r/bleedingcanvas

"I'm gonna let go of my ghost

Wherever you go, I'll be waiting

I will live through you, my spirit

I will guide you through the rain

There's a monster

It's got me trapped on the other side

But this monster has become my home

I'll be comfortable

Twisted up in a shadow"- GUNSHIP

Everyday it feels like I'm sleeping inside of my own body and I don't know who is controlling it but they want me to suffer and they want the people around me to suffer and I've seen them cry I've heard them curse for my sake and they lose sleep coming over after midnight because they're afraid I'll die but it's not my choice if I die or not it's his choice and I can't live like this anymore I'm scared I used to speak well and write well and I used to be smart and I used to be accomplished and everything is disappearing from my hand the moment that I grasp it

I keep getting knocked over and I keep singing but the notes don't make sense and nothing makes sense I don't understand anything I don't want my thread to be pulled anymore it hurts