I feel like I don't focus enough on the specific details within the illustration but it can be so interesting and unlock much deeper insights... and in general I would like to develop a more layered interpretation of each card's meaning
I can say right off the bat this is going to be a LONG post. I haven’t touched my cards in probably over a year. For context this deck is the alleyman tarot, it is HUGE with I believe nearly 200 cards, not traditional, and each card is either from a different existing deck or made by different artists. Hence the strange cards. There are hundreds of cards in this deck and I can’t even shuffle without splitting it into 2 or 3.
Anyway. It all started with me getting into one of my occasional late night loops of driving myself crazy trying to understand how the universe is scientifically possible. This spiraled into wondering about life after death, and my tarot cards popped into my head. I didn’t expect anything interesting. I honestly believe that tarot is usually just your own interpretation of vaguely worded cards. I asked if my dead dad is still around, or if he passed on or otherwise is no longer around.
I pulled the knight of pentacles. I am a total noob so I had to use the guide book, but what it said literally paralyzed me. I’m going to just copy and paste the meanings because my thoughts are too jumbled to summarize or paraphrase, and I want you all to see the exact meaning.
Knight of Rings (Pentacles)
It comes swiftly and may leave as swift, but it is patience and slowness, a rock wall you can lean on. I'd say this knight is the one most likely to stay a while. It is a sign that there is someone or something to lean on to keep working at something. A support to stay standing, to persist in the face of difficulty and the vastness of time it takes to complete things in life. This knight is responsible, practical, and ready to hold fast until you are done.
———
Basically, that he’s here, he’s always been here, and he will be with me until I die. I sat there staring at this book for a solid few minutes in complete shock. I wasn’t expecting anything so direct, let alone the art on the card as well. At that point I couldn’t help my curiosity. I asked what my dad was thinking when he died, what he’d want me to know now, or what he wished he could have told me before he died. The circumstances around his death weren’t great, I was 15 and everything was a mess. I never got to talk to him after he was hospitalized and there was a lot of family shit going on.
This next part sounds like complete bullshit and is mainly why I’m coming here. No one in my life would believe me, or wouldn’t understand the hit these cards delivered me. As I was shuffling three cards fell out in a little clump. Normally I ignore cards that fall out if it’s more than one as that’s usually just a shuffle error. But I was curious and peeked and the first one was the mourning death. Again my heart sank and I had to look at the others. The hand of the hunter was in the middle and in reverse.
———
The Mourning Death
No better card speaks to the grieving of losing something. Sometimes change is hard and it hurts; it leaves us sobbing alone and feeling like nothing will ever be as it was. That is this death—the mourning death. What many fail to see is that this mourning comes about from a feeling of protection. We are protective of our lives, and the things we lose can feel like failures on our part to keep them around, even if it was their time to go.
Page of Wands
The Page of Wands is grounded and has goals. There is a powerful potential in her and the sincere will and focus to bring it to life. She hasn't made her mark on the world yet, but she will someday soon. At her core, the Page of Wands focuses on finding core motivations and working from them. You will complete your projects, your goals, your work, because this is not flippant hope or desire—this is the raw willpower that rests on your foundations. She is the knowledge that you walk in confidence toward your goal.
Hand of the Hunter (Reverse)
In reverse, this card is focused more on the loss of connection—your sense of disconnectedness from the things that should ground you. Go outside, if you can. Touch grass. Smell the air. Watch the sun and clouds. The earth breathes with us.
———
First of all I find it very humorous that my dead dad is telling me to touch grass. But this spread is just earth shattering to me. I don’t really believe in an afterlife and this is making me question everything. I am still skeptical but this just feels TOO direct? Too accurate? Especially in a deck that is basically 3 decks in one, what are the odds to pull THESE cards? And I can’t help but feel he chose that page of wands because I love cats and he knows that picture would lessen the blow and heaviness of the rest.
The fact that the mourning death was at the front of that little clump of cards is just mind boggling. It shows the dead mourning the living. It shows my dad saying that he didn’t want to go, that he felt like a failure for having to leave. But the next two cards make that less painful as it seems he’s now coped with the fact that he can’t come back. Obviously I interpret that the mourning death was his thoughts immediately after, and the other two are his messages for me now. Beyond the fact that the page of wands has the cute cat on the face that he’d likely associate with me, the meaning of the card also resonates. I’m in school, have been for a while as I keep changing my field, but this one has finally stuck. I feel like this card is obviously encouragement to keep going, that I’ve finally found the right field and need to just stick with it and not give up.
The hand of the hunter in reverse was honestly a bit confusing when I first saw it. It’s all about nature and respecting Mother Earth — to be fair my dad was a real hippy from the late 60s-70s so it does fit. But in reverse it’s about feeling disconnected and needing to get out and touch grass. I thought that part was funny. Like I mentioned the upright card meaning also mentioned a deer, and I have a deer tattoo in memorial of my dad that I had been considering adding to just before starting to draw cards. Just a weird coincidence.
I just don’t even know what to think. I’ve never attempted to ask questions like these as I’d always thought it taboo, but again, I always thought tarot was more just learning lessons from vague words. This isn’t that. This isn’t vague. This isn’t up to interpretation. This is direct and in your face and impossible to miss. I wouldn’t say that I believe my dead dad is talking to me through these cards, moreso I guess that his residual energy could influence this pull? … or something? I’m having a hard time finding a logical conclusion for any of this. It was completely unexpected and just too weird to be a coincidence, especially this deck. There are SO MANY cards, most not of any suit or arcana and so many are funny and silly. The odds of THESE EXACT CARDS coming out are just too weird for me to be able to ignore or write off and idk what to make of it.
Some cards just sit there and stare at you.
Which one makes you uncomfortable the most? Vote below and tell me why in the comments.
I had an idea that the reason I might be stuck and experiencing a lot of adversity might be because the manifestations I started to work on in 2024 are literally waiting for me to start actually doing the things I intended to do rather then just waiting and working on it sporadically.
This was the past present and future of that idea that I have to act like the manifestation is going to end with the result I have in mind and to stop procrastinating if you want things to change.
The classic 3-card spread works best when you stop treating it like a verdict.
Position 1 — Where you are Not where you want to be. Where you actually are right now.
Position 2 — What's blocking you Usually something internal, not external.
Position 3 — What to move toward Not a destination. A direction.
The mistake most people make: they want Position 3 to tell them what to do. It won't. It shows you what energy to cultivate.
Try it today and share what came up.
Most people start with Rider-Waite — created in 1909, illustrated pip cards, the woman on the Strength card. It's what you find in every beginner kit.
The Tarot de Marseille dates back to 17th century France.
The difference matters:
A lot of experienced readers eventually come back to Marseille for exactly that reason. The simplicity forces precision.
Do you read with Marseille or Rider-Waite? What made you choose — or switch?
