r/AskAdoptees

For a lot of reasons, I'll probably never have biological children (I'm a lesbian, don't really want a relationship, don't want artificial insemination, to name a few). Most of all, instead of jumping through hoops to have biological children, I'd much rather parent a kid who's already out there and needs a home.

It will be at least a decade before I'm able to even start the process, but I do want to start thinking strongly about how I want to go about this now.

Adoption is generally a pretty messed up industry, and in some cases can be legally sanctioned human trafficking. That being said, kids in the industry still need homes, and are often in horrible situations while in state custody.

Plenty of adoptees were treated horribly or misunderstood by adoptive parents, and others were glad to have found adoptive families. And everything in between.

I'm looking into various ways to go about adoption to minimize a lot of common ethical issues, and I have a lot of research to do, but I figured I'd also ask on here just as a start:

Adoptees, what are some things you wish your parents had thought about, before or after adopting you? I want to hear from you!

First of all the elephant in the room I am an adopted person who just don't belong in the Adoptee community, I am by all case and purpose not apart of y'all but there is one question: why does it seem like adoptees just dismisses any adopted people who may not view the world the same way they do or have the negative experiences that the others do? I apologize if it seems like I'm trolling I am not I assure you I just have a weird way of wording things that seems aggressive when its not.

I should be taking a medication, its not mandatory life saving but it is quality of life related. It comes with a black box label for thyroid cancer. I have no known genetic family history. Adopted by adoptive grandparents (my parents adopted my biological mother, her adoptive parents adopted me) my bio-mom was adopted through child protective services due to being born addicted to drugs in the 70s. No way to know anything about her genetically.

I'm healthy, nothing has popped up genetically. Would you take a medication that heavily helped your quality of life in spite of the unknown? I'm at a complete loss on what to do.

Hello,

I have a sibling that lost their two children ages 3 and 5 due to abuse and went to prison. My sibling has mental health issues, which contributed to past choices. Their rights were terminated and their children were adopted. At the time I was given the chance to raise them, but in my 20's I didn't have a stable place to live and couldn't take them. My siblings children were adopted by their foster family and are now in their late twenties. This sibling (their parent) and I are part of a large family two more siblings. We have two more siblings who have nine kids, two kid in laws, and four grandchildren. I know how to contact my siblings kids, but I am unsure if I should. I would love them to know where the came from and who there birth family is. I am not sure how to approach this.