r/CookingCircleJerk

As a highly cultured individual (I could make a yogurt seem sterile) I can pronounce every food item in every restaurant flawlessly. This makes me highly judgemental of my white AF mother who simply refuses to remember how to pronounce tah-coh. Well recently she announced that work is sending her to Sahn Dee-eh-goh and she's excited to try some (and I'm quoting here) Feesh tay-cows from authentic Mix-ee-cahns. I'm constantly being embarrassed to admit to my discord friends (from every single ethnicity and race) that my own mother can't provide foreign words correctly so I think I'll just let the cartels handle her. I simply cannot stand to live with such an uncultured swine of a narcissist. So would I be the ass hole to not keep her safe from cartel Chihuahuas?

here's my secret recipe to moh-lay

reddit.com
u/ThatMkeDoe — 7 days ago

The fact that Asian soup spoons are objectively better has radicalized me

I just feel so much shame about it. No one is safe.

This has almost nothing to do with MSG.

reddit.com
u/cramber-flarmp — 6 days ago
▲ 80 r/CookingCircleJerk+1 crossposts

After 15 years grinding it out in the kitchen as a professional home chef, I decided I wanted a little more spice in my life (and I am not referring to my chili oil). Tonight at midnight, I am dropping my OnlyPans link for all who are interested! What can you expect from my subscription?

  • Exclusive pan pics
  • Behind-the-scenes knife tutorials
  • Cooking scenes with my wife's boyfriend

I may even offer a few extra spicy 🔥 videos on creating homemade chipotle sauce. Subscribe and support your fellow professional home chef today!

reddit.com
u/SirCraigie — 9 days ago

Guys I think we're being tricked into believing that air fryers work. But think about it, do they actually fry the air? If they did, wouldn't we see fried oxygen with that crispy golden layer you see on KFC fried chicken?

reddit.com
u/lilactofu — 12 days ago

I live with my entire extended family and we haven't been on a grocery run in so long. It's exhausting, and like I tell my kids, we always have food at home! But lately I've been running out of recipes, so let's play a "what would you make" game . I have these ingredients:

9 rice grains

Fish I found in my toilet and put in a can so now it's canned tuna

Roadkill (unidentified)

Breast milk (yummy AND nutritious!), breast milk curd, breasts milk cheese, breast milk butter

Period blood

Frozen cheerios that are thawing so this is important

Ethically sourced, vegan ketchup

Salt

Oh, and my oven only works when you sacrifice a finger into it (we've run out!) and say please 7 times. Only way to cook is roasting directly over an open flame.

Go!

reddit.com
u/lilactofu — 11 days ago

I was falling asleep and thinkkng, whaf If I was fonna die in the nects Five miniutes if unless I had all the nutrients ii need for a day ib the next 6 seconds for reasons

As such, the hail Mary

500g protein powder

200g creatine powder

20 powder tablets of all vitamins a-z you can find

A whole container of fiber supplements (powder) (>300g)

1 cup olive oil

5 scoops horse electrolytes

12 pack of pediasure

1/2 cup salt

1 cup sugar

1 pound caffeine powder (to classify this as an energy drink)

Msg and vinegar to taste

The hail Mary whould have the consistency kf a smartie powdee, annd under the conditions of one of those Martial arts .cs rhat need nutrients after a breakthrough

reddit.com
u/Inevitable-Cod1458 — 10 days ago