ICU delirium
I kind of just wanna rant on about my experience while in the ICU & if anyone has some crazy stories. I was diagnosed with leukemia in 2017 to 2020. In between those, I was in the ICU twice. To this day I have no clue why, but I remember complaining because I couldn’t breathe so they took my blood pressure & my HR both of which were incredibly low. I got sent to the ICU & I don’t remember the actual real world. Here’s what happened in my brain
I was in the ICU, but I didn’t know that I was in the ICU. I was just there. They didn’t let me drink anything at all & I remember being so thirsty for sprite. They let me have these pink little sponge sticks that you can soak in water & suck on to ‘drink’, but I wasn’t allowed a lot of those. I asked my mom (she took care of me) if I can have one & she gave me one. I asked for another & they refused because I already had my max for the day. I also had a catheter & there was also some biopsies they did on my skin. I had to have oxygen hooked up to me & I don’t know the rest (some of this is from my memory, others are from what others told me)
In my head here’s how it went:
I want the pink sponge because I’m soooo thirsty. I finally get one & they won’t give me another. I can’t believe they only gave me one strike. I can’t get three strikes or they’ll put me in prison when I’m already in jail. They really put something up my v*a*ina I can’t believe someone did this why would they torture me. Oh that’s my mom let me tell her to make them stop. Heyyyyy!!! Tell them to stop!! How come you’re ignoring me! You’re just going to let them do this hey listen! I’m trying to call you! (She was standing looking out of a window from my recollection of this). Oh no they sent more people to do more test on me. Why are they using a cookie cutter to take my skin? Wow the cookie cutter is all the way in my leg & they took a whole chunk of my skin out. I need to figure out how to escape this I need to get out. Let me text my friend to warn him I need his help. I want to listen to the waterfall so I can sleep.
^ none of this happened the way I thought. I wasn’t able to speak, or move for majority of it. I was on life support & I had no clue. I thought they didn’t give me the sponges because I was already in jail. My mom couldn’t hear me because I never actually spoke but I could see & hear certain things. The ‘cookie cutter’ was doctors taking a skin biopsy. At a certain point during this I became some what conscious? I told my mom to give me her phone & I texted my friend “turn off your phone or restart it”. He had no clue what I was talking about, or why it came from my mom’s number. I guess I wanted to warn him about something. The ‘waterfall’ was the bag of iv fluid dripping. I had no clue how close I was to death until I actually recovered.
I know this post is way longer than it needed to be, but please tell me if you’ve experienced things like this vs what actually happened (if you know/remember).