I’m quitting, probably. And it kinda sucks.
I’ve worked in the film industry for over a decade, and I made a conscious choice to pursue acting about 2 years ago. I did everything I thought I was supposed to do, took classes, headshots, got two agents, the works. At the time I had a very flexible job that allowed me to sustain myself economically while doing all this on the side, and in my mind it was just a matter of time before I booked something that would allow me to fully switch careers.
Anyways long story short I lost my job, in a messy had-to-sue-my-employer way. Took the time to fully commit to acting, and sent as many self tapes as I could (in the hundreds), networked, took more classes, yadda yadda. After a year, I booked a tiny role in a movie and a lead in a short film. Combined, I got $350 out of this. After spending ten times that amount of my savings trying to make it happen.
After a year, my savings are now gone. Three months ago I was approached by a pretty big international company and today I was offered a position. It would be the most stable job I’ve ever had, still in film, but now as a 9-5 full time employee, a tiny cog in a monstruos content-pumping machine. The benefits are insane, and I mean unreal. Like my friends don’t believe me when I tell them I’d get 5 different insurance policies and a retirement plan and that’s not even the half of it. They’re only opening two spots for the entirety of the continent and after three months of interviews and meetings I’m the first candidate they picked. So to say it’s a ridiculous opportunity is a severe understatement, especially in my country where everyone in the industry (wife included) works as a freelancer with literally no safeguards against sudden loss of work, or 16 hour shifts, or injuries or anything else. It’s the holy grail of job security for people in film.
Anyways. Accepting the offer would mean completely giving up on acting. I know some people find other outlets and act in community theater and such. That’s not really an option here, as this job will be exceedingly demanding.
I feel both blessed and distraught. I allowed myself to dream big but I’m not a teen still living with their parents. I’m a married man who needs to pay rent and feed his cats. Bittersweet endings all around. Mostly I’m just venting here. It’s gonna be awfully awkward facing some peers with whom I very enthusiastically voiced my future plans. Ah.