Mood Swings?
I (17f) have struggled with being mentally stable for the last few years. I do not know how to describe it accurately, but for some months I feel really down and kind of depressed, and then my brain suddenly snaps and I feel like I could do literally anything. This may last several weeks, and during this period of time I start taking up a lot of new hobbies, feel super productive, and can study without getting tired at all. It is almost insane because I sleep like 3–4 hours and still feel super awake the next day. I always thought that was normal until I saw how tired some of my classmates are after getting 6 hours of sleep. There have also been nights when I slept around an hour and still felt fine the day after. I would actually say that I really like this feeling of being unstoppable; however, I have done things I regretted, like befriending people I do not actually even like, spending money on pointless things, and signing up for extra courses I could not cancel afterwards.
On the other hand, whenever I am feeling depressed, which can last for several months, I struggle to get out of bed and miss several days of school (I have missed like 30 days already this school year, and I have school until July). I also tend to get into a lot of fights with my parents because I have less sense of time and feel disconnected from the world overall, which leads me to accidentally break promises, talk to them in ways they do not want to be talked to, etc.
I have always thought that these were the mood swings every teenager gets, but I do not know anyone whose experiences are like mine. It is just kind of confusing how I am either super excited about everything, feel great overall, and stuff, or feel super depressed. There are in-betweens, but if I had to, I could tell you which “phase” I have been in during which period of time. I never really noticed that until I first experienced the change from one to another. I was feeling really suicidal at that time (for about half a year) and made lots of self-destructive decisions. People found out about it, and I was sent to therapy by my teacher. A few days later, all those feelings were suddenly gone and I started doing stuff like obsessively learning a language, starting to write, and doing lots of things I would normally never have the motivation to do. People said that I suddenly became much more extroverted because I started talking loudly and rapidly all the time. I felt insane and, in a way, non-human, but I was finally free and felt like my true self.
Fast forward a few months later, and I was feeling really bad again. I could go on, but I think you see where I am getting at.
I have only noticed this pattern of behaviour recently, and it feels absolutely confusing to me. Right now, I feel really good again, but now I know that it is not going to stay like this forever.
I'm not trying to ask "what's wrong with me", but I would like to know if I can stabilise my mood somehow and if there are other people with the same experience as me. I feel like I am being a bit overdramatic, but it makes everything exhausting and small problems are hard to deal with.