Things I can do to support someone with TBI? And also dating advice.
Hi, I’m new to this world. I don’t have a TBI but I have been talking to this guy, we really get along so well, I met him online dating, he seriously is one of the most amazing individuals I know. At first I couldn’t gauge his interest because his communication patterns weren’t typical and he was very cut and dry and would sometimes blink out for days or a week but then always come back around and message me something really thoughtful or send me a little song he was listening to that reminded him of me. He finally told me one night that he struggles with multiple brain injuries and concussions due to sports all his life (hockey player, he still plays) and 1-2 major car accidents. He works a very manual job on top of that (tree planter) and I’m not sure how he does it. He gets easily overwhelmed in conversations we have or if I text him too much, and he’ll also block and unblock me on social media (I’m currently blocked and he’s unresponsive, but the last time this happened he unblocked me within 24 hours and DMed me to apologize and ask for my number again).
The reason I give so many details is because I want to try to understand him better, the reasons why he does this kind of stuff, etc.
Is there is any insight from individuals who actually struggle with TBI’s, what’s been your experience dating, and what do you wish the other person knew or understood about you or did for you to support you? I would like to hear your stories if you’re willing to share them.
Also, I’m a big reader and I’ve been trying to find literature on this kind of a thing. Memoirs especially, but any books that helped you cope personally with your injuries, or anything that you think would help me understand people that struggle with this. I really, really love this man. The hardest part is that he has expressed so many times that he is “a bad person” and that breaks my heart that he thinks of himself that way. He is truly one of the most remarkable humans I’ve ever talked to and honestly after he told me he had multiple brain injuries it made me respect him so much more. Most people aren’t half the man that he is, even after dealing with a lot less than he has. I wish I could give him the biggest hug and take it all away.