Looking for advice about when it's appropriate to mind your own business after finding unknown relatives.
I would really appreciate advice from people who have decided to tell relatives about finding matches that imply the relative has a kid they aren't aware of.
I decided to get a DNA kit for fun while it was on sale during the holidays but ended up getting a match for a female first cousin I've never heard of. I texted my mom asking who the girl was because I was confused and thought someone in the family had slipped my mind.
It's turned into an entire ordeal lmao. I regret even taking the test. Both my mom and my aunt have since taken a test to make sure the girl is their niece and not their half sibling. My mom and aunt have two brothers and think they know who the father is. My mom physically drew out a timeline trying to narrow down which brother was where and who they were dating during the timeframe when the girl was born.
If it's Uncle 1 then that implies marriage infidelity. I love this uncle and we don't think it's him. If it's Uncle 2 then it would almost be funny because he's on his religious high horse and probably thinks I'm going to hell because my diet isn't kosher. I'm not even Jewish. It's probably his kid. Her Ancestry pfp looks similar to someone he was seeing despite the woman being married. He was single at the time but has been married for like 30ish years now. His wife can't have kids.
My mom wants to tell Uncle 2 that he might be a father and has already bought another dnakit for him to take under the pretext that they're trying to see how different the results are between siblings. I think this is a bad idea because it's essentially a trick. Pretty sure my mom is viewing it as her wanting to know if she had another child and the guilt that could accompany not being in the child’s life. Both my mom and my aunt would excitedly and wholeheartedly welcome her though if contact was made.
But I think my mom needs to drop it. I can't imagine anything beneficial happening though this. My uncle is kind of a dick and I wouldn't wish him upon anyone lol. I keep calling her a girl but she's an adult so it's not like she's a kid that needs his help. I think my mom is just being curious and wants a resolution without thinking of the implications. Should I push for her to not get involved in this? The girl's name is really generic so Facebook sleuthing hasnt helped me with anything.