u/payme_mommy

Used to get walked over in every negotiation. Learned the basics and it's embarrassing how much money I left on the table.

​

First job out of college I accepted the first salary they offered. No negotiation. Just said yes immediately because I was grateful they wanted me.

Bought a car and paid sticker price. The salesman probably high-fived someone after I left.

Renewed my lease every year without questioning the increase. Just signed it.

Got a lowball offer on something I sold online and took it because I didn't want confrontation.

Years of this. Thousands of dollars lost probably. All because negotiation felt uncomfortable and I had no idea what I was doing.

Finally decided to learn. Not to become some aggressive shark. Just to stop being a pushover.

Started using BeFreed for this. It's a personalized audio learning app. Told it I wanted to learn negotiation basics for everyday situations.

What I actually learned:

Anchoring. Whoever puts the first number out sets the range. Stopped letting other people anchor first when I'm selling.

BATNA. Best alternative to negotiated agreement. Knowing your walkaway point removes desperation. Used this when negotiating rent.

The flinch. Just reacting with surprise to an offer. Feels weird but it works. Tried it at a furniture store and got 15% off.

Silence. People fill silence with concessions. Stopped rushing to respond.

Separating positions from interests. What someone asks for vs what they actually need. Finding underlying interests creates win-wins.

The flashcards made these automatic. Now I recall techniques in the moment instead of thinking of them later.

The AI coach helped me prep for specific situations. Asked how to negotiate a raise when my company claims there's no budget. Got three different approaches.

What changed:

Negotiated my rent down $75 a month. Took one email.

Got a better rate on car insurance by mentioning competitors. Five minute phone call.

Negotiated a signing bonus at my new job. First time ever asking for something extra.

What I'm still bad at:

High stakes negotiations. Still get nervous.

Negotiating with people I know well. Feels weird.

Walking away. Know I should sometimes but I don't.

This should be mandatory in schools. The amount of money people lose just from not knowing the basics is insane.

Anyone else learn negotiation late? What changed for you?

reddit.com
u/payme_mommy — 6 days ago