Exactly as the title says, I’ve turned the previews from my last two posts into a full-length, multi-chapter fanfic, and I need beta readers to review it and give feedback on how I can improve the content.
You can find the work here
Let me know how I can improve the quality of the story, develop plot points, match character tone, and have better content warnings
This post relates to my previous one of a scene where Lakan confronts Yoh about Jinshi being around Maomao. I already have Maomao's POV of their first meeting on that post. Here is Jinshi’s:
Crown Prince Ka Zuigetsu meticulously smooths his robes, preparing for the morning assembly of newly appointed court officials. Though he could delegate this duty, Jinshi the Eunuch knows better than to shirk responsibility—especially when the orders come directly from the Son of Heaven himself. He mutters a mix of respect and irritation about his father’s eccentric sense of humor.
In another world, Ka Zuigetsu might have been known as the Imperial Younger Brother, disguising himself as a eunuch to avoid the brutal fight for the throne and to give his nephew Ziheng more siblings. But here, he wears the same disguise to protect his half-siblings and ensure their safe passage into adulthood—a silent act of fulfilling his mother's wish to shield the family from ruthless court scheming.
He never understood why the empress, who held the Son of Heaven’s heart, would willingly pit her son against rivals or threaten her own position. To him, maintaining a harem dishonored his mother’s sacrifices—she had borne him and his brother Yuncheng and protected them fiercely to forge a better future. Their misguided resentment grew over their father's decision to open the Rear Palace upon his ascension, and a bitter truth was revealed to them only during a quiet tea with their mother.
As the eldest and the Empress Dowager’s favorite, Zuigetsu was the undisputed Crown Prince. Yet, with only four male heirs in the entire imperial clan, the court demanded he cultivate his own garden—creating a network of supporters to secure his throne. To ease this burden, Empress Ah Dou convinced her husband to break his vows—sacrificing sacred promises to the love of his life—to father more sons. The more children he had, the safer the line of succession seemed.
With this knowledge, Zuigetsu withdrew from political machinations under the guise of spiritual cultivation—an excuse his father once used to broaden his mother's horizons—focusing instead on protecting his family. His priority was Jinshi the Eunuch and safeguarding his unborn half-siblings.
His efforts proved to be disappointingly ineffective. Four of his half-siblings had already died, and more could follow. Whispers swirled in court—blaming his grandfather's predatory behavior, his father's decision to crown a common-born woman as empress, even suggesting his mother deliberately harmed her husband's children to secure her position. Only he knew the bitter truth: after his birth, Chief Physician Kan resigned, leaving the imperial health in chaos. Without a competent doctor willing to serve as a eunuch in the Rear Palace, his siblings and their mothers suffered neglect and illness. Physician Guen did his best, but could only do so much.
The day Physician Kan left marked a turning point. For five years, Jinshi fought to reform the system—finally persuading the court to establish a medical court lady position, allowing trained female medical staff into the Rear Palace without breaking ancient rules.
Now, he waits with cautious hope and skepticism for the first group of medical court ladies. Whispers mention the elusive Young Lady Kan. If she truly matches Physician Kan’s skills, the future of the Ka Clan might finally brighten. But she is also the beloved daughter of Grand Commandant Kan Lakan—a family that recently proved their influence. Her joining her father and brothers could bring blessing or chaos. He plans to observe carefully, staying close enough to catch details but far enough to avoid entanglement in their storm.
With that thought, he heads for the outer court, Gaoshun trailing behind. His plan takes shape—a well-placed smile, a gentle nod—he strategizes which pawns to move for everyone’s success, except one. She remains behind the crowd, expression blank, lost in thought. When his voice cuts through her musings, she looks up, her piercing gaze assessing him. It’s not her deep blue eyes like the Grand Commandant’s that catch his attention, but the way her eyes seem to see straight through him. Shaking off the thought, he tries to charm her to unsettle her. Her reaction: she jarred herself from her thoughts, turned her gaze to him, and suddenly everything felt... different. As if she could see through Jinshi and into Zuigetsu, unimpressed by his flirtation. He attempts once more, only to be met with a glare that could freeze hell over a thousand times.
His father's childhood left him with few friends—Gaoshun and his mother—and somewhere along the way, amid the chaos of court battles and meddling ancestors, his father had gained one Kan Lakan. But friendship? That was a loose term for their relationship. Despite Lakan’s status as an ally, his eccentricities were a constant headache. He mentally sends an apology to his father, knowing he’d rather avoid risking Lakan’s unpredictable trouble. But the glare from Young Lady Kan chills his soul, stirring a desire to see how many of her expressive disgusted looks he can provoke.