u/simple_201

കുറച്ച് മുൻപ് നടന്ന സംഭവം ആണ്.. ഓർത്തപ്പോ ഇവിടെ ഇട്ടേക്കാമെന്ന് വച്ചു..

അറേഞ്ച്ഡ് മാര്യേജ് മതിയെന്ന് നിർബന്ധം ഉള്ളത് കൊണ്ടല്ല, അത് മാത്രമേ നടക്കൂ എന്ന് വീട്ടുകാർക്ക് തോന്നിയ കാലം..

വീട്ടിൻ്റെ ഏകദേശം 100-150 km ചുറ്റളവിൽ ഉള്ള bakery പലഹാരം ഒക്കെ ഏതാണ്ട് try ചെയ്തു കഴിഞ്ഞു.. എന്നിട്ടും ഒന്നും സെറ്റ് ആവുന്ന ലക്ഷണം ഇല്ല..

എനിക്ക് ഇഷ്ടം ആവുമ്പോൾ പെണ്ണിന് ഇഷ്ടം ആവില്ല.. തിരിച്ച് ആവുമ്പോൾ ജ്യോത്സ്യൻ / പെണ്ണിൻ്റെ വഴിയേ പോയ ബന്ധു yellow card കാണിക്കും..

അങ്ങനെ പോവുമോ ചെങ്ങന്നൂർ നിന്ന് ഒരു alliance വന്നു.. നല്ല കുട്ടി, വീട്ടുകാർ, ഒരു ബ്രദർ abroad.. എല്ലാം കൊണ്ടും പ്രതീക്ഷയുടെ മൊട്ടുകൾ വിരിഞ്ഞു.. പോയി കണ്ട് കളയാം എന്നായി വീട്ടുകാർ..

അങ്ങനെ രാവിലെ 5 മണിക്ക് സ്ഥിരം ടീം ഇറങ്ങി വീട്ടിൽ നിന്ന്.. രാഹു കാലത്തിന് മുൻപ് പെണ്ണിൻ്റെ വീടിൻ്റെ പടിവാതിൽ കേറി.. ഹാവൂ, phase 1 completed..

ചായ വന്നു, കൂടെ വീട്ടിൽ ഉണ്ടാക്കിയ അച്ചപ്പം, മുറുക്ക്.. അങ്ങനെ ചെറു സംസാരം ഒക്കെ ആയി.. ഇടക്ക് പെണ്ണിൻ്റെ അച്ഛൻ പറഞ്ഞു, ഇനിയിപ്പോ അവർ സംസാരിക്കട്ടെ..

ഞങ്ങൾ രണ്ടും ബാൽക്കണിയിലേക്ക് വന്നു.. ചെറിയ ചാറ്റൽ മഴ പുറത്ത്.. ആഹാ, ambience സെറ്റ്.. ഞാൻ മനസ്സിൽ പറഞ്ഞു..

ഇവിടൊക്കെ ഭയങ്കര ട്രാഫിക് ആണല്ലേ.. ഞാൻ ഒരു icebreaker ഇട്ടു..

"Aey, ഇതൊക്കെ normal അല്ലേ.. എനിക്ക് ഇഷ്ടം ട്രാഫിക് ഉള്ള സ്ഥലത്ത് ഡ്രൈവ് ചെയ്യാൻ ആണ്.. മനു nervous ആകുമോ ട്രാഫിക് ഉണ്ടേൽ?"

മുൻപ് കായംകുളത്ത് പോയി പെണ്ണ് കണ്ടപ്പോ ചെസ്സ് കളിക്കാൻ അത്ര അറിയില്ലെന്ന് പറഞ്ഞു കുളം ആയ experience ഉള്ളത് കൊണ്ട് ഞാൻ പറഞ്ഞു - ഏയ്, actually എനിക്കും അതാ ഇഷ്ടം..

ആൾക്ക് അത്ര convincing ആയില്ല എന്ന് തോന്നി ചിരി കണ്ടപ്പോൾ.. എൻ്റെ confidence പകുതി ആയി..

എന്നാലും പതിയെ മറ്റു ചില കാര്യങ്ങൾ ഒക്കെ സംസാരിച്ചു ഒന്ന് cool ആക്കി scene..

അങ്ങനെ സംസാരത്തിനിടയിൽ ഞാൻ ചോദിച്ചു..

