r/buntis

Please be kind. I am already miserable. And sorry for the long post ahead.

Hi, I'm 27f and I haven't told anyone about my feelings not even my fiancé.

I am a licensed professional both here in PH and US. I am an only child and have separated parents (we on good terms though and I did grow up well despite the broken family). As an only child, there are a lot of expectations of me especially from my mom. She even told me why wont you start med school while reviewing for your international exam (grabi trust mo sa brain cells ko mom ha 1gb lang to). Well I got good grades but not the cum laude level but just passed all my major exams on one take (local international nmat ielts)

I got engaged with my long term boyfriend last year and my parents opposes since they want me to go abroad first then settle which clearly I dont want to do. My goal was just to have a remote job and be happy and have a slow life.
My extended family were ofc happy for me since they said im already at the right age but I can still feel some hesitation from them knowing they have other expectations for me As well. My grandmother just wants me to go abroad for the money. LOL NOT A CHANCE GRANDMA

FF I am now 13 weeks pregnant and only my fiance and me know. My world just turned upside down. Believe me when it was still a few weeks old i have come to reddit for advice and well people were not kind since we were not using any protection hahaha. But whatever. I have considered abortion since I really dont want to have kids right now. But my partner is the best and I knew we are going to be alright because he is just the best.

I have been holding off telling my family and friends this because I just am not ready yet. But we have agreed to tell them some time this month.

I am mourning for the person I am supposed to be. I wanted a wedding first. I wanted to improve my self first like my body and many other things. Fuck i just wanted to look pretty for my wedding not this stressed looking version of me. That was like the one thing I wanted to most in life. To get married first before having kids. My mom did not have that and also my other family members as well. I was supposed to be the different one. And even though I had no interest going abroad, i wanted to have the option to go even if i really dont want to. I feel like there are a lot of things that I should do before having a kid. i wanted to be happy during my pregnancy and not dreading it. i have been taking care of my self i have vitamins and i eat healthy. but sometimes i think or wish that this baby will just slide out anytime. I know these are bad thoughts but i just cant help it and there are many more were it came from.

i see my friends living their best life and I am happy for them truly. I just wish that would have been my case too.

I will attend my bestfriend's wedding in a few weeks and I am the maid of honor. I see her so glowing and she lost weight in preparation for her wedding. She is just so damn happy. We tried fitting my dress for the event and I look at myself in the mirror. All the weight I have gained was slowly showing and I guess it just made me spiral.

so yeah I am miserable and I just want to be happy.

HMO CARD HOLDERS

Vaccine for buntis