How did you find yourself again after miserable life changes in your 30’s?
I’m going to give some vulnerable and honest context, please be gentle.
Due to circumstances both in and out of my control, the last two years of my life have both been miserable and left me feeling both entirely exhausted, angry, confused, and empty. It’s such a mass exodus that I’m struggling to grasp everything that’s happened.
I’ve survived and left a abusive relationship while navigating multiple job losses, housing loss, multiple friendships falling apart, new relationships repeating lessons I swear I’ve learned but question myself and my decision making more than ever before (this keeps me stuck a lot). Moving across the country to two different states away from my dream area, having to forfeit my dog, selling most of what I own, random huge financial transactions popping up, struggling being unemployed the entire time, and eventually having to crash in my Grandfather’s apartment where I’m consistently reliving childhood trauma.
All of this while trying to find work and maintain my physical and mental health. I’ve been in therapy for 3 years now, navigating the remnants of the last abusive relationships and my past trauma so I can make informed and equipped decisions in the future. I’ve been working now, dating, finding healthcare in a new area yet every day I wake up I feel this overwhelming sadness and resentment that sits in the palm of my hand and gets heavier with every day. I’m trying to heal from the past while new experiences continue to hurt me. It’s been difficult healing in an environment I continue to feel hurt.
So much has happened, I feel bitter and skeptical like the very people who’ve hurt me. I find myself acting avoidant despite being more “anxiously attached” in the past. I don’t have a spark left, my creativity has gone stale and time keeps passing faster and faster. I’m working on all this, however, I wanted perspective from people my age or older on what they did when they felt miserable that helped them feel joy again, and move in a better direction for themselves when they didn’t know what that even looked like.
Thank you