my brain is noisy
i’m a hobby artist. i draw the same thing 95% of the time as a way to show my love for this thing (a lot).
i like posting my art, i got to do some big things outside of social media because of it. but most of the time, it’s just a battle of getting the algorithm to like my work. While “draw not to appease the algorithm” is usually my default state, i tend to use one or two things in my art which artwork that “pop off” usually do, though to mixed (usually negative) results. When I don’t apply one, I still post it despite expecting it to flop.
popped off or flop, i still wanted to draw as I do. though i always see the artists that draw the same thing I do. artists I admire. they draw faster, have bigger numbers, and have better artwork. heck their sketches look better (and do better) than my fully rendered pieces.
everytime i see their work, the two warring states in my brain argue a lot. (everything below is in all caps in my head, but i’ll spare from typing them that way)
“Their artwork is amazing! you can never do that” “I know” “Stop drawing then” “Just take it one step at the time” “You’ll never catch up to them” “I already have some improvements myself” “Some” “Shut up” “Your art still sucks” “Maybe, but I want to keep drawing anyway” “Their sketches already look better than your fully rendered art!” “I know.”
It’s usually that exchange. Though when I have my PMS around, it’s usually the negative side that’s dramatically stronger.
i don’t even know why I’m sharing this. I just wanted to let out steam (yes, PMS.).