue.

This morning he was crying because he put on the shirt and then realised his "friends" will make fun of him for wearing it. I tried telling him that the only thing that matters is what he wants and likes, that if he likes the shirt that's all that matters, that he looks cool wearing it, etc. I gave him some pointers on how to tell his friends that they should stop but he's 6, it's not exactly easy to have that level of self confidence when they don't respect your wishes.

Telling him to ignore them isn't exactly a solution. Going to the teacher perhaps would be a solution? When I was in elementary my strategy was to find something they didn't like being called and doubling down on being twice as much of an asshat back, which worked but it's going to make him cynical like me, and I don't want that.

What would you do in this situation? The issue isn't being called "mickey", it's that his friends don't respect him telling them "no". I want to squash this now before it escalates, but I also don't want to make a mountain out of a disney hill.

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u/Particular-Solid8250 — 4 hours ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 75 r/japanresidents+1 crossposts

Cool bed project we did for a client in Tokyo

Client in Tokyo wanted a custom bed with drawers on the end - Its designed to take tatami matts aswell hence the 15mm lip around the perimter.
We added hinges and handles to allow them to store stuff in the main body of the bed aswell.

They are stoked!

u/Factory-Chad — 4 hours ago

Category 1 Visa Renewal Question

People who renew their visa under category 1, did you submit additional documents aside from the renewal application form, picture, documents proving the company is under category 1, residence card, and passport? If yes, what other documents did you submit?

If I do submit additional documents aside from what the required documents mentioned above, will this add to my chance of getting a 5 year working visa in my renewal?

I know no one knows what are the qualifications on getting a 5 year working visa.

Appreciate your replies.

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u/KoalaNo3370 — 7 hours ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 359 r/japanresidents+1 crossposts

Rental Scam pt. 3: The owner of Tokyo Gaijins, Ricardo Farinas, was my landlord. He stole my pricey deposit.

This is the third and final post about an unpleasant experience I had during my 6-month stay in Tokyo.

I was scammed for the rent of my apartment (made as a lump-sum payment upfront for 6 months) by the real-estate agent. Recently, he was arrested, and we reached a settlement. You can read more details here:

Part one: Real estate agent ran away with rent payment

Part two: e-housing agent scammed me for over a million yen

In this third part, I want to focus on the landlord, Ricardo (Ricky) Farinas, owner of the outdoor/sports event and travel company Tokyo Gaijins (tokyogaijins.com). Most of the difficulties and stress I suffered these past few months from this case can be (directly or indirectly) attributed to him.

From the get go, when the agent turned out to be fraudulent, Ricardo tried to pin it on me and wanted to make me pay for the damages. I got in touch with the agency (E-housing) where the agent had worked at previously. We scheduled a date where we would all jointly visit the police station: the landlord, a representative of E-housing, and I. He used the opportunity to get E-housing on his side and to try to intimidate me jointly. At the police station, he was just listing all the mistakes I made (like not noticing that the agency was not mentioned on the contract, not ensuring that the contract was written correctly, etc.) instead of focusing on the perpetrator, the agent. I told him that we should not fight between us, since we were both victims of the same crime, but to no avail, as it seems.

After the meeting, he and the representative told me that I had to sign a new contract. According to them, the current contract I had was invalid, and therefore I had to sign the new one asap to be ok with the authorities. Their "generous" (their words) proposal was that I pay rent again, but to a 50% discount and no deposit, agency fee, or key money. I made the counteroffer of splitting the losses 50-50 (which would have amounted to me paying slightly less than the 50% of the rent that they asked for - details in pt. 1) with a clause in the contract that also the gains would be split 50-50, should the police investigation amount to anything. They refused my counteroffer.

From then on, Ricardo kept pressuring me to sign the new contract. When he gave me an ultimatum after two months, I told him that I would make a decision after my appointment for a lawyer's consultation the following week. That's when all of a sudden he let go of his demand and said that I could stay in the apartment without a new contract. He said, "Actually, I don’t want you to spend more money on legal counseling. I came from a really poor background and became successful in life because I always treat people well. I will do just like that. I will try to talk to eHousing and provide you a contract so we both get peace of mind." I never got a new contract, however. I just stayed for the full rental period under the original contract.

