tired of having to cancel things
i am so tired of having to cancel things that i have been extremely excited for. im dealing with such a painful flare up and i think im going to have to cancel a job interview that i was excited for and i think im going to have to cancel on a friend that i was excited to hang out with because i am in debilitating pain. i hate how it can randomly ramp up from uncomfortable pain to can’t move pain within the span on 12 hours and i never feel like i have enough notice. i feel like if i ask to cancel and reschedule then im going to wake up tomorrow with a draining flare up and i’ll be in significantly less pain and i’ll have cancelled for no reason. i hate that i can’t tell when it will start hurting less. i hate that if pain relief doesn’t work then there’s nothing to do other than wait. i hate this body so bad sometimes. i don’t get what i did to deserve this. i have been talking about hope excited i was for this job interview and this outing with my friend for a whole week now and it feels like the universe is purposefully punishing me the day before and i don’t know why. i wish i didn’t have to deal with this.