hi im 18yo and was diagnosed with rp at around 12-13 during covid. ive had mental health struggles before my diagnosis, but as i get older eyesight has become a really touchy subject.
ive been through multiple medications and right now im at a point where i just dont want to take anything and honestly havent been taking meds for like 2 yrs. i know its bad, i dont know why i have such an insane aversion to meds. i think it might be bc one of my past meds put me in crippling pain and like a year ago i nearly choked taking a painkiller for a headache so now i get really anxious when i take pills. my experience w meds for my rp is just bad overall, anything doctors give me is painful or i develop a taste aversion to it. i just feel so stupid and selfish for not taking my meds lol. its like i have the materials to stop a burning ship but dont use them for a reason i cant even figure out
idk, overall i think im just struggling to even accept my rp. the thought of going blind is so terrifying. i feel like im a frog in boiling water that doesnt realize its being cooked until its too late. my dad said a week ago that there will come a time where ill have to give up driving and that thought makes me so sick. it feels like death because what is the difference really? ur world goes dark and everyone uve ever loved fades away and becomes just a memory. theres a chance my vision will never get to that point but the thought of it even being a possibility and the uncertainty of it is what makes it even more scary. im scared.
how did you guys accept this part of rp? or is it like this forever? i feel like i should start seeing a therapist but im going off to uni soon so i feel like its too late for that. plus im too scared to talk abt this w my family or friends, i dont want them to know about this
any advice is appreciated 😢