Does anyone else..not mind their tinnitus?
I am not trying to offend or fire anyone up or offer sage advice. I'm just wondering if anyone is genuinely chill with having tinnitus, or if it's just me. I've had it since at least age 10. It might have started when I got knocked over onto concrete, I dunno. But I've never really been anything except curious and accepting, to the point that if there was a cure I wouldn't do it. And maybe it's because I got it so young?
For most of my life I thought it was the sound of silence, literally, and that everyone heard it. Then when I was in my 20s I heard a story about a teacher in his 50s who developed tinnitus and decided it wasn't worth living with. I thought about that for years after as if was the first time I learned the name for what I hear, and that for many... most?... people its debilitating.
And I do get how it would be awful especially if you know what silence sounds... feels?... like. And it doesn't affect my hearing either like right now it's night and I'm in a quiet dark room; I can hear the clock ticking, the TV a couple of rooms away, and the creaks of the house. And I can hear a chorus of angels in my ears. Or bells. High tones, low tones, undulating, and i just find it a very beautiful sound that I can focus on at any time, let its complexities envelope me, or let it fade to a background hum.
I have an aunt who has just developed it and she's really suffering, and I feel so bad for her but I also don't think I'm the right person to offer her advice because I dont know what she's going through really, I dont know her sense of loss or annoyance or entrapment. And it mskes me wonder if the normalisation versus sudden onset is what makes the difference between suffering and accepting? Or am I just really strange? Or does my tinnitus just sound really beautiful and that's uncommon? (I would struggle to believe that but hey who knows).
Anyway I've never spoken to anyone else with tinnitus About tinnitus cuz doesn't everyone just despise that person who has an affliction and isn't afflicted by it? So I dont talk about it. But, coming here on a whim makes me think... maybe I am the only tinnitus afflicted person not looking for a cure?