From the beginning, Ricardo had a lot more information than me, since he had been the agents friend and had done real-estate business with him (and with E-housing) before. While I had never met either of them before renting the unit. For example, he knew that the agent had worked at E-housing for many years, rumors that he had gotten into money problems due to getting into crypto, and that he was apparently in Bali now. He told me that I would most likely not receive any money from the police investigation.

Now to the final cherry on top that prompted me to write this follow-up post. The agent was recently arrested, and I was contacted by his public defender for a settlement. Upon handing the keys over to Ricardo when I moved out, he told me that, apparently, the agent's mother would be paying the settlement. He said that he felt bad for the mother and didn't care about the money, and if it was up to him, he would prefer that the agent just go to prison for a bit longer.

However, later, I discovered through the defender that Ricardo had asked and gotten the full rent back. For that reason, I contacted Ricardo to ask for my deposit, to which he responded he would not give it to me since he "let me live in his apartment for five months without charging rent". I asked if anything was amiss with the apartment (since I knew everything was perfectly fine with it), and instead of responding to my question, he said that I should go after the agent for any more money and that he would end all communication with me now.

Luckily, I had anticipated that I would probably not get the deposit from him and therefore demanded the deposit in my settlement. However, his behavior does not sit well with me because:

A) He now made 480,000 Yen (the pricey deposit) on top of what he would have made from just renting out the apartment.

B) I did not get any additional compensation in the settlement. I was only returned the exact amount that was stolen from me (which is now worth less due to the steep inflation on Yen). After getting the stolen money back, these are the damages that I have suffered through this story:

  • monetary damages:
    • I was not able to move out and move into a cheaper apartment (or else I would have gained nothing in return for the money I had already paid), which I would have preferred due to a change in my living situation.
  • psychological stress:
    • disputes with several parties,
    • bad rapport with the landlord,
    • threat of eviction.
  • lost time for my boss and me:
    • collecting all the evidence,
    • 2 lawyer visits,
    • 2 government office visits,
    • countless phone calls,
    • 8 visits to the police station, 3 with my boss.

C) The mother of the agent (if that part is true) had to pay more than her son stole in order to enrich the landlord.

This is the final post I want to make about this case. I got off comparatively lightly, since the stolen money was eventually returned, and I want to move on now. Hope you all had a good time reading about my struggles and could learn something from it, so you won't end up in a similar situation.

u/One-Palpitation8004 — 20 hours ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 423 r/japanresidents

つつじ seen many posts about sakura but no one talks about azaleas…

Just on a random park in yokohama

u/Kubocho — 20 hours ago

Am I understanding it correctly that NHI slips only give you 10 days to pay for it for June? Isn't this bad design?

I've always paid NHI and Nenkin on time. This year I'm applying for PR so I just wanted to make sure that I get my NHI slips and pay it on time again.

While reviewing my past payments, I realized that :

  1. The city hall sends the slips to you around June 15-20th.
  2. You have until June 30th to pay for it, or you're considered late.

This seems like bad bureaucratic design? They only give you a 10-15 day window to pay for it at the bank.

That is such a short window that people can easily miss the payments without any intention. I could be on a business trip, vacation, away from home for whatever reason, etc.

Looking at my past slips, I got mine on June 18th last year and had until June 30th to pay. Effectively 11 days.

I understand that if I convert to direct-bank payments, then they will take the money automatically and it will be on time. However, since I already have slips from the past, I just wanted to stay consistent and pay with a slip again. Either way, the window just seem so small.

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u/Maleficent-Cook-3668 — 20 hours ago

Car accident - how to proceed?

Title. My car was parked and someone ran into it. Police said it's a 0-100 fault. I have to get it repaired and it looks costly.

I'm calling my insurance tomorrow, but I expect them to leave it to the offender's insurance because it's a 0-100.

Does anyone have any advice on how to proceed?

