Dealing with Locker Room Talk
I feel like this subreddit is probably the only one that will lend a listening ear to this rant.
Some context here. I am almost 4 months into my role as a trainee solicitor. As part of my training contract, I have to do rotations in several departments. In my current rotation, I’m in a team of 7 male lawyers (3 senior associates, 4 partners) and 2 other female lawyers (1 senior associate and 1 junior associate). I’m the only trainee solicitor in my team. My direct supervisor is one of the male partners.
As you can tell from the title of this post and the gender ratio in my team, the male lawyers often engage in a lot of inappropriate locker room talk. They use misogynistic, homophobic language. When things go wrong, in the sense that person A caused trouble for person B, they often say person A r*ped person B. Strange choice of words that I don’t feel comfortable hearing as a woman.
I think they are well aware that they are quite crude cos once or twice, they have told me not to report them to HR …
Also the male lawyers like to ask questions about my personal life which I find quite intrusive. They like to ask about my dating life and how many apps I’m on. When I say I’m not on any, they say I should try. Idk is it common for older male colleagues to comment on each other’s personal lives like this? I don’t like sharing details about my personal life but they often keep prodding. Is this thinly veiled workplace harassment? Am I being too sensitive?
There was also an incident where I was asked to follow my direct supervisor for lunch with a client. I did not talk much during the lunch. My supervisor was talking to the client. The convo was about cigarettes and women. I don’t have anything to contribute and I didn’t feel comfortable with what they were saying. After the client lunch, my supervisor told me that I needed to work on my EQ because I did not talk during the lunch.
My rotation in this department is almost up and I’ll be moving on to my next department. Hopefully, the lawyers in my next department aren’t like this. I feel like I should’ve said something … However, at the same time, I’m the most junior person and they may think I’m too sensitive, can’t take a joke and cannot fit in, which may affect my retention at the firm
Fellow LBWT, how do yall handle such situations? Anyways here’s the end of my rant, thank you for listening 🫶🏻
Edit: Thank you everyone for your kind comments. This is the sanity check I needed. I thought I was crazy for feeling uncomfortable when everyone else seemed to be going along with the jokes.