r/Skibiditoiletsupport

So two fridays ago I gave two of my books away to a new student cause he needed to print them Not a lot of people at the time had almost every book so I thought "I mean what's gonna happen he said he'll return them on Monday" which in fact he didn't. He did not return them to me and my mom just punished me about it by yelling at me I think it's justified I deserve to get yelled at for this mistake I've made I'll try to tell the school office about this but I'm afraid that I'll get trapped in the spider's web cause they'll definitely start asking questions like "why'd you give him the books in the first place" and what will I do after that.. anyways I hope you guys understand this and try to help me out here :(

When is this gonna end

I'm tired of pretending stuff improved and just staying quiet. Almost all of the issues I've talked about in my old posts here and on r/suicidewatch, are still ongoing.

Don't know how many times I've said this, But again I'm at risk of losing my house. This time might be worse though, considering my family and I are supposed to be evicted TOMORROW. We have neither the money or the time to pack up anything, we have nobody to move in with, we as a family of 5 literally live off small donations from family members. Now none of them are able to donate, meaning we're literally alone on this now.

I'm so sick of this. Constantly worrying, constantly feeling like I'm at risk of losing something. But I'm really feeling done. Is it fate? Am I *meant* to do this? I keep trying to hope, to stay optimistic, but life just keeps getting worse. There's so much I want to say which Idk if I can, or want to. Things I never had in life which i'm ashamed to admit about.

This is seriously it for me, if I lose my home, I WILL do it. It's not me venting anymore, I would actually rather die. I have, in the literal sense, NOBODY outside my family. Not even a single friend, I don't know if my parents will be able to convince someone to let 5 people in their already small enough house

I was considering whether I should post this or not because I don't wanna seem like I'm attention seeking so just ignore this. And I hate to say it, but while I appreciate kind words, they do nothing. I just need somewhere to put this, I don't need to be convinced to live or not. That choice will be decided by whatever happens in my life. Nobody can convince me not to, if it all goes to shit. Thanks for all the support I've gotten in old posts, they did make me at least a little seen

On top of it all, this just HAD to have been happening during this war in my country. Just 1-2 days ago got missle alerts again but it wasn't an immediate threat so eh. But it's just so stressful, I have to worry about so much, I can barely sleep I stay up till 4-5 AM every night just distracting myself

Death really does feel like the better option here. Nobody outside my family would know or care, at most a few people online would be mildly sad before forgetting I existed in a month or two. It would spare me of so much stress too

Last thing, about the flair, It's only the suicide part. I stopped with cutting even though I still regularly get urges to.

I can only pray but I don't know if I'm being heard anymore

yeah this is my monthly rant about random shit so... Recently, I've grown a morbid fascination over mass killers/other evil criminals, and as I dive more and more into their stories and the events of their attacks I just think and believe "wow, humans are pieces of shit." Like what could justify the killing of innocent people, trying to work for money or even worse, just learn at a school, just for their lives to change in an instant. How cowardly could you be, to blame a group of people for YOUR PROBLEMS. And yet, there are real human beings justifying these prices of shit.

Yeah aside from that life also sucks I want to die right now I'm kind of lonely but that's like old news and I can deal with that