"Cooking ഇഷ്ടമാണോ?"

"അതെ.. YouTube നോക്കി പുതിയ dishes try ചെയ്യും.."

അത് കേട്ടപ്പോ വീട്ടിൽ അമ്മയുടെ മുഖം എൻ്റെ മനസ്സിൽ തെളിഞ്ഞു.. "ഈശ്വരാ, finally ഒരാൾ kitchen ഏറ്റെടുക്കും.."

ഞാൻ over excitement പുറത്തു കാണിക്കാതെ തല കുലുക്കി mature ആയി ഇരുന്നു..

പിന്നെ ആൾ ചോദിച്ചു..

"മനുവിന് hobbies എന്തൊക്കെയാ?"

ഈ ചോദ്യം എപ്പോഴും tricky ആണ്.. കാരണം എൻ്റെ actual hobbies എന്ന് പറഞ്ഞാൽ DC books സ്റ്റോറിൽ പോയി വെറുതെ ബുക്ക് മറിച്ചു നോക്കിയിട്ട് വരുന്നതും YouTubeൽ 'Top 10 haunted places in kerala' കാണലും ആണ്..

അതുകൊണ്ട് ഞാൻ safe answer ഇട്ടു..

"Driving, music, short trips.."

"Wow.. solo trips പോവാറുണ്ടോ?"

"Oh yes.. actually I like it very much.."

സത്യം പറഞ്ഞാൽ ചെന്നൈ വരെ പോയിട്ടുള്ളത് company induction training നാണ്.. അത് solo trip categoryൽ കൂട്ടാമോ എന്നറിയില്ല..

അങ്ങനെ നല്ല flowയിൽ conversation പോകുമ്പോഴാണ് താഴെ നിന്ന് എൻ്റെ അമ്മയുടെ ചിരി കേട്ടത്..

അമ്മ comfortable ആയാൽ over comfortable ആവും.. അപ്പോൾ എന്തെങ്കിലും dangerous topic തുറന്നിട്ടുണ്ടാവും..

5 മിനിറ്റ് കഴിഞ്ഞ് പെണ്ണിൻ്റെ അമ്മ മുകളിലേക്ക് വന്നു പറഞ്ഞു..

"മോനെ, താഴെ വരൂ.."

ഞാൻ മനസ്സിൽ പറഞ്ഞു.. ഇത്ര പെട്ടെന്ന് family round 2 ആണോ..

മുഖത്ത് ഉള്ള എൻ്റെ പ്രതീക്ഷയുടെ ചിരി പൊത്തിപ്പിടിച്ച് താഴെ ചെന്നപ്പോൾ എല്ലാവരുടെയും മുഖത്ത് ഒരു strange silence..

അച്ഛൻ എന്നെ നോക്കി ഒരു ചിരി ചിരിച്ചു.. ആ ചിരി കണ്ടപ്പോ തന്നെ ഒരു റെഡ് ലൈറ്റ് കത്തി..

പിന്നെ വീട്ടിൽ നിന്ന് ഇറങ്ങി കാറിൽ കയറിയ ശേഷം ആണ് കാര്യം പുറത്തുവന്നത്..

സംസാരത്തിനിടയിൽ എൻ്റെ അമ്മ casually ചോദിച്ചത്രേ..

"മോളെ, cooking ഒക്കെ അറിയാമല്ലോ അല്ലേ?"

അതിന് പെണ്ണിൻ്റെ അമ്മ proudly പറഞ്ഞത്..

"അയ്യോ ചേച്ചി, ഇവൾ kitchenൽ കയറില്ല.. gas പോലും പേടിയാണ്.. Swiggy ഉണ്ടല്ലോ ഇപ്പോ.. അവൾക്ക് അതാ ഇഷ്ടം.."

അമ്മയുടെ മുഖം അവിടെ വച്ച് തന്നെ CM സ്ഥാനം പോയ അഖിലേന്ത്യാ പ്രസിഡണ്ട് പോലെ ആയത്രേ..

പക്ഷെ climax അതല്ല..

വീട്ടിൽ എത്തിയ ശേഷം broker അങ്കിൾ വിളിച്ചു..

"എന്തായി? മുന്നോട്ട് പോവാമോ?"

broker അങ്കിൾ ഒരു sigh ഇട്ട് പറഞ്ഞു..

