10 months late but by the strangest alignment of stars, I got finally saw your note. I'm thankful for your invitation to this chapter.
No time is ever absolutely perfect but there's always a perfect time for a truce, especially in the world we live in today.
I miss you, I place no expectations on you.
Btw, uglyhead? lol.
It's always been you.
-MM
-to set the scene: imagine me singing this to you.
What if I fall for you,
What if I dive right in,
Might sweep you away,
Might bend 'till I break,
But what if I fall for you?
Jump off this pedestal
Accept my fate
It's a catch 22,
I could lose either way
But what if you caught me
It wouldn't be (such) a waste
Cause I think I fell for you,
Our eyes met and you saw through,
I hate that you saw through,
Guess I really should have been scared of you,
I really thought you knew
That safety was something new
What if I fell for you?
You told me to sing for you
And I wanted to
I usually never do...
What if that's all I do?
Sing to the ghost of you,
And meet in the memories,
To tell you that it's all true.
What if I fell for you,
Gave up my grace for you
Trusted myself with you
What if I fell for you?
-MM
-to set the scene: imagine me singing this to you.
What if I fall for you,
What if I dive right in,
Might sweep you away,
Might bend 'till I break,
But what if I fall for you?
Jump off this pedestal
Accept my fate
It's a catch 22,
I could lose either way
But what if you caught me
It wouldn't be (such) a waste
Cause I think I fell for you,
Our eyes met and you saw through,
I hate that you saw through,
Guess I really should have been scared of you,
I really thought you knew
That safety was something new
What if I fell for you?
You told me to sing for you
And I wanted to
I usually never do...
What if that's all I do?
Sing to the ghost of you,
And meet in the memories,
To tell you that it's all true.
What if I fell for you,
Gave up my grace for you
Trusted myself with you
What if I fell for you?
-MM
-to set the scene: imagine me singing this to you.
What if I fall for you,
What if I dive right in,
Might sweep you away,
Might bend 'till I break,
But what if I fall for you?
Jump off this pedestal
Accept my fate
It's a catch 22,
I could lose either way
But what if you caught me
It wouldn't be (such) a waste
Cause I think I fell for you,
Our eyes met and you saw through,
I hate that you saw through,
Guess I really should have been scared of you,
I really thought you knew
That safety was something new
What if I fell for you?
You told me to sing for you
And I wanted to
I usually never do...
What if that's all I do?
Sing to the ghost of you,
And meet in the memories,
To tell you that it's all true.
What if I fell for you,
Gave up my grace for you
Trusted myself with you
What if I fell for you?
-MM
I could see us,
Dancing through the moonlight,
Trees filling the field around,
Lights swinging from above,
After promising a lifetime,
Forever together,
Laughing and loving,
Starting our adventure
Surrounded by family and friends,
Praying that night would never end.
It was a straight shot down the rabbit hole
My parents and grandparents had followed,
My sister preached it as settling,
My brother avoided it while constantly chasing it,
As if it were the very oxygen that he needed to live...
I could see us,
Same small town,
Helping the new football team,
Babies growing up with our
Besties babies,
Replacing larger potential
"For both of us" I say, in exchange for sleep
To take up a generational cycle,
How do I make that decision,
How do I jump off of that cliff?
You're gone now,
Neither of us will ever know,
One way or another,
Even if not with me,
You deserved more than
A sky full of stars.
I can see us in another life,
Unbothered by the what ifs,
Growing together,
A little girl with my hair,
Her daddy's eyes,
And a happy home,
Who cares what small town,
I really like to think it's ours though.
I can see you in another life,
Married with the family you deserve,
The home you've searched for,
Carrying your beautiful little girl
On your shoulders, she has your smile,
Introducing me to your wife,
Telling me about your life
Since the last time we spoke,
Alive and beautifully happy,
With all you ever wanted,
Alive and beautifully happy.
(Disclaimer - this is different from my other posts because it is written for and about someone who has passed away, please be respectful of that.)
Guilt is abolished by forgiveness,
Either within or from the outside,
Shedding it's skin, bearing life to new fruit.
Regret is outshined by understanding,
Wisdom isn't with age, it comes through experience,
Bringing sunshine to what once only knew darkness,
Understanding is accepting fear,
Masked as mistakes and flaws,
Raping your mind each time the light dims,
Is as equally present as peace,
At any given moment.
The light illuminates secrets,
Like a path lighting up with each step,
Progressive movement breaks through
The stagnation of the past.
It isn't your eyes,
Beautiful as they are,
It's the way you look at me,
As though you see right through to the very core of me,
Behind the mask applied for public appearances,
Carefully constructed, so normal it's automatic,
Beneath the surface of physical flesh,
Carrying flaws, scars, and tattoos as if they're war wounds,
Each with their own stories, little moments fragmented in skin,
Beyond conversation, deflection, distractions,
All fall to the floor in a shapeless alphabet,
Meaningless in the space between us
So, yes, I love your eyes,
But it isn't because of how beautiful they are,
It's how you look at me with them,
How you hold me in them.