Got rid of the most ridiculous guy in my life
I had this friend from a long time ago who I only allow to stick around because he’s a very honest guy. The boy literally cannot lie for the life of him. I’ll break down the reasons:
- He’s poly and is constantly lecturing me about why everyone, including me, needs to be poly because monogamy is “outdated and ridiculous.” It’s full of “people with anxiety,” he says. Meanwhile, he’s the one constantly complaining to me about women he meets not being to his standards.
- He likes to visit soaplands/brothels (sometimes for the same girl) and will tell me about it, even if I tell him I don’t care to know. Everything I’ve learned about Japanese soaplands has been from him, and entirely against my consent.
- It’s a bit embarrassing to bring him to meet new people. He complains about his ex all the time saying she let herself go, her conversation is embarrassing because she’s dumb, and she never dresses right. All of those things are accurate about him.
- He will tell me he has already eaten (on vacations he invites himself along for; at least he pays for himself) when I’m starving. I will tell him he can go do something else while I grab a bite. He insists on joining me. I will tell him he can order a coffee on me. When my food comes that I ordered only for myself, he starts helping himself to it immediately, before I have. And yes, he is a big boy. His solution? Extreme fasting and liposuction.
- It’s funny too because he insists on only dating thin women with professional careers. He’s large and doesn’t have such a career, and it’s too judgmental for me to point that out.
- I speak with a very soft indoor voice, and may talk louder while outside. He has pointed this out on why I keep attracting weak men, because my manner is very motherly. If I raise my voice at him, you can damn well bet he deserved it. He keeps bringing it up and wants me to change while denying all of these atrocious things he keeps putting me through every time we are together. “Don’t raise your voice at me, woman!”
- He betrayed me by befriending a guy that treated me horribly in the past because he’s a father now. I told him making a baby doesn’t require any skills, so he needs to stop trying to tell me the bad guy is such a saint.
- He betrayed me by keeping contact with that ex Dusty that I told you all about, and now that ex probably thinks I still
miss
- him or something.
He confronted me as if all of it is my fault, and made it all about raising my voice at him. Said we can’t hang out anymore if I won’t apologize and change. I told him that it’s cute that he thinks this is some sort of negotiation and that he has any leverage to demand anything. I will not walk on eggshells and I will not be making myself responsible for managing his feelings for him.
He can run along now and tell the people he betrayed me for what a horrible person I am. I don’t care what he says as long as he makes good on the promise never to try to talk to me again. I even blocked him on everything so he won’t get lonely and change his mind. He can’t be trusted to stick with his word.
As long as you’re afraid of being lonely, people will exploit that, and they can control you. Abusers of all kinds are aware of this. A woman that doesn’t mind being alone simply isn’t “allowed” to do that in the mind of a controlling guy, and they will try anything in their power to make you afraid again.