u/stefi019

AITA for hiding my identity from my penpal/rival even though we’ve known each other for years?

I (24M) have known this girl (23F) since high school. We were debate rivals first, and now we’re both at the same university on track to become lawyers. We’ve basically been competing for years. Same classes, same competitions, same internships. We bring out the absolute worst and best in each other.

We also come from completely different worlds.
Her family struggled financially for most of her life. Mine is one of the wealthiest families in the world. Like private security, political connections, oil money wealthy.

Six years ago, during high school, I started anonymously responding to someone who accidentally texted me. We became penpals. Over time she told me things she didn’t tell anyone else — fears, insecurities, personal stories, habits, what rattled her during arguments, etc.

At the time, I had no idea it was HER.

I did use some of those things to get an upper hand against her in debate and later academically once I figured out it was her. I justified it because she was already terrifyingly good and I was obsessed with beating her.

I put two and two together when she told me about an incident at her cater waiter job she worked at for money. The event happened to be hosted by my family, and the story was specific enough that I immediately realized who my penpal actually was.

She still didn’t know who I was.

I know I should’ve told her then. But by that point our anonymous relationship had become the only place where we actually got along. In real life we argued constantly and drove each other insane. Online, she trusted me.

So I kept hiding it.

And eventually I fell in love with her.

Recently my family was negotiating a massive oil deal. Long story short, I used my authority to forge her signature onto ownership documents and gave her a third of the company.
Yes, forged.

Before people ask: legally, it’s complicated, but no, she did not know beforehand and no, she did not agree to it.

I did it because I knew for the sake of protecting her that if she were on title, this deal would never fall back into the wrong hands. She deserved ownership more than half the people involved to begin with. Also because I know her well enough to know she never would’ve accepted it if I simply explained what was going on. She’s too proud and hates feeling indebted to anyone, especially me.

When she found out, she completely lost it.
And during the argument, she also discovered I was the anonymous penpal she’d trusted for six years.

Now she says every interaction we’ve ever had feels violating because I let her confide in me anonymously while competing against her in real life. She says I manipulated her emotionally and professionally, and that forging her signature proved I still see her as someone whose life I can control because ‘money is power’.

I tried to explain that my intentions changed a few months ago when I found out who she is. At first I wanted an advantage, yes, but eventually I loved her and wanted to protect her and give her opportunities she never had. She said if I actually respected her, I would’ve given her the truth and the choice.

AITA?

‘Signed, Your Rival’