r/footballmanagergames

Playing FM2012 as I'm a simple man and having played for longer than I am proud of enjoy a little bit of 'just for a laugh let's do this' in a separate, non serious game save.

My current fave is to take over Man U and Man C and just relegate them to non league, starting their journey by putting utter trash on long term massive, 50% annual increases and watching players on £950k a week in a low division whilst the clubs get continuously docked points for going in to administration.

Always on the look out for tips to wreak havoc with - what are yours?

Long post. Genuinely long. Get a snack or sumn (TLDR version at the bottom)

Some of you were in my post here a while back. The one where I was having a complete meltdown because I could not beat Arne Slot. He was at Arsenal winning trebles while I sat at Chelsea. Then he went to Barca and knocked me out of the UCL two seasons in a row like I was a Sunday league side. Posted that thread at 1am and meant every single word.

Then someone in the comments mentioned they run a save called Pep's a Fraud. Just follow Pep to every job, show up, dismantle him, make sure he never wins anything. I read that comment about four times.

Arne Slot is a Fraud. New save. That was it.

20 seasons, two IRL years of my life I am never getting back and I regret nothing.

THE START

Booted the save unemployed. No job, no club, just me and pure hatred for one bald Dutch man. Sitting there refreshing the job board like a loser and you want to know what the only Premier League vacancy was?

Tottenham Hotspur.

I need you to understand something. I am a Chelsea fan. I have spent years of my real actual human life laughing at that club. I genuinely hope they get relegated irl, sorry Spurs fans, and I mean that with love. And here I am taking their job in FM like some kind of desperate war criminal. Told myself it was just a vehicle. A means to an end. A vessel for revenge.

Took the job. Felt my soul leave my body a little bit. Carried on anyway.

YEARS 1 TO 3. SPURS. I AM SO SORRY

Slot was still at Liverpool year one so im across London watching him win the title while I'm trying to get Spurs to stop conceding headers from every corner. Finished fourth. Kept my job barely.

Year two I actually got the squad doing something. Brought in three players who could press properly and built something real. Went to Anfield in November and won 2-0 and felt like an absolute genius. Slot gave this calm collected presser about it being a blip and I hated him for it. He finished second that season. No title. First crack.

Year three I won the league with Tottenham Hotspur and I need you to understand the complicated emotions involved. Celebrated. Then immediately felt like I needed a shower. Won the title with Spurs like some kind of villain origin story. But Slot got the sack at Liverpool and I knew I had to follow him, couldn't stay at Spurs being happy. That felt deeply wrong on every level.

YEARS 4 TO 7. FRANCE. THIS NEARLY FINISHED ME.

He took PSG. I took Lyon. I want to be fully honest, this period nearly ended me as a person.

PSG had just an absolutely disgusting squad. Players that made my entire wage budget look like pocket change. Year one I finished third, got knocked out in the UCL league phase and sat staring at the tactics screen for a genuinely long time. He won the treble that year. I let the trophy ceremony cutscene play out fully as a punishment to myself.

Year two was better. Finished second, knocked him out of the Coupe de France in the semis. He won Ligue 1 on the last day by two points and I closed the laptop and went for an actual walk outside.

Year three was the one that really got me. Title race, final weekend, we needed to win and needed PSG to drop points at home to a nothing side. We won 4-0. Checked the other score. PSG won 2-1. He lifted the trophy. I just sat there in complete silence, no rage, just this hollow empty feeling like the game had decided it wasn't my time yet.

He left for Real Madrid shortly after and I was genuinely relieved. France was doing something to me.

YEARS 8 TO 13. SPAIN. WHERE IT GOT PERSONAL. AND THEN WEIRD.

Atletico job. This was always going to be warfare and it delivered everything.

Madrid derbies during this stretch were just unhinged. 3-3s, 90th minute winners, a red card in the 12th minute, my keeper saving two penalties in extra time and then conceding from open play immediately after. My notes app from this period is just tactical tweaks and the word FRAUD appearing in capitals at random intervals for no clear reason.

Overall record was mine across those years. Better league finishes, knocked him out of cups, had the upper hand more often than not.

But then year 11 happened and I need to talk about Marco Rose.

