My late night realization is that maybe Starbucks is the way that it is because it IS the Siren
In Greek mythology, Sirens are dangerous, hybrid creatures who lured sailors to destruction with their irresistibly sweet songs.
Starbucks lured us all here, one way or another, only just to drain the life out of us and lead us to destruction.
Idk, maybe I’ve been watching too much Percy Jackson, but this was just my thought as I lay in bed half asleep.