I will never be a teacher
I have a rare bone disease that was never treated as a child. I begged my family for relief but they told me I was being dramatic. That caused irreparable damage to my bones. Because of that there are no specialists that can handle my case. I am also autistic, and struggled in school leading me to drop out at senior year after 10+ years of failing everything. At 18 my family started threatening me with being kicked out. Out of fear of losing what little I had left, I started an onlyfans. My Instagram account was blowing up and I felt that was my only chance to be seen as worthy and independent. I posted bikini pictures and pin up photos. I saved up and have been using the savings from that to survive for the past 2 years living in my mother’s house.
I always dreamed of being a teacher. I raised my 2 little siblings from birth to 10 years old. The only skill I’ve ever been good at is handling kids. I saw a video of a lady making low stimulation children’s content online just now and it made me think “oh my gosh! I would be perfect at that!” But then I realized, my social media is attached to my face.
Not only can I not get out of bed most of my day because of debilitating pain that doctors refuse to treat, but now I’ve ruined my social reputation to be safe around kids. I’m so ashamed and angry and sad.