Nobody invited this man to Spain. Nobody asked for him. He just showed up at Sevilla out of nowhere like a weather event and spent one single season absolutely humiliating everyone in the league. Finished above both me and Slot. Won La Liga. Beat me 4-1 at home. Beat Slot 3-0 away. Just came in, made complete fools of us both, won the title and then left for some job in Turkey the following summer like nothing happened. Gone as fast as he arrived.

Me and Slot both finished that season looking at each other across the table like two people who just got pickpocketed by the same guy. I didn't even feel the usual rivalry energy for a few weeks after. Just a shared quiet humiliation. Marco Rose came to Spain, cooked both of us and disappeared into the sunset with a La Liga medal and I still think about it.

Anyway. He won the UCL in year 12 and I didn't and that was a proper dagger. Watched his players lift it and genuinely considered ending the save.

THE INTERNATIONAL DETOUR. NEITHER OF US COVERED OURSELVES IN GLORY.

This bit still makes me laugh.

Somewhere around year 14 between club jobs we both somehow ended up as international managers at the same time. He took Netherlands obviously, because of course he did. And I looked at the available jobs and saw Germany sitting there open and just started cackling. Netherlands vs Germany. The most historically loaded rivalry in international football, its like the save wrote itself.

We spent two years circling each other in qualifiers and friendlies talking a big game. Building up to what felt like an inevitable World Cup final showdown. The football gods had clearly set this up and I was ready.

World Cup comes. We're both cruising through. Quarters, both win. Semis come around and we're in different halves of the draw so we cant even meet until the final.

I lost my semi. He lost his semi.

Neither of us made the final.

We both got eliminated by different teams in the same round without even playing each other and I think that is the most FM thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. The save spent two years building to a World Cup final between us and then just went nah and knocked us both out separately. Like Spain all over again except this time there was no Marco Rose to blame, just our own individual inadequacy on the biggest stage. I went back to club football with my tail between my legs and im fairly sure he did too. Never spoke of it again.

YEARS 14 TO 18. GERMANY. THE FRAUD GETS NERVOUS

Back to clubs. He took Bayern, I took Dortmund, we moved to Germany like two old men who genuinely couldn't let it go.

This period was mostly mine. Bundesliga in year 15 felt clean and deserved. Knocked him out the DFB-Pokal two seasons running. UCL semi in year 16 we beat him on away goals after two absolutely mental legs and that night felt like proper justice.

Then year 17 broke my heart. Final day, title race, needed a win at home. Lost 1-0 to a team with absolutely nothing to play for. Bayern won their game. He took the title by one point and his end of season interview had something about consistency being what separates real managers and I wanted to put my fist through my monitor.

He left Bayern after year 18 and I thought the save was done honestly. Started winding down. Won one more Bundesliga just to feel clean about the whole Germany chapter.

Then the notification came through.

Arne Slot. New job. Inter Milan.

I laughed for a solid ten seconds. Then applied for the AC Milan job when it was available nearly mid season lol

YEARS 19 TO 20. ITALY. THE END

One last chapter neither of us had planned.

Milan derby games in year 19 were almost respectful by our standards. Split the league games, I finished above him in Serie A. You could see it in his tactics, rotating more, giving young players time, something was just different. He was deep into his 60s in game at this point and id been following this man since I was a young unemployed manager sitting at a Spurs laptop wondering where it all went wrong.

Year 20. UCL run. Cruised the groups, knocked out a couple decent sides, just kept moving forward. Wasn't really thinking about the bracket too hard.

Quarters. Semis. Final.

Looked at who I was playing.

Inter Milan.

Him. One more time. And I still didn't know what I know now, just thought it was another final against a man id spent half my life chasing across five countries.

We won 3-1. Wasn't close at all. He had no answers for anything we did, the press killed them all night, and the third goal was a 25 yard strike that went in off the post and honestly felt like the game giving me a little nod. Watched the full trophy presentation without skipping a single second.

Then the news appeared.

Arne Slot has retired from management.

His last ever game in football was a Champions League final. He didn't announce it???. I only found out after I'd already lifted the trophy and done the full celebration.

Sat with that for a while.

Twenty game years. Five countries. Spurs, God forgive me and may they be relegated swiftly. One season in Spain where Marco Rose showed up out of nowhere and humiliated both of us before vanishing to Turkey like a ghost. An international detour where me and the fraud both lost our World Cup semis without even playing each other. One bald Dutch man who never once made it easy and spent two decades being completely wrong about who the real fraud was.

