He has a fb page called Wonderful Warren if you want to see more of him (highly recommend). This sub doesn't allow links to Facebook, but he pops right up when you search for him.

Vacation is over

Work is a thing again and I'm honestly ready to be somewhere that is not home.

I just spent a week listening to Baby Satan drive Barracuda clinically insane with a neverending game of I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU because Cuda doesn't understand when she's being rage-baited

or maybe she just doesn't care

I don't know

If I didn't expect the humane services to be called I would record the histrionics that Barracuda gets up to when even remotely threatened with being touched by the small devil in her domicile.

She does not just meow. She shrieks. She yowls. She lays on her side and screams like a wounded Puma.

Does she walk away? Does she seek shelter in one of the countless places a puppy cannot access? Does she even attempt to swat at the object of her annoyance?

Absolutely not. She stays where the fuck she is and screams even louder because she can feel Baby Satan thinking about touching her. Then she yowls at me for telling her to go sit somewhere that isn't directly in front of the source of her rage.

Anyway The Hound had a great vacation.

Quick everybody tell him how perfectly quaint and idyllic he looks with his sunhat on

He might need a bigger size but at least it's a start and his eyebrows are on their way to being protected from the sun

Normal people are shopping for Mother's Day and here I am putting guinea pig sized straw hats on my retired streetfighter of a cat

Srsly though he needs a hat for summer strolls

or sunglasses and sunscreen

I honestly do not expect The Hound to care more or less about either option. He does what the public demands and has a good time regardless

Not pictured are at least 4 grown ass women cooing at him over my shoulder which was the only reason he was willing to be seen with this atrocity on his head.

I cannot exaggerate how many times a day I have to tell one of them to fuck off back to their other gigantic bed because they're clearly unwanted.

The Hound is just as guilty as Toody, and I can't cover for him any longer

He will make a point to get up and stretch ever so languidly before sauntering on over to whatever bed she has claimed for herself and just laying in the middle of it no matter how annoying she is.

He might look aggravated but the truth is, he's making a very conscious choice to be aggravated

He's about 4 months old now and looks quite similar to a pup that was posted recently with his beard and scruffy hair. He has one short coat of soft brown hair and one long coat of black wiry hair. He has a beard and eyebrows. I don't care what he is but I thought he was a German Shepherd. I love him no matter what. Also his tail is starting to curl

LISTEN

LISTEN AT LEAST IT'S JUST AESTHETIC

SHE'S BUSINESS ON TOP AND A PARTY DOWN BELOW

I had two tubey treats worth of time to get the first pass done before all hope was lost

Now I've got the cat version of Weird Barbie and honestly she seems to be living for it

plus she ain't got no mats now 🤟

He has been petted 300 times and loved every second of it

He bought himself a special bowtie for the occasion (it has fishes on it)

He enjoys Homesense very muchly but is holding out hope for the bookstore to be a real knockout

I cannot accurately describe the raw chaos of my living room right now as I attempt to do art commissions that were due three months ago

The Hound knows that Toody likes her new bed, so he is camping there whenever possible with the smuggest little shit-eating expression on his face because he knows damn well what he's doing.

He was utterly devastated when I took Toody's side and forced him to go sleep on one of his own (half dozen) beds and took a real swing at me for the first time in about six months.

It did nothing, but he knows it hurt my feelings so he followed it up with a hiss

at me

his angel of music

his earthly muse

his most beloved one and only special mumsy

He is now sleeping under my bedcovers because he's in his feelings and his cough is making a return visit and the only thing that might have cured it was the puppy's new bed so basically if he dies you all know why

He is no longer convinced that he needs to watch my driving (I RAN INTO ONE SHELF, OK) and has started rolling around to optimize the number of tummy scratches he gets.

Quotes from today:

"Look, Gerald, what a size of a jesus cat"

"Is that real?" (confirmation) "oh my God I thought it was an ugly stuffie..."

"Mom, look at the gross cat! Hey, what's your cat's name?"

"Hard to fall out of the ugly tree, isn't it my buddy?"

"[gasps in grandmother]"

"GUARANTEED THAT THING'S FROM OUT THE BAY INNIT"

"That's the biggest friggin cat I've ever seen. Why?"

