r/dating_apps

A year ago, I was frustrated with what dating apps were doing to people.

Every app was the same: upload your best photo, swipe, get ghosted, repeat. Connections were built on thumbnails. Depth was an afterthought.
So I started building Cuper.

The idea was simple (and apparently controversial): What if your personality was your profile? No photos. Match by MBTI type, Enneagram, and Attachment Style — the things that actually predict whether two people will work long-term.
We just launched on Google Play, and here’s what building it taught us:

1. The no-photo decision scared everyone at first — including us.
   Every advisor said “you’ll get zero users.” Turns out there’s a huge, underserved crowd of people exhausted by appearance-first dating. They’ve been waiting for this.

2. Psychology frameworks are polarising.
   Half the people we spoke to said “MBTI isn’t scientific.” The other half already knew their type, their partner’s type, and their parents’ types. We built for the second group.

3. Safety is harder than features.
   OTP login, block & report, zero-tolerance CSAE policy — getting this right before launch took longer than building the matching algorithm. Worth every day.

4. India is ready for intentional dating.
   We’re based in Bangalore and the early signal from users who want something real and not just something to swipe through at 2am has been genuinely exciting.
   We’re live on Android now. iOS coming soon.
   Would love brutal feedback from this community what would make you try it (or never touch it)?
   cuper.me

Le uso tutte… Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Badoo, Lovoo

In tutte quante faccio pochi match, e quei pochi match sono ragazze non molto carine

Questo significa che quello è il mio livello? Nel senso che i match che faccio rappresentano il mio livello estetico? Se matcho con ragazze poco carine significa che io stesso sono poco carino?

I wonder about this. How many people are not on the dating sites to engage and meet someone special but rather to either hope their ex sees them, gets jealous and wants them back OR they are on there rebounding from an ex? I say this because I have been on dating apps on and off over the last few years and so many guys I met were clearly still attached to their ex. I found out after dating someone for a short time that he was in communications with his ex the entire time and that his whole reason for going on the app was in hopes that she would find out and want him back. LOL, makes me wonder how much time I have wasted and this would also explain why people ghost - maybe they succeeded in getting their ex back? Thoughts?

My dad is in his late 50s and is finally ready to start dating again after being divorced for a few years. He’s pretty social in person, but the whole world of dating apps is brand new to him. We’ve looked at the mainstream ones like Tinder and Bumble, but they feel way too swipe heav and focused on casual hookups, which isn't really his vibe

My biggest concern is the safety factor. I’m honestly worried about him running into bots or romance scams, as he's not always the most skeptical person online. I recently saw niche apps mentioned as a better alternative because they focus on verified profiles and intentional connections rather than just endless swiping

Has anyone here helped a parent use niche apps for the 50+ crowd? I’m wondering if these platforms are actually safer and more curated, or if it’s just the same "sketchy" experience with a different brand name. Would love to hear if anyone has had a good (or bad) experience with them!

Buying them at good rates

I am a 52 year old man and getting back out into the dating scene has been a really tough journey. You spend hours creating a nice profile with good photos and thoughtful answers. Then you start swiping and it just feels like you are shouting into an absolute void. Nobody asks any real questions. Nobody seems curious about your life or what makes you happy. It is incredibly isolating when all you really want is a warm human connection and a bit of everyday engagement. I felt like I was completely invisible on those giant platforms. It was almost like my presence did not matter at all.
I was ready to give up on the whole process but I saw an ad for meetmyage and decided to give it a shot. I am actually amazed by the difference in how people communicate there. The women there send thoughtful messages and they actually want to know how my day went. We talk about our favorite books and share little details about our routines without any heavy expectations. It is the first time I have felt truly noticed and appreciated in a very long time. The whole environment just feels much more welcoming for someone my age. How do you cope with that feeling and do you think these specialized platforms are the only way to find someone?

I’ve been reading threads lately on how tinder is easier to get matches on compared to hinge but I’ve already gotten a like on my photo within only a few hours of signing up. I thought I’d get way more likes and matches on tinder compared to my hinge profile. Then again I’ve only been on tinder and hinge for 10 ish hours.

I’m also a male, if you guys are wondering. I’d say my pictures on tinder are better than the ones on hinge too.