I went to see David Sedaris last night in Kansas City and never have I laughed so hard during a show. I loved it! He was personable and funny and everything one would expect. After the show, I stood in the autograph line and waited my turn. When my turn came, I came up with a program he had previously signed a few years ago and said I hoped he would sign it again and thanked him for coming back to Kansas City.
It was a late show, so maybe I caught him at an off moment. But he glanced at the person next to him, rolled his eyes, and made big gestures. At first he was just making grunting noises and not saying anything (he was also eating steak during the signings so I thought he was just taking his time to chew, which was fine) but then, in a loud voice he said, "I don't sign things twice that's not something that I do" and other things along those lines that I can't quote verbatim, but you get the idea. Surprised, I went into deescalation/emotional management mode and tried to keep it light-hearted and was like "oh, ok I'll keep that in mind for next time" - I was so shocked, just not expecting that reaction and response. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. It was like I was a child who acted up in class or something.
That seemed to have stopped his reaction and he paused and grabbed a white slip of paper with his name printed on it and said "WHAT's your name?" I told him and put the Post-It note down on the table with my name on it to make it easier. The note he wrote was "[Name], you're wearing me out" I then tried to keep it high level conversation after that since he had been chatting it up with people before me but he just pushed the paper to me and didn't look up from his plate. I just said "ok, have a good rest of your evening" and left. I called a friend about it as I walked to my car, she said maybe he was doing a bit and I just took it personally. Maybe.
Now I've just been wondering if I did some sort of huge social faux pas that I didn't know about? Was everyone else clued in and I'm just the bumpkin that had no idea you shouldn't ask people to sign something twice? The pamphlet I had brought meant something to me and I had searched to find it. I felt so embarrassed and just surprised after waiting in line and watching him chat and yuk it up with everyone else.
Please let me know (kindly and reasonably) what I may have done wrong. I still enjoyed the show and like his works, I think I just won't try to meet him again.
Thanks.
EDIT:
Thank you all for your insights. I appreciate your comments on my surprise and embarrassment and I'm sorry to hear other people had the same experience! It sucks but in a way it's nice to know that it's not necessarily "Us" but a quirk of his. I guess that's where disappointment and being pissed off on my end come in is that, as it was well-put in the comments, that he's just an odd bird and many of you guys had the insight to enjoy the show but don't make it personal.
My more emotive POV is that: This wasn't cheap. And we don't all have all the time to go do things we love. I had looked forward to that evening for months and was so excited to purchased the second to last seat in the house. I decided to pay around 70 bucks and then 20 for parking after meticulously carving away time from my twin toddlers in an evening where someone else had to help them with their routines all to go see David Sedaris. I wasn't expecting some huge personal moment (though I am glad that some of you have gotten that from him, I think that's great) I just wanted him to sign it, say "thanks for coming" or something simple like that, and then just let it go.
I know these are long nights for him and, after looking up his schedule, many months of different city performances every few days. But he chose that for himself. He chooses to write about his family, his experiences, his thoughts all for us to buy them through books, audio books, and live performances. If he's disappointed that I didn't bring a brand new book (which is reasonable) then maybe he can rest assured that he will be making bank off of what we all spent that night to be there and all the other money he will make on his tour and his book and then go be melodramatic about it in his Sussex house, or his Paris house, or his North Carolina house or his house in New York City while we all get back to reality and our responsibilities.
I just wanted a night out after being home for quite some time. I didn't need a lecture from a "quirky genius" demonstratively airing out his annoyances on me. The woman before me in line mentioned how she was excited to get his new book since he had mentioned during the show that J.D. Vance's book comes out the same day and how he wants to beat him being crowned with the New York Times #1 Best Seller title. When she mentioned it during her signing he just casually said something to extent of "Yeah, well, I know that has been motivation for people to buy the book so I keep saying it" - not verbatim, but the point was he purposely says that because he knows it will get people to buy his book presale. I truly don't care either way and I didn't even know J.D. Vance had a book coming out. The point of sharing that was the perspective that yeah maybe it is disappointment from not selling a new book. That it is about the money. And this is David Sedaris we're talking about, not your local author, with his net worth, he's doing just fine.
Another embarrassing part of this is just that when I said "have a good rest of your evening" and, without looking up, he just grunted an "Uh-huh" it hit me as I was walking away that he had told a story during the event where a pair of woman on vacation had said that phrase to him when leaving and how "basic, expected, and wholly unoriginal" that phrase is.
I don't care. I'm not here on Earth to impress him.
I am glad that many of you all had a great experience with him. But my rule-of-thumb when it comes to David Sedaris now is is go to be entertained, not the conversation.
And if for some wild reason he ever even remembers this interaction and DOES put it in a story about a KC women with a facial disfigurement who asked for second signing, it's your girl right here.
Thanks again.