To many broken promises you couldn’t keep
Cs I know you said if we were to separate we’d still be close and still family I want nothing more than to still apart of our children’s and grandchild and the hardest part about this is you are my best friend literally my only friend but people out of my life to have a life with you.
I know our years together had been challenging and the last 3 years has been the worst got the both off us things that led to this I will take the blame for and I’ll wear that whole heartedly. But the last 8 months even long you became distant ignored the messages and calls and one thing led to another yes after months of arguing and secret you held on to did play a big part in our break down of our marriage more do I let my emotions become physical and I know that mental and physical hurt you inside that I wish we never had been arguing over the same thing each swing but what I’d say you say otherwise there’s no compromise and dam sure you always has the last say and mad sure you were right even when you were wrong.
After months i was allowed to come home but all the loves and misses and we will work on things I we o r led do hard on our marriage and myself and realised it didn’t feel like home it felt like a guest that over stayed his welcome we spoke things seemed alright but the same things was happening and thats when I pulled the plug on our marriage because I know you didn’t want too, but we spoke you said I’m your family I’m your best friend and you won’t leave me alone like everyone had since I was a child but this time everything come hitting me hard.
You promised we are family and I’ll be there when youse need me but you distance your self at home you tell me I’m your best friend and don’t want to lose me at all but when I come to comfort uou as a friend even to tell me how your feeling I’m still your husband after all but you pushed me away now you want me gone do you can have time and space for your self yeah that’s fine pushing me further and further and not give two shits then I said I can’t help how I feel about you I’m still deeply in love with you that’s why I come around do the yards and stuff because is my job to doing but after that’s I realise I’m no competition for who ever makes you smile while we are sitting there talking or watching something I said I’m going to back of for a bit because I’m hurting and struggling but you were quick to answer that text ( ok that’s ok) you said you’d never live me alone but your doing just that.
Now you’ve broken
Love and misses you lies straight to my face
You wanted me home so bad when that time come sudden change of heart
Best friends no you don’t say that if your not going to let me just comfort you as a friends not your husband
FAMILY is one here hurts me the most you say I’m your family and the children and grandchild that’s your FAMILY I find it hard to be your family while your pushing further away from everyone
Telling me you would never leave me alone again from the day we met knowing I did 2 years in a mental health facility you were the only real person I interacted With for a long time you knew my life story now I sit here no family no friends completely alone even my personalities have disappeared now all I have is silence the very silence that led me to the empty open field where there is nothing but the white gums trees silence.
All I can hear in my head is a faint voices saying I promise
I promise I’ll will be fine