"Actually പെണ്ണിൻ്റെ sideൽ ഒരു ചെറിയ concern ഉണ്ട്.."

ഞാൻ മനസ്സിൽ പറഞ്ഞു.. ദൈവമേ, ജാതകം ആണോ, ശമ്പളം ആണോ, height ആണോ..

അല്ല..

"മനു സംസാരിക്കുന്ന ഇടക്ക് രണ്ട് മൂന്നുവട്ടം 'actually' പറഞ്ഞു.. അതുകൊണ്ട് അല്പം over corporate feel ഉണ്ടെന്ന് കുട്ടിക്ക് തോന്നി.. vibe ഇല്ലാത്രേ.."

വീണ്ടും എൻ്റെ കറൻ്റ് പോയി..

അന്ന് മുതൽ ഞാൻ പെണ്ണ് കാണാൻ പോകുമ്പോൾ HR round പോലെ prepare ചെയ്തു പോകും.. do's and don'ts..

Bakery ഐറ്റംസ് പിന്നേം ഒരുപാട് മുന്നിൽ വന്നു..

പക്ഷെ ഇന്നും traffic കാണുമ്പോൾ അമ്മ ചോദിക്കും..

"മനു nervous ആകുമോ?" 😌

"അമ്മേ..!!"

​

പെണ്ണിന്റെ അമ്മാവൻ!

Father strict ആയിരിക്കും. Mother emotional ആയിരിക്കും.

പക്ഷേ അമ്മാവൻ… He moves like a RAW intelligence officer.

ഒരു alliance വന്നു. Everything looked perfect.

Girl nice. Family decent. Same district. Same profession.

വീട്ടിൽ എല്ലാവർക്കും പ്രതീക്ഷയുടെ ലഡ്ഡു.

പക്ഷേ broker uncle ഒരു sentence പറഞ്ഞു:

“Girl’s ammavan is very involved in decisions.”

അമ്മയുടെ face ഉടൻ serious.

ഞാൻ വിചാരിച്ചു: “ശരി… caring family member ആയിരിക്കും.”

BIG mistake.

First meeting day.

Girl’s father polite. Mother smiling. Girl normal conversation.

പെട്ടെന്ന് സോഫയിൽ ഇരുന്നിരുന്ന അമ്മാവൻ forward ആയി വന്നു.

Bro had special interrogation skillsets.

ആദ്യ ചോദ്യം: “Gym പോകാറുണ്ടോ?”

ഞാൻ: "ഇടക്കൊക്കെ.."

അമ്മാവൻ: “Protein powder use ചെയ്യുമോ?”

ഞാൻ confusion-il ആലോചിച്ച്: “ അതും ഇടക്ക് മാത്രം.."

അമ്മാവൻ slow nod ചെയ്തു. CIA got the confession.

5 minutes silence.

അടുത്ത ചോദ്യം: “Friends circle കൂടുതലാണോ?”

ഞാൻ: “Normal ആണ്…”

അമ്മാവൻ: “Night drive habits ഉണ്ടോ?”

ബ്രോ ഞാൻ groom ആണ്. യൂബർ ഡ്രൈവർ അല്ല 😭

Meeting somehow survived.

Tea വന്നു. Snacks വന്നു. ഞാൻ relaxed ആയി banana fry എടുത്തു cool ആണെന്ന് കാണിക്കാൻ..

BIGGER mistake.

അമ്മാവൻ എന്നെ നോക്കി: “Health conscious അല്ലേ?”

ഒരു banana fry കൊണ്ട് character assassination.

പിന്നീട് career discussion തുടങ്ങി.

ഞാൻ casually പറഞ്ഞു: “Long term maybe Bangalore settle ആകാം…”

അമ്മാവൻ instant reaction:

“കേരളം വിട്ട് പോകാൻ ആഗ്രഹമുള്ളവർക്ക് family attachment കുറവായിരിക്കും.”

BRO IT’S BANGALORE. ഞാൻ Antarctica പറഞ്ഞില്ല.

Meeting കഴിഞ്ഞ് വീട്ടിലേക്ക് മടങ്ങുമ്പോൾ അമ്മ already analysis mode-il.