She is a freak of nature who refuses to shit outside her yard UNLESS it is in a reasonably fast-flowing body of water.

Today she also tinkled in the river.

Then her dumb bitch self walked to the ledge where the river gets deep and walks straight off

We both found out she can swim today

She was extracted from the river thanks to thinking ahead and getting her a harness with an Oh Jesus handle

She did not learn. She walked off the same ledge approximately 40 seconds later

We did not like Michael's

The Hound decided that he did not want to partake in more capitalism today, thank you, and left the carriage multiple times to seek out elderly women to woo

The Hound has earned many adverbs in his life, but fast is not one of them, so he is not a very hard man to catch. He is built like Fat Bastard from Austin Powers.

It's a good workout though. If you don't really need your dignity. So at least I'm gonna be ripped by summer at this rate.

anyway this was the moment when The Hound realized he was going to have to unleash The Claws if I did not turn the fucking stroller around right now

Dudio Coolguy likes things that are cool to like

Dudio Coolguy will not specify what those things are, as anyone who is cool will already know

The whole province is full of silly place names, but I'm always discovering more, and this one made me giggle like a middle-schooler.

Come By Chance? Blow Me Down? Dildo? Drop your favourite newfie names!

Dink is blonde and full of RAGE

Donk is black and white and also full of RAGE

Adopted from a petstore last year and currently living in a ratty mansion on my TV stand.

Dink&Donk assume I am the reason that bad things happen in life.

Their dislike of me is personal and at this point I don't even mind because it seems to give them a sick kind of joy to hate on me.

Having worked with rats professionally for years now, the (SECOND) worst bite I have ever received was from Dink, who was deeply disturbed by my creeping phalanges around his nest of the week.

Petstore rats are built different fellas - get them from a breeder if you want cuddle buddies, get them from a box store if you want the discount sewer brand.

No hate to box store staff - it ain't their choice to stock these rage machines and they already get the shit end of the stick when these MF go home and maul kiddy fingers.

Theoretically I could probably handle Dink&Donk more, but given the amount of predatory species in my household, they are much less stressed out when their cage is shut and they have extra snacks 🤟

She only wants to poop if there's a gentle lapping of cold water against her butthole

Has taken to sitting on every bench we pass, because strangers like to pet her when she's pretending to be people.

An attention whore who will always repeat a behavior that brought some form of outside affection.

Did you know I went to the pet store today to get rat stuff and three different employees demanded to know where Toody was. Like visibly disappointed that I was there with another human and not my leashed Jim Henson collectible.

I have been calling Baby Satan Grover in the same way you might call your bestie a bitch when she's being a bitch

EDIT BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE WEIRDLY UPSET:

No, it is NOT good to allow any domestic animal to shit in a river. I think we all, as adult human beings, probably realize this.

I crack jokes in these posts and try to not dive too far into the backend of training and redirection and the steps to avoid future incidents of woopsy-doodles in the rivers of our glorious Northern country.

So, friends and neighbors, even if it seems like I'm being a silly goose about these things, understand that I am also a seasoned professional in all things dog - behind the chuckles, there is a plan in place to hopefully limit Toody having doodies in running water WITHOUT fully restricting her from exploring her environment during a sensitive part of her development when outright restriction could lead to her becoming water-averse.

She would like to report a CRIME, jesus

A BIG ONE

She would like all parties sentenced to a thousand years in PRISON

She loves the pet store and everybody KNOWS she loves the petstore and she wasn't even INVITED

In this economy?

In 2026?

In a free country?

PRISON, LORDE

PRISON FOR A THOUSAND YEARS

She said it's quite nice

The Iron Bank Of Hound may or may not have loaned her a small sum to purchase her new mattress and he may or may not have tacked on an absurd interest rate

Toodles Patoodles doesn't even know what she agreed to she doesn't even know what money is

she assumes we just go to stores and her friends give her free things

Supermutt in this case includes markers for Bichon Frise, German Shepherd, Greenland Dog, Golden Retriever and American Pitbull Terrier

Baby Satan's unhinged nature finally makes sense

Professionally speaking, I am afraid

There are a lot of people around here now so a new AMA seemed like a good idea

Ask any and all questions about The Hound, his backstory, or whatever else you're curious about.