45 [F4M] Kinks, Vibes, And Going Slow
Please be local.
I am single, female, living in Florida for the second time after close to twenty years in California. (Ft Myers/Cape now.) I am not so newly divorced now and a working professional with a life that includes friends, family, and occasionally my own needs and downtime. After some months (re: a couple years) to myself, I’ve decided to poke my head out and actually engage with other humans, maybe romantically. The trouble is, I really have no idea where to start.
I work a fair bit and have a commute, plus I can be a bit of a homebody when I do have spare time. The apps are depressingly liminal and, having tried, I can’t bring myself to care. I feel like after a long time in a committed relationship, I’m so used to being in that mindset I can no longer really tell when I’m being flirted with anyway, so that’s no help. I don’t want to compromise myself or be with anyone just for the sake of not being alone. If I am honest as I am trying to be, there are times when my patience for other people is thin. I feel like I know what I like when I see it, and faking doesn’t work for me at all while wearing my opinions on my face.
That said—I would really like to have sex again sometime and have it not suck. More than that, I am starting to want the connection you only get when you’re clicking with someone you really vibe with. Despite the above probably making me sound like Queen Bitch, I’m actually quite nice when I like someone, and I’ve been told I am a good and giving partner. I’m sometimes smart, usually dedicated, and occasionally awesome. And….Hm.
There’s the sexy side of things, which begins with telling you that I am a fan of the taboo and forbidden. I have some big, wide kinks that I’m open to discussing in free-form. A few that easily come to mind are breeding/risk, rough play, dom/sub and especially switch dynamics, breath play, dirty talk/degradation, somnophilia, creampies, cum play in general, *~edging~*, and experiments in free-use. I have a high drive which can go up on cyclical to be *very* high; a good match likes and wants to keep up with that.
I’m obviously into things, but not before I like you or share my explicit interest for the green light. In reality, I would *LOVE* to find someone aligned with my kinks and bonking each other’s brains out but in a similar emotional and mental place so they are also okay with taking things “slow” in other ways. Long term is preferred and wanted. Please be local.
What I’m into is probably harder to put a simple label to. **Unmarried is a good start and, yes, absolutely required. No excuses, no explanations, no exceptions.** No. Other than that—Smart (this one gets you big ups), funny, confident, interested, the usual impossible list, maybe a little nerdy—and this last one needs clarification. I’m not into DnD or gaming, both are a bit tiresome to me. I’m also wary and conscious of arrested development and mental health issues. Please be sane and have your shit together.
For me, nerdy translates to an enthusiastic interest in learning. That can be through reading (right now I’m on a baller Dark Tower journey I would die to talk about) or watching things (like the thousand or so boring YouTubes in my queue about dinosaurs, the galaxy, and random history). It can be an appreciation of art (anyone ever watch Great Art Explained?) or active interest in volunteering (I was a community organizer for years, or example). I just want someone that has things to talk about and will again in the future. Having some things in common would also be rad.
What else about me? I’m latina (1st gen represent). I’m about 5’4, 5’5 if I stretch. Fair skinned, dark hair and eyes, curvy to be, so you'll need to be into that. I grew up in the 80s and 90s, so make of that what you will so far as you will in terms of my love for both Bowie and Nirvana, but it technically makes me *Classic Goth* even if I don’t wear it *as much* on my sleeve anymore. I like music that I know the lyrics to, but every now and again that’s also something from this decade. I tend to prefer white guys, bigger and taller, but that’s not a hard and fast rule by any means. I love animals. I’m still vaping (a little bit! Trying to stop it) and smoking weed (not trying to stop that). I like cartoons and not very much at all anime (sorry—Miyazaki is an exception though. Everyone loves those.)
Close to me would be fantastic even if we keep it strictly cyber-rific for a while or forever. Over 35 (at least) is probably required since I’m pretty sure I speak an entirely different language to those sub-millennial in generation. Over 45 is completely fine. That click is what matters.
Yes, I know this is a total reach and it’s 50/50 on whether I either get overwhelmed and immediately delete this or just get no responses at all. Shooting my shot anyway.