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u/p3chapai — 16 hours ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 679 r/japanresidents

People are realizing Japanese people are not いつもuwuかわいいいdue to the translation feature on X

Japan on X when you have no translation feature: 🍣🍱🌸🎏⛩️🍡🍥🍙

Japan when you have the translation feature X: 👿👺😔🙈👎❌😨

u/Mammoth_Maize_1424 — 2 days ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 114 r/japanresidents

My fellow fast-walkers, how do you survive here?

I live in Shimokitazawa and always change trains at Shinjuku to go onto the Saikyo Line for the past year now. And for anyone who takes the Odakyu Line, and has to do the same, would know that the Saikyo Line sits at the very opposite of the station, meaning you have to pass all 10 ish JR Lines to reach it.

And oh my god it's been an absolute nightmare.

I'm always bound to run into one of these situations:

- You're walking in a straight line and someone cuts in front of you AND THEN slows down causing you to almost bump into them.

- You encounter an absolute horde of people exiting a train line effectively creating a wall due to a train that so happened to be unloading people.

- A group of 2-3 group of people walking in a 2-3 person wide corridor (and always slowly and leisurely without a care in the world)

- Some random guy standing in the middle of nowhere either using their phone or staring at the board above. Extra points if they were walking and suddenly decided to just stop.

It kinda feels like some people just don't really see what's going on around them and during rush hours don't feel a sense of urgency.

I'm a relatively tall guy (6ft) so if I slow down it's pretty awkward for me as I have to take pretty small steps, and even so, I end up tailgating whoever is in front of me.

This could primarily just be a Shinjuku/Shibuya/major train station thing but I feel like I'm reaching my breaking point. And honestly I might just wake up extra early just to catch the first train to avoid the crowds.

How have you all been coping if at all?

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u/AaronWrongArts — 2 days ago

International Schools in Tokyo.

Hello! I'm an international student and I've been in Japan for almost a year now. I was initially in an Indian International School because I couldn't switch my curriculum back then. But this year, we're ready to change my curriculum (Grade 11, Year 12).

We've already applied to Seisen and Sacred Heart, and we're also planning to apply to K International.

I was wondering how hard it is to get into a top-tier school in Tokyo, especially in high school, and if it's even worth the money

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u/mishri15_ — 24 hours ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 198 r/japanresidents

They came 😆

This NHK old man approached me this afternoon while locking my door heading out. He introduced himself in English and asked if I owned a TV? I said no, then he handed me this pamphlet in English and left. He seemed surprised that I don’t own a TV and now am wondering if he had been waiting for me at the corridor or it was just a coincidence.

He had a black camera looking thingy attached to a neck strap so am wondering if he took pics of me.

I’ve been ignoring those fat envelopes in my mailbox with no name on them. I’ve a feeling he or his buddies might decide to come back and if they do, I’ll start speaking Zulu. No English me speak.

u/Hot-Tea2 — 3 days ago

People open doors before greeting

We moved to rural area four months ago, and I don’t know if it’s a rural thing but it seems common that they open your front doors before aisatsu?! Some don’t even ring the doorbell!

I used to live in the city in an apartment, so this is my first time living in a house, in an area where the community is small and close-knit. Neighbors and even staff from company like ガス屋/水道屋 just opens the front door (you would at least expect the company staff to come over, but not a neighbor..). As an introvert, this freaks me out! I have a habit of locking the door, especially when my husband leaves for work in the morning. So it can get awkward when they try to open the door and it’s locked so I have to stop what I’m doing and rush to open. Also when it is unlocked, and I’m not instantly there to welcome them, they let themselves in the genkan.

One time I was actually at home but they tried to open the door and it was locked and I heard them say “she must not be at home!”..

Is this normal??!

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u/hokkaidotsubuan — 2 days ago

Witnessed a near-drowning today— shocked by people reaction

Hi everyone,

Today I witnessed a near-drowning incident in Okutama (Tokyo area), and I’m still very shocked and trying to process what happened.

I went hiking with a friend, and after passing the dam we sat on some rocks near the river (it was allowed). Nearby there was an area blocked off with a rope because it was dangerous, but some people were still going there.

