r/FirstTimeHomeBuyer

Hey y’all, just looking for some advice or maybe validation…

I purchased my home by myself and have been in it for 2 months, and it’s been absolutely bleeding me dry. Had an ice dam, now getting a new roof. Uprooted tree, pay to take it down. Electrician, mason, chimney… I am so angry at myself for taking on this huge financial burden by myself. The small things to take care of it add up too.

I also just had to replace the brakes on my car and the costs are just so disheartening. I forgot why I bought this house in the first place.

Anyways, any advice, any wisdom, send it my way.

Just a quick summary:

We know our realitor from church. She has lied to us, misled us, ignored us, put off problems, and been a headache every step of the way. We seriously cannot wait for this to be over to just be done with her.

Anyways, after a long 60 day close, we are done next Wednesday. Now, our realitor knows we work nights (4:00pm - 3:00am)

She sent an email this morning letting us know the location of the title company we are going to meet at & its going to be at 9:00am. Typically, we get home, shower, walk the dogs, eat, nd go to bed around 6:00 am. So 9:00 am is super early to us. My wife was pissed and ultimately, she's just at her breaking point with this woman.

My question is, when you guys close, did you get asked what time works for you for closing, or did you just get signed up?

We've been looking for about two years with the last 6 months being pretty intense, ie. looking at everything that meets criteria in our search radius. We just put in an offer late last week on the best house we've seen thus far and found out we didn't get it because we were UNDER bid by a family that wrote a letter and "pulled at the homeowners heartstrings". We offered asking and we're allowing them to have post close occupancy as requested with 5% of sale going to escrow until we got possession. We have been advised to not write these letters but to lose out because of them feels like the wrong advice. I'm not saying the escrow didn't have something to do with it but also find that to be ridiculous since it's irrelevant as long as they actually moved. We're just incredibly frustrated.

We bid 20% over…they got almost 30 offers and the winner was more than 30% over. Not no but hell no.

It seems generally that many view concessions as a net good for many buyers. because why would having more cash after closing not be a good thing?

but as i see it your are effectively financing a small loan for 30 years at a non inconsequential (edit: double negative) a serious rate(currently at least)

is there ever a situation where you would look at someone financing 10k-15k(or more in some scenarios) for 30 years at 6.25% and consider that a wise financial move?

obviously agents like it, keeps prices up and commissions sweet. and neighbor hoods like it be cause it strengthens their own values.

but for sellers it seems to be a wash for the most part.

for buyers, while i understand having some liquidity after a large purchase sounds great, the financing of that cash is not cheap. and arguably predatory. sure people down play $50-$100 less on your monthly, but i think that is more valuable than many give it credit for. particularly in the big picture. on top of that gives the seller leverage to deny other concession request for undisclosed repairs after inspection further hurting buyers power.

sorry for the rant, just some frustrations around what feels like a silly song and dance in the whole process.

Hello All,

I’m looking for some very general advice about what position you “should” be in in order to buy a house.

My spouse and I are on the fence currently and both searching for info.

The long and short of it is we earn ~170 combined in stable jobs, excellent credit, and have ~40 saved total right now. We live in a HCOL area and so houses at ~550 are our target. Using the calculators online We could potentially qualify for a mortgage that’s close to 4k which is right at 28% of our gross monthly, but also about 40% of our net monthly.

I’m having a hard time putting together whether this is fully reasonable or really stretching it.

Any advice or pointing to places that give general help would be appreciated.

Cheers,