“അമ്മാവൻ അല്പം dominating ആണല്ലേ…”

2 ദിവസം കഴിഞ്ഞ് rejection വന്നു.

Reason?

“Boy seems difficult to guide.”

(പറഞാൽ കേൾക്കില്ല എന്നോ മറ്റോ)

ഞാൻ husband position apply ചെയ്തതായിരുന്നു. UPSC trainee അല്ല.

Worst part?

One week later broker uncle update നൽകി:

“Actually girl liked you… but ammavan final decision strong ആയിരുന്നു.”

അതോടെ ഞാൻ മനസ്സിലാക്കി…

കേരള മാട്രിമോണിയിൽ real final boss: Not horoscope. Not salary.

പെണ്ണിന്റെ strategically unemployed അമ്മാവൻ.

Just providing an update to my mentorship post.

https://www.reddit.com/r/keralaCareers/s/z4wU7QwqVU

Thanks to everyone who reached out over DMs. I still need to reply to a few more DMs there.

To reiterate, this will work for you if you already have a technical background. I had to decline a few interests who just got passed out of school and all. Maybe in future, I can try to arrange something for that group.

I will keep the mentorship open till 20/May after which I will reach out with the next steps to those who responded.

Dear Cocos,

I’m preparing some cyber awareness content for a non-technical elder generation audience (write-ups, live demos, etc.) and looking for real-world examples to make it more relatable.

Has anyone here (or someone you know) encountered online scams, fake profiles, harassment, or similar incidents? How did you deal with them?

Would appreciate any experiences you’re comfortable sharing. 😇

I had this conversation with a prospect on a matrimony site and left me thinking.

I didn't have the salary field filled out, so it was ok with her asking for the number. I gave a range and thought she'll be ok with that. But she insisted on a payslip!

I do understand scams and such but with a verified profile, photos and such you need to have some trust (I suppose).

Anyways it didn't proceed after I told that I wasn't comfortable sharing it.

Is it normal to be asked this level of details upfront to have a conversation?

I was just replying to a post there asking about Cyber Security careers and thought of posting this.

I'm a Security Architect based outside India and would like to offer a free Mentorship program to those who would like to pursue a career in this field.

I'm hoping that I can help with suggesting pathways, answer some queries and possibly help with some CV reviews too. Please note, this is not a recruitment drive or anything. I will need to take time out of my personal time, so can't commit to regular sessions all the time but will try my best to keep it going.

In the interest of making the best use of time, I'm only looking to take on a few initially who have real interest in getting into this field. You should also have some technical background e.g. coding / scripting, or even doing a course already in Cyber Security.

I would like to hear from you all as well. Is this something you will benefit from? What do you want to get out of this program? Any other comments also welcome.

I'm not sure if this breaks any rules here. If so, pls feel free to remove the post.

I’m a 30+ divorced guy from Kerala, settled well here and still figuring things out at my own pace. Not too long ago, though, I was in a pretty rough place mentally. I had posted before (now deleted) about how difficult things were feeling, and honestly, I didn’t expect much.

But what I got was something I didn’t realize I needed — perspective, encouragement, and real conversations. Some of you reached out, shared your own struggles, gave practical advice, or just took a moment to listen. That mattered more than you probably think.

I won’t pretend everything magically fixed itself. That’s not how it works. But things did shift. Slowly. And consistently enough that I can now say I’m on steadier ground, even if life isn’t fully “sorted.”

If you’re reading this and you’re in that low phase, here’s the truth: it feels permanent, but it’s not. Your situation might be messy, unfair, or completely out of your control right now — but your trajectory isn’t fixed. Things can improve, often in ways you don’t predict.

A few things that actually helped me:

* Structured distraction > passive distraction

Mindless scrolling made things worse. What helped was doing things that required engagement — gym, learning something new, even fixing random stuff around the house. It keeps your mind from spiraling.

* Talk to people, even when you don’t feel like it

Isolation amplifies negativity. Even small conversations — online or offline — helped break that loop.

* Stay busy with intent, not just noise

There’s a difference between killing time and using it. The more I filled my day with things that had some outcome (even small ones), the less space my mind had to overthink.

Also, this community deserves credit. It gave me a place to vent, reflect, and stay engaged when I could’ve easily gone the other way.

So yeah — this is just a thank you. And maybe a reminder: if you’re in a similar place, don’t assume this is how it stays. It probably isn’t.