There was a spot that looked like a small beach, but it was actually debris over water. An older woman stepped onto it, probably thinking it was safe, and suddenly fell into the water.

She didn’t shout or clearly ask for help, and her husband nearby didn’t seem very alarmed. Because of that, the situation didn’t immediately feel urgent. Then it started to look like she was struggling, but still she said nothing, and neither did the people near her.

Suddenly I heard someone say, “She’s drowning.”

What really scared me was that several people were standing nearby but didn’t react. I looked around in panic and said to myself, “I can’t swim,” hoping someone would jump in (I feel quite ashamed that I didn’t do it myself).

Luckily, an older man in a canoe reached her, scooped her up, and brought her closer to the rocks. Then he asked,

「体力がある人がいませんか?.

No one answered.

I wanted to respond, but I’m small (about 50 kg / 160 cm), I was panicking, and I’m not very strong, so I hesitated. I kept looking at the young man behind me, hoping he would step in.

Then the man in the canoe asked again, 「誰か若い人?」(“Someone young?”), but still no reaction.

My friend went to get a long stick, and I called out to a man who was passing by and looked strong, and he came to help. After that, people started moving more, and we formed a kind of human chain to pull her out.

I gave my towel to support her after she was out, and her husband called the firefighters.

She is safe now, I think.

Still, I keep thinking about a few things:

Why didn’t people react immediately, even when directly asked?

Why didn’t the woman call for help or shout?

I’m not trying to judge anyone—just trying to understand. I’m still shaken, and also a bit ashamed of my own hesitation, still I can not swim and I am not sure I would been able to help.

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u/oyasumixxxx — 1 day ago

April New Products

What new products recently came out that you love?

Either from a convenience store or supermarket.

Please name the store that you found it from.

What are the must try items of the season?

Or which are awful?

Anyone try the Caliber potato chip ramen yet?

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u/OSMTECC — 1 day ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 174 r/japanresidents

Immigration to raise the fees for 3 year Status of Residency to 6万円

Yesterday, the ISA (Immigration) officially made public their proposals for pricing for the irrespective 1 and 3 year visa SoR terms, in addition to the previously announced 3 month and 5 year terms. These changes are looking to be implemented in fiscal 2026.

Newly Announced:

  • 1 year SoR : 3万円
  • 3 year SoR : 6万円

Previously Announced

  • 3 Months SoR: 1万円
  • 5 year SoR : 7万円
  • PR SoR : 20万円

https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/07f93cc56245537b1586e0ec3c08a226dd79a5b4

Next to 1 year visas, the 3 year visa is probably one of the more common spans, so having it almost the same as the 5 year is kind of a kick in the pants. Not completely terrible, but not really great.

The worst part though, is that the ISA is projecting almost a 25% increase on revenue from these changes. Instead of a government service, the gov seems dead set on making foreigners pay to cover not only the increased processing costs, but also to create a purse of money for "who-knows-what".

So, time to start saving up those extra yennies I suppose.

u/sylentshooter — 3 days ago

High electrical bill question; looking for insight and solutions

This feels weird to ask, but has anyone else’s electrical bill been insanely high the past couple of months? Like the 15,000¥ range for someone living alone?

It used to be around 5-9k¥ max. The first 15,000¥ bill I got really shocked me. I hadn’t made any drastic energy requiring life adjustments, so I was super surprised. After, I made sure to really cut back. I actually haven’t use my aircon for the past two months at all since I assumed that was the culprit.

And today I see my bill is STILL high? I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong. Not leaving lights on. Not using aircon either. No long showers.

What’s going on? Is there a possibility I’m also paying for a neighbor too or something? Am I doing something else wrong?

Any insight would be appreciated. Not sure what more I should be cutting back on as I REALLY have changed my lifestyle, since receiving the bills, to the extend of being arguably a little too frugal. My next move is cold showers every night :( It’s been four months of high bills. Three months of radical change and still high bills.

What’s going on? And does anyone have any suggestions as to what else I can do? Thanks!

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u/s0ul_snatcher696 — 2 days ago