Wasted another day fully aware I was wasting it
I’m laying here exhausted, it’s 3:32AM, only thing I’ve done since 8AM— yes, 19 hrs ago— is scroll, shower, and eat.
Knowing what I need to get done, knowing it doesn’t even take that long, knowing I can just turn my phone off right now and get sleep, knowing I’m self sabotaging my lifestyle, knowing almost every obstacle in my life is a direct result of my own decisions, also knowing every desire I have can easily be fulfilled if I just do what I know I need to do.
knowing that knowing isn’t the same as executing… and still knowing I’m not going to execute… yet :/
I have seasons of production and I was doing good for like a good three weeks without much to show for it. This is somewhat of a cycle for me. I always give myself the grace of knowing healing/growing isn’t linear but then also give myself the shame of knowing there’s plenty I need to step up to and I just haven’t.