The unexpected part of my endo journey – the assumptions about having children
First of all, thank you to this community for sharing all your experiences. It really helped me to prepare for what to expect along this journey.
Last week I had my laparoscopy to look for and stage suspected endometriosis, and they did find stage 2 endo (behind my uterus) as well as a blocked fallopian tube, and an enlarged uterus pointing towards adenomyosis.
I echoed all the doubts that I often see posted here but was still mentally prepared for the physical side of things, the pain, recovery, whatever they might find. What I wasn’t prepared for was how often I was asked about having children, or how much it was just… assumed.
At pre-admission, although the lady had good intentions, she assured me that next time I come to the maternity ward it will be to have a baby?? The night nurses first question for me was to ask how many children I have? And when my Dr came through after surgery she mentioned some options to combat the infertility. I had never expressed to her that preserving fertility was my main goal and actually previously let her know that I don’t think that I want to have children but she seems to just ignore if/brush it off.
I understand that fertility can be a big part of this diagnosis for many people, and it certainly is important. But it felt strange how much of the focus it seemed to be even before I was able to process everything especially since I was not expecting the other findings.
It worries me that perhaps endo/adeno is framed heavily through a fertility lens, rather than just focusing on pain, quality of life etc. I’d like to ensure that when I see my Dr for my post-op that fertility is not my main focus but that my issues are not then brushed aside because “oh well, she doesn’t want children anyway” I get that this is a major assumption and I hope it’s not the case.
Has anyone else experienced this? Did you feel like your care was overly focused on fertility, even when that wasn’t your priority?