He's gone. The save is done.

I can finally watch the sunrise on a grateful and peaceful universe.

****

TL;DR: followed arne slot across the world for 20 game years, marco rose showed up in spain for literally one season cooked us both and left, took germany while he had netherlands at the world cup and we both lost our semis without playing each other, beat him in his final ever game without knowing it was his last, he retired after the CL final, i am free*

I’ve had fm26 for a while now and I still don’t know how to use the defensive tactics. I’m not sure how it works it is confusing.

i have tried a high line a low block everyone on tackle harder nothin seems to work.

This is the third iteration of my Faroe Islands build a nation challenge. I first attempted it back in FM21 with a custom club I created called FF Húsavík. While I do have many fond memories of that save, like Allan Olsen being a Faroese RW being the star of a Faroese club winning multiple UCLs, ultimately the save was limited by a poorly-made database and the even worse behaviour of the AI which was entirely unable to develop. I reached a peak ranking of 6th in the mid 2050s and that was after I took over B68 Toftir as a second human-controlled club. The second attempt came when I switched over to FM24, this time I created my own database with rules as close to the real thing as I could find and implement with my reasonable, but not great, editor skills. Again with FF Húsavík, and building the squad to closely mimic what I had done with the original Húsavík in those first 3 seasons, this savefile corrupted by the 5th season as I had just lost the UCL qualifying play-off on the 11th penalty.

Attempt number three thus began on the 19th of December 2023. I did not restart FF Húsavík, the second attempt was proof enough to never return to where you had been happy. Instead I took over Tvøroyrar Bóltfelag, or TB, the oldest football club in the Faroe Islands and one of the most successful with their 7 league titles, but last winning it in 1987 and having since become a yo-yo club, with TB in last place becoming a familiar sight. The 2021 season was an all-time low, with only 3 points from 27 matches, setting a league record for most defeats (24), most goals conceded (95) and tying the record for least wins (0). Funnily enough, 3 points is not the all-time lowest points total, a distinction that goes to NSÍ Runavík, with their 0 points in the 1976 season (one of the 7 TB league wins, coincidentally) albeit only over 12 matches, not 27.

I won't bore you with the season by season details (since there really is a lot I can say about this save), I'm going to paint a general picture. I only failed to win the league title in the 1st and 3rd seasons, winning 25 of the 27 seasons, 24 in a row. I made the UCL for the first time on my 5th season (on penalties, thus avenging my earlier loss on the 2nd attempt). First UCL knockouts came in 2030/31. First UCL final unexpectedly came in 2035/36, so much so that I made a video a few years ago for the occasion. That was such a fun season and many of the players on that squad were legends of the save, with many sticking around for UCL finals I would actually win, unlike that one where I got slapped 3-0. An 18-year-old Claudio Mellado chipping the PSG goalkeeper at the Parc des Princes to level it in extra time of a UCL semi final is the kind of feeling you can only get playing FM. That 2035/36 season will forever live on.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try, try again and at the 5th time of asking you will finally succeed

Three consecutive UCLs lost in the final proved to be the start of my villain arc, as I would win the 2041/42 UCL to finally end the curse and win a further 4 in as many finals until the end of the decade. 2049 and 2050 saw a 93 match unbeaten rampage in all competitions in which a (to my knowledge) world record 46 consecutive wins were set between the UCL, the CWC, the UEFA Super Cup, the Faroese league and the Faroese cup. The unbeaten run would end in the 2049/50 UCL quarter finals, as I lost 3-1 to Man City away. Seeing red after losing for the first time since god knows when, my players applied the Middlesbrough treatment and destroyed Man City 8-1 in the home leg. Could have been 10, realistically, were it not for the woodwork. The 2049/50 edition also saw TB set the record for most team goals in the UCL proper at 54, just 2 goals shy of the overall record of 56 goals including qualifiers set by, well, also TB back in 2036/37.

TB is the best club in the world, this is all fine and well, but what about the rest of the sheep farmers that make up the Faroese league? I "invested" (that is, signed utter dross for nonsensical prices) hundreds of millions among the other teams so that they could support their entirely unsustainable wage structures, I signed hundreds of young foreign players and immediately set them on the development list so that other teams would pick up one or two every season or so, and the end result was being stuck in 8th being the Netherlands and Portugal. Great. Also, I'm probably on many human trafficking watchlists by now.