Still single, still building, but a lot more hope and definitely no longer stuck.

Keep going.

I’m a 30+ divorced guy from Kerala, settled abroad and still figuring things out at my own pace. Not too long ago, though, I was in a pretty rough place mentally. I had posted before (now deleted) about how difficult things were feeling, and honestly, I didn’t expect much.

But what I got was something I didn’t realize I needed — perspective, encouragement, and real conversations. Some of you reached out, shared your own struggles, gave practical advice, or just took a moment to listen. That mattered more than you probably think.

I won’t pretend everything magically fixed itself. That’s not how it works. But things did shift. Slowly. And consistently enough that I can now say I’m on steadier ground, even if life isn’t fully “sorted.”

If you’re reading this and you’re in that low phase, here’s the truth: it feels permanent, but it’s not. Your situation might be messy, unfair, or completely out of your control right now — but your trajectory isn’t fixed. Things can improve, often in ways you don’t predict.

A few things that actually helped me:

* Structured distraction > passive distraction

Mindless scrolling made things worse. What helped was doing things that required engagement — gym, learning something new, even fixing random stuff around the house. It keeps your mind from spiraling.

* Talk to people, even when you don’t feel like it

Isolation amplifies negativity. Even small conversations — online or offline — helped break that loop.

* Stay busy with intent, not just noise

There’s a difference between killing time and using it. The more I filled my day with things that had some outcome (even small ones), the less space my mind had to overthink.

Also, this community deserves credit. It gave me a place to vent, reflect, and stay engaged when I could’ve easily gone the other way.

So yeah — this is just a thank you. And maybe a reminder: if you’re in a similar place, don’t assume this is how it stays. It probably isn’t.

Still single, still building, but a lot more hope and definitely no longer stuck.

Keep going.

I’m a 30+ divorced guy now settled abroad and still figuring things out at my own pace. Not too long ago, though, I was in a pretty rough place mentally. I had posted before (now deleted) about how difficult things were feeling, and honestly, I didn’t expect much.

But what I got was something I didn’t realize I needed — perspective, encouragement, and real conversations. Some of you reached out, shared your own struggles, gave practical advice, or just took a moment to listen. That mattered more than you probably think.

I won’t pretend everything magically fixed itself. That’s not how it works. But things did shift. Slowly. And consistently enough that I can now say I’m on steadier ground, even if life isn’t fully “sorted.”

If you’re reading this and you’re in that low phase, here’s the truth: it feels permanent, but it’s not. Your situation might be messy, unfair, or completely out of your control right now — but your trajectory isn’t fixed. Things can improve, often in ways you don’t predict.

A few things that actually helped me (not generic advice, real impact):

- Structured distraction > passive distraction

Mindless scrolling made things worse. What helped was doing things that required engagement — gym, learning something new, even fixing random stuff around the house. It keeps your mind from spiraling.

- Talk to people, even when you don’t feel like it

Isolation amplifies negativity. Even small conversations — online or offline — helped break that loop.

- Stay busy with intent, not just noise

There’s a difference between killing time and using it. The more I filled my day with things that had some outcome (even small ones), the less space my mind had to overthink.

Also, this community deserves credit. It gave me a place to vent, reflect, and stay engaged when I could’ve easily gone the other way.

So yeah — this is just a thank you. And maybe a reminder: if you’re in a similar place, don’t assume this is how it stays. It probably isn’t.

Still single, still building, but definitely no longer stuck.

Keep going.

I’m a 30+ divorced guy now settled abroad and still figuring things out at my own pace. Not too long ago, though, I was in a pretty rough place mentally. I had posted here before (now deleted) about how difficult things were feeling, and honestly, I didn’t expect much.

But what I got was something I didn’t realize I needed — perspective, encouragement, and real conversations. Some of you reached out, shared your own struggles, gave practical advice, or just took a moment to listen. That mattered more than you probably think.

I won’t pretend everything magically fixed itself. That’s not how it works. But things did shift. Slowly. And consistently enough that I can now say I’m on steadier ground, even if life isn’t fully “sorted.”

If you’re reading this and you’re in that low phase, here’s the truth: it feels permanent, but it’s not. Your situation might be messy, unfair, or completely out of your control right now — but your trajectory isn’t fixed. Things can improve, often in ways you don’t predict.

