[30F] I found the right guy, but I can’t fight my family — what would you do?
Do I continue something knowing I might not be able to fully stand up for it later? Or do I step back now to avoid deeper hurt for both of us?
I’m in a pretty complicated situation and could really use some outside perspective.
I was seeing someone I genuinely liked and saw a future with. Honestly, everything else with him feels right — compatibility, values, the way we understand each other — it just works. Things were serious enough that marriage was being considered. But when it came to families getting involved, mine refused to even talk to his family because of caste differences and kundali mismatch.
They went ahead and arranged my marriage with someone else. I tried to go along with it, but that didn’t work out either (ironically, kundalis didn’t match there too).
After that ended, I reached out to the guy I actually liked. He’s still there, still willing to try, but now everything feels… uncertain. There’s emotional baggage, fear of things going wrong again, and the same family hurdles still exist.
The hard part is — I don’t think I’m in a position where I can go against my family. That’s what’s making this even more confusing. I care about him, and everything else feels right with him, but I also know the reality I’m operating in.
Now I’m trying to figure out:
• Do I continue something knowing I might not be able to fully stand up for it later?
• Or do I step back now to avoid deeper hurt for both of us?
I don’t want to make a decision driven purely by emotion and regret it later. At the same time, I don’t want to let go of something real just because it’s difficult.
Would really appreciate thoughts from people who’ve been in similar situations or have a more objective view.