Why does my brother hates me?
I spent my whole childhood trying to answer this question and I still haven’t found an answer that doesn’t evolve blameing myself.
So I need to give a little context on this one cuz it’s a bit of a complicated family dynamic and i might be biased but I will try as best as I can to make everything clear
So my dad has 3 kids from 3 different marriages, me (20 F) and my two older brothers who were already in their 20s when dad remarried my mom and had me, so pretty big age cap. I will not talk about the middle brother cuz we have a really good relationship and genuinely love each other, but the oldest brother really, not exaggerating, hates my guts, he admited to hating me from the day I was born and for no apparent reason. He also holds a big grudge against our dad for ruining his childhood or something, and obviously against my mom. I also feel the need to add that I never in my life met a person who has this much hatred and cruelty and, in my opinion, he’s a complete sociopath (like unaliving stray animals for crossing his property in very graphic ways and beating his family). Speaking of his family, having this big of an age gap he obviously also had kids at the same time my dad had me, and his 2 daughters that are technically my nieces are really close in age with me and we act more like cousins or best friends, and really loved each other growing up and still do. But the thing is we were never allowed to play together, like never they were never allowed to come to my and my dads house(the girls grandpa) he would come but I can only remember a handful of times from the early years when they came to my house, but that stil didn’t stop us from being best friends, we would often hang out in secret and the thing that still infuriates me to this day is that the girls would often INVITE ME to their house but when their dad was there they acted al surprised when I showed up “uninvited” to avoid being punished by their dad (they both cut him off completely eventually)
And what bugs me so much it’s that I spend my entire childhood trying to make this loser asshole to at least like me and couldn’t understand why he didn’t and it really hurt me tbh. And it really bugs me that I’m really fucking scared and avoid running into him cuz he promised me a beating from still keeping contact with the daughters that cut him off, mind you this man is in his 40s now! And even now when we girls hang out we have to sneak around as to avoid running into him.
I was just a kid and I need some clousure that I will never get.