That was until my SSD died and I had to have my computer repaired. I thought I had lost the save entirely, making attempt #3 follow in the footsteps of #2, but it turns out I had a backup from a year prior to what was then the present. Second chances are rare, but Víkingur Gøta grabbed it with both hands, winning the 2044/45 UECL in the final against Osijek. Admittedly, they had an easy run with OB, Lyngby and Osijek, but they did have to beat Sunderland in the SF. That was the turning point of the save. Next season, B68 Toftir qualified for the UECL for the first time, making it the first time in the entire save all 5 teams reached the league phase. HB and KÍ Klaksvík would be regulars in the knockouts, usually reaching the round of 16 before bouncing out.

Consistency is key, but in fairness that's now 4 times in a row they get drawn with an eventual finalist in the round of 16

Then, in 2046/47, Víkingur Gøta would fail to qualify for the UEL, dropping back down to the UEL, and they would win it again. Against Osijek in the final, again. Osijek fans must hate Víkingur Gøta at this point. Huge shoutout to Southampton for losing to Istra on the way in the most absurd way possible, much appreciated to not have to face a Prem team in the UECL. HB would make the UEL semi finals in 2048/49. B68 Toftir would make the UECL semi finals in 2049/50. And somehow KÍ never made a European semi final, despite being the second best team in the league and the only team not called TB to have ever qualified for the UCL league phase, and twice.

The funniest match ever?

4 teams pulling their own weight (some more than others), TB destroying whatever opponent was put in front of them and only dividing by 5 teams meant an absurd amount of points over 2048/49 and 2049/50. The many, many years I had spent stuck in 8th almost broke me and I thought I would never make top 4. I eventually made it to 7th. A couple of seasons later to 6th. And now... I did not climb from 6th to 5th. I did not climb from 6th to 4th. I did not climb from 6th to 3rd. I climbed from 6th to 2nd!

Coefficient Farming Simulator 2K50

Since this is a summer league, the current league season is out of sync with European football, so next season will correspond to my season in 6th place. I'm actually a bit confused about the additional UCL spot for finishing 2nd in the seasonal ranking, I think it might apply to last season's league table but I'm not entirely sure who gets it and whether it means I'll have 3 or 4 teams in the UCL. I'll have to sim forward for a bit to see it. Anyway, here are some fun quirks:
- The second best league in Europe is 40% semi-professional.
- There are more combined seats in the league than population in the Faroe Islands.
- 42 out of the 55 players in the media best XI for the other 5 professional teams in the league have their wages paid by TB, either via loan or sold way below market value and with selling team wage contribution.
- Being a top 4 league means you either get relegated (9th-10th), exist (8th) or get Europe (1st-7th). An additional UCL spot for finishing 2nd in a season would mean you either get relegated or get Europe, no mid table mediocrity for anyone. As it stands, MB, with their cumulative 35 points over their last 67 league matches, are on course to get European football.
- B36 Tórshavn start out as arguably 4th best team but somehow managed to fall all the way down to the 4th tier (not really relevant for the coefficient but I just thought it was funny how they managed to do that.

I have no idea what will happen now that so many teams get UCL and Europe in general. A lot of money is coming into the league, that should be good, but these teams are definitely not UCL ready, maybe Víkingur Gøta can compete.

Anyway, I won the UCL final a few hours ago and with it the final tenths I needed to clinch 2nd in both the seasonal and overall rankings. Top 4 was already secured since before the semis, but then 3rd became a strong possibility, and eventually 2nd was on the cards too... So I just wanted to share this achievement which has taken me years!

I was recently playing with hansa rostock on FM 24 and it's an established Bundesliga side now and we played the first round of Cups against a minnow team and scored five goals in 10 minutes.

this was four different players scoring those five goals and it dawned on me how ludicrous scoring five goals in 9 minutes would be in FM even against a minnow much less a top half first division Club, so I wondered if anyone had ever gotten a striker or attacker to score that amount of goals in around 10 minutes

Someone using this shape upfront and having the striker to score? Not saying the best goalscorer ever but still score a few of them?

How do you setup that trio?

I have a couple of youth players who refuse to go out on loan no matter what… they reject every offer that comes their way, is there much that can be done about this or am I best just letting them train with the first team and giving them the occasional opportunity.