A few things that actually helped me (not generic advice, real impact):

- Structured distraction > passive distraction

Mindless scrolling made things worse. What helped was doing things that required engagement — gym, learning something new, even fixing random stuff around the house. It keeps your mind from spiraling.

- Talk to people, even when you don’t feel like it

Isolation amplifies negativity. Even small conversations — online or offline — helped break that loop.

- Stay busy with intent, not just noise

There’s a difference between killing time and using it. The more I filled my day with things that had some outcome (even small ones), the less space my mind had to overthink.

Also, this community deserves credit. It gave me a place to vent, reflect, and stay engaged when I could’ve easily gone the other way.

So yeah — this is just a thank you. And maybe a reminder: if you’re in a similar place, don’t assume this is how it stays. It probably isn’t.

Still single, still building, but definitely no longer stuck.

Keep going.

I’m a 30+ divorced guy, settled outside India and still figuring things out at my own pace. Not too long ago, though, I was in a pretty rough place mentally. I had posted before (now deleted) about how difficult things were feeling, and honestly, I didn’t expect much.

But what I got was something I didn’t realize I needed — perspective, encouragement, and real conversations. Some of you reached out, shared your own struggles, gave practical advice, or just took a moment to listen. That mattered more than you probably think.

I won’t pretend everything magically fixed itself. That’s not how it works. But things did shift. Slowly. And consistently enough that I can now say I’m on steadier ground, even if life isn’t fully “sorted.”

If you’re reading this and you’re in that low phase, here’s the truth: it feels permanent, but it’s not. Your situation might be messy, unfair, or completely out of your control right now — but your trajectory isn’t fixed. Things can improve, often in ways you don’t predict.

A few things that actually helped me (not generic advice, real impact):

- Structured distraction > passive distraction

Mindless scrolling made things worse. What helped was doing things that required engagement — gym, learning something new, even fixing random stuff around the house. It keeps your mind from spiraling.

- Talk to people, even when you don’t feel like it

Isolation amplifies negativity. Even small conversations — online or offline — helped break that loop.

- Stay busy with intent, not just noise

There’s a difference between killing time and using it. The more I filled my day with things that had some outcome (even small ones), the less space my mind had to overthink.

Also, this community deserves credit. It gave me a place to vent, reflect, and stay engaged when I could’ve easily gone the other way.

So yeah — this is just a thank you. And maybe a reminder: if you’re in a similar place, don’t assume this is how it stays. It probably isn’t.

Still single, still building, but definitely no longer stuck.

Keep going.

I’m building an educational website aimed at helping engineering students, and I’m currently looking for high-quality BTech study notes across all streams (CSE, ECE, EEE, Mechanical, Civil, etc.).

Requirements:

\- Must be non-copyrighted (your own notes or content you have rights to share)

\- PDF format preferred (handwritten or typed both fine)

\- Clear, well-structured, and exam-focused

Subjects of interest (not exhaustive):

CSE / IT:

\- Data Structures & Algorithms

\- Operating Systems

\- Database Management Systems (DBMS)

\- Computer Networks

\- Theory of Computation

\- Compiler Design

\- Machine Learning / AI basics

ECE:

\- Analog Electronics

\- Digital Electronics

\- Signals & Systems

\- Communication Systems

\- Control Systems

\- VLSI Design

EEE:

\- Electrical Machines

\- Power Systems

\- Power Electronics

\- Control Systems

\- Network Theory

Mechanical:

\- Engineering Mechanics

\- Thermodynamics

\- Fluid Mechanics

\- Heat Transfer

\- Machine Design

\- Manufacturing Processes

Civil:

\- Structural Analysis

\- Geotechnical Engineering

\- Fluid Mechanics

\- Transportation Engineering

\- Environmental Engineering

If you have notes you’re willing to donate, that would be hugely appreciated. If you’d prefer to sell, I’m happy to pay a fair price depending on quality and coverage.

👉 Credits/attribution can be added on the website for contributors (name, profile, or preferred mention).

Not looking for:

\- Textbooks or pirated/copyrighted material

\- Low-quality or incomplete notes

If interested, please comment or DM with:

\- Branch + subjects

\- Sample pages (important)

\- Expected price (if